Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman yelled at me in public toilets

315 replies

empee47 · 25/05/2025 07:58

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

OP posts:
Missingpop · 26/05/2025 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

LizzieW1969 · 26/05/2025 18:35

My DD1 (now 16) has always hated hand dryers and still does all she can to avoid using all public toilets. (She has epilepsy and is also neurodiverse.)

But I still would never have thought of shouting at another mum for using a hand dryer. YANBU.

Bleachedlevis · 26/05/2025 18:04

I would have sighed, told her to do one (fuck off actually but not in front of the child 😀)and advised her to exercise good manners in front of her daughter. Definitely nut case behaviour.

axolotlfloof · 26/05/2025 18:01

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

Your preferences don't trump anyone else's.

independentfriend · 26/05/2025 17:53

Suspect she was sensorially overloaded by the hand dryer as well as her child so she wasn't able to be as courteous as you'd expect.

Problem isn't either of you but the presence of noisy hand dryers (and no paper towels) in loos with poor acoustics.

CinnamonBuns67 · 26/05/2025 15:09

Don't think on it again OP. She's an absolute idiot for shouting at you she should have just asked nicely.

Poppyyoutwat · 26/05/2025 14:58

Cherrytree86 · 26/05/2025 13:41

@Poppyyoutwat

at nine or ten years old? I’d be absolutely fine with leaving them outside the ladies. What do you think would happen??

Show quote history

We all have different perceptions of risk. I just wouldn’t leave my 9/10 year old outside a loo in a busy place.

Cherrytree86 · 26/05/2025 13:41

Poppyyoutwat · 25/05/2025 13:59

Where should he be then? Seriously. You are at a theme park, or a shopping centre, alone with your 9 year old son. You really need the toilet. You’d be happy to leave him standing outside while you possibly had to queue? You wouldn’t worry?

I am all for women’s spaces, but come on, it’s children we are talking about.

Show quote history

@Poppyyoutwat

at nine or ten years old? I’d be absolutely fine with leaving them outside the ladies. What do you think would happen??

MyDeftDuck · 25/05/2025 19:14

Well OP, seems like you forgot to take your crystal ball to Tesco 😂. Seriously though, I would have had to have words with the crazy bitch……..yelling at you because her child doesn’t like the noise of a hand dryer?…the kid was probably equally scared of her batshit mother.
There are ways to address situations like this and the woman clearly has no idea.

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 16:24

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:50

Eh?
You're the one continuing this, and wading in.

Show quote history

Eh?

Jamesjunk · 25/05/2025 15:16

Never heard owt so daft in all my life, sounds like she's got issues herself, I think I'd have laughed and left the stupid nut case to it.

effie19 · 25/05/2025 15:15

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

@funkeh Take your own tissues next time?

So if someone shouted at you for doing something perfectly reasonable and completely within the realms of standard societal norms you just.... wouldn't do it anymore? Is that how you live?

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 15:10

Bidedtime · 25/05/2025 15:07

I imagine you to be a very intriguing character in RL @Koalafan 😂

Show quote history

That's great you've got a wild imagination, thanks for sharing.

Bidedtime · 25/05/2025 15:07

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:37

This is unlikely to be relevant to pp's son, however some little boys peer under/through gaps in toilet doors (or try to) or generally create mischief if not in cubicle with mum.

Show quote history

I imagine you to be a very intriguing character in RL @Koalafan 😂

pinkyredrose · 25/05/2025 14:56

leli · 25/05/2025 08:24

What an idiotic comment.

Show quote history

How is it idiotic?

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:50

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:47

And you’re not the police to decide what age a mother can take her DS into the toilet police. Nor is your opinion of it’s probably ok because you say so!

Honestly, talk about think the rule the decision on optimum age, telling mothers what they must do in a few years.

Anyway, you’ve had enough attention, derailment and posts deleted.

👋

Show quote history

Eh?
You're the one continuing this, and wading in.

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:47

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:42

No need. I'm holding up my hands. I have no plans to derail further.
You're not the thread police. 🫣

Show quote history

And you’re not the police to decide what age a mother can take her DS into the toilet police. Nor is your opinion of it’s probably ok because you say so!

Honestly, talk about think the rule the decision on optimum age, telling mothers what they must do in a few years.

Anyway, you’ve had enough attention, derailment and posts deleted.

👋

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:42

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:40

Well go start your own thread or join one of the 24000 other threads on the topic of boys ages in toilets or changing rooms?

Show quote history

No need. I'm holding up my hands. I have no plans to derail further.
You're not the thread police. 🫣

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Well go start your own thread or join one of the 24000 other threads on the topic of boys ages in toilets or changing rooms?

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:37

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:35

It’s not “really” an issue! It’s no issue at all.

So, why are you even giving your unrequested opinion, jumping on a PP who has a five year old?

Telling her in a few years time, it would need to change? So what? What does that matter today?

You must’ve been mightily disappointed when she answered he was 5 and not 8, you couldn’t launch into “he shouldn’t be in there” tirade.

MYOB!

Show quote history

Eh?

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:37

Bidedtime · 25/05/2025 14:33

I wouldn’t like an 8 year old boy in my gym changing rooms

but I have no issue in toilets. I go in to a cubicle, lock door, do what I need to do, exit cubicle. All he would see is me washing my hands and drying

That’s not what this thread is about, @Koalafan hss just derailed it and the PPs DS is five anyway.

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:37

Bidedtime · 25/05/2025 14:33

I wouldn’t like an 8 year old boy in my gym changing rooms

but I have no issue in toilets. I go in to a cubicle, lock door, do what I need to do, exit cubicle. All he would see is me washing my hands and drying

This is unlikely to be relevant to pp's son, however some little boys peer under/through gaps in toilet doors (or try to) or generally create mischief if not in cubicle with mum.

carpool · 25/05/2025 14:37

DGD now 7 has always been sensitive to the noise of hand dryers in public loos to the extent that when she was really small she would start getting upset before we even went into the loos! She is on a waiting list for assessment for ADHD now so probably explains it. Many a time I have had to put my hands over her ears so that her own hands were free for her to wash them.

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 14:35

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 14:22

Did you miss the part where I said it's not really an issue now but will be when he's older? 🫣

Show quote history

It’s not “really” an issue! It’s no issue at all.

So, why are you even giving your unrequested opinion, jumping on a PP who has a five year old?

Telling her in a few years time, it would need to change? So what? What does that matter today?

You must’ve been mightily disappointed when she answered he was 5 and not 8, you couldn’t launch into “he shouldn’t be in there” tirade.

MYOB!