Woman yelled at me in public toilets

Ignore her. It's just a load of hot air 🙂

Ridiculous.. my 4 yr old grandaughter washes drys her hands yeah its noisy but it just drys your hands.
Up to parent to parent her own child id of told her straight not to speak to me like that .

No, she's being ridiculous. I have an autistic DS who's scared of the noise, we use the accessible toilets for that reason. I wouldn't anyone else to not go about their normal routine. Even if she'd gently asked while you were washing your hands, that would be ok, but she's just entitled.

Really!

When DS1 was small we always exited the toilets madly flapping our hands because he hated the hand dryers😅 People can be considerate and polite in general - holding doors open for the next person, queuing, lifting something off the top shelf etc - but they aren’t mind readers and they can’t mitigate for every possible situation. Even though my son hated the hand dryers, when he wasn’t with me, I just went ahead and used them, I wasn’t looking around to see if there was a potentially distressed child hanging about.

While I agree that that this woman was probably stressed, I don’t think people should be expected to accept rudeness from others just because there might be an underlying reason. Otherwise we should accept rudeness from all human beings all the time because they might be stressed/late/grieving/on their way to an interview etc. The default should be, in my view, to expect a basic level of manners from others.

I agree with you, apart from labelling the mother a vile individual. Her behaviour perhaps. She likely learned that from her own mother of father.

She's nuts, entitled or both.

My kids have auditory sensitivies and (possible SEN etc), handdryers are the utter worst and I have real problems even getting them in a communal toilet, let alone school toilets “blooming bl**dy toilets”. You have no idea. I’ve walked into toilets and they start and one of mine especially runs the other way, it literally makes them feel pain. Or we are in there and they run out as someone starts one up. Hands up sometimes when it is quiet and there are a couple I use family toilets or even once a disabled toilet with chants of my kids pleading me not to turn the handdryers on (I never do). Shopping, theme parks, them at school, it’s a different world. I have never shouted at anyone or actually I’ve never asked anyone not to use one.
I never expect anyone to not use them, yes they’re the bane of my life and have a little party in my head if they only have the very old quiet ones or paper towels (my kids have an excellent product knowledge of handdryers with Dyson Air Blades being the worst contender).
Once when on my own I asked a parent if it was ok to use them as she had a small child with them, she looked at me very oddly.

We grew up with paper towels or those rotating towels you used them pulled round for the next person, when they started to bring in handdryers they were slow, warm and quiet. Now they are fast, noisy and cold.

This woman you encountered was wrong, but she probably is at her wits end with those blasted contraptions.

When people are rude in an unjustified way, you can't help but feel wounded. She clearly has no issue ranting at a stranger in front of her child, which demonstrates what a vile individual she is. What example is she setting, no wonder her child was cowering. Sensitive to noise, tell mother to shut up.

My 9 year old has hated hand dryers since she was little. They used to make her cry. I never asked anyone else not to use them though. We just dry with tissues and scuttle out as fast as we can. She was unreasonable to shout at you.

Ridiculous woman.

Ridiculous request.

Don’t worry about; it’s her problem not yours .

Our son used to be scared of the noise,but i would never shout at anyone for it ,that would be my issue not theirs

YANBU
If her daughter struggles with noise, then that is up to her and her mum to sort... not members of the public.

It is better to wear slippers than expect the world to be carpeted.

It's very upsetting to be randomly yelled at by a stranger when you're innocently going about your business. It can be quite a shock to the system, because it's so unexpected and unreasonable, and it can reverberate for days.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

It wasn't you, it was her for being "off", "unhinged", or whatever it was she was being. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair (not that there is any "fair").
Hope you're feeling a bit soothed by now. Take some time to be kind to yourself.

So you weren’t to know but the noise can affect autistic children who are sensitive.

Ridiculous, don’t think any more of it.

She was a total pillock, I'm surprised you bothered to post this.
I'd have told her to F. off.

Does every toilette need to have a child Tsar to ensure the little darlings are not distressed?

My eldest DS is autistic and has always hated them. He used to have a crippling fear and run out the bathroom! I would never ever shout at someone for using one though, how are they to know?!? Sometimes now DS will say excuse me, I really don’t like the hand dryer and most people are absolutely fine waiting! All she had to do was ask!

YANBU OP.

You’ve done nothing wrong.

I say this as a Mum who’s own 6 year old was petrified of hand dryers when he was a toddler. It was absolutely on me to help him manage this, usually by ducking into a separate baby change toilet so he could wash his hands then dry them with a paper towel away from the communal hand dryers. When we had to use larger toilet blocks I always reminded him that whilst he could choose not to use one, we could not control other people choosing to use them. I would not have dreamed of asking members of the public not to use them. Occasionally, somebody would hear us chatting about it and offer to wait until we’d gone, but I would absolutely not expect that.

She's ridiculous. How were you supposed to know. My 3 year old is terrified of the hand dryers but I wouldn't expect complete strangers to know this and not use the dryer. I just assure my daughter it's ok, it's just noise.

@Poppyyoutwat

why though??

@independentfriend

Paper towels are really bad for the environment

She was out of order the way she dealt with it. If her lid doesn't like dryers then she should have said before you used it not after. I don't like her sound myself and come from a family full of autism so fully understand they can affect some kids. Due to my own experiences if there's any children in a bathroom I will ask but that's just me. The parent already knows their kids needs the onus is on them to deal with this in plenty of time not on others to mind read.