To take separate holidays from now on

Our first few holidays with our first child were hard and disappointing . We were expecting couples' holidays as we had known them. Once we had accepted that holidays looked different with a little one, we pretty much let her routine shape our days and immediately started to love our holidays again.

You're both pretty foolish for not realising that holiday won't work with a young baby. I know you said you suggested something easier, why did you plan and book this trip?

Holidays with children are hard work! Maybe need to adjust expectations a little? A nice hotel in France or Italy and just relax really. Life changes when you have a family. Long lie ins are a thing of the past. Maybe a couple of days to sightsee and a couple just chilling by the pool .your trip sounds a bit full on for me!

With all due respect, I completely disagree.

Ds (15) is autistic and very attached to his teddies. I write a list before we go of who is coming and every single morning I do a roll call of them! They never leave the accommodation (and are often added to in Number during the trip!)

One of my children is incredibly attached to her cuddly toys- they are like her extended family. My other one doesn’t really care. First child once left behind a favourite toy in the hotel toilets. The wailing and tears when we discovered it was missing was just horrendous. The hotel found it a couple of days later and posted it back and I have never seen a child so happy when it arrived home with a note attached saying it had been on an adventure.

i feel the pain of the previous poster losing a toy in the airport. It would have totally ruined the holiday if that had happened to us.

The “forgot Ted” post has triggered a traumatic memory. When DD was 4 we went to Copenhagen. All good, lovely break. We didn’t count the cuddlies she took with her and didn’t realise we hadn’t quite collected all of them at the end of the break. Got home, Eeyore was missing. The wailing at bedtime went on for weeks! She still looks a bit sad if something reminds her, and she’s nearly 15.

I agree for this year. However be careful about booking too much holiday in advance. If you are returning to work soon and baby is going to nursery you will need time off for the absolute barrage of sickness your baby will get. It will be back to back colds, viruses, tummy upsets etc. Going forward you will enjoy some low key trips will your child but keep them short and realistic.

we forgot Ted. Ted was DD's constant companion and the toy she slept with every night. Never forget Ted! We had barely arrived at the airport when we discovered Ted was missing. That was fun.

Oh gosh

I can deal with A LOT. This is just my idea of hell, I would have considered booking a later flight it's that bad 😂

Was referring to the sandwiches. Anyway most 6 months old babies are in with parents at home

DH is from Puglia, and we've a house there, so we took DS the first time when he was 8 weeks old, plus of course summer etc.

That said, for our first holiday (ie not going 'home' to Italy), we went to a fly/flop hotel in Tenerife that offered a nursery setting for DS, so we had a bit of down time.

Italians don't really do breakfast; usually a quick coffee/pastry at a bar, unless you're at a hotel where it's included. In Puglia they stick to set hours of lunch, which is hard if you're used to eating later, or grazing, and then you've got that frustrating afternoon wait whilst everything is shut until 5pm. It's a hard rhythm to get into with little ones, especially when 9pm is considered early for dinner.

I'm not sure what shift work has to do with anything. And yes some people have to work away ... however choosing to go away at that point is probably not the best time.

Holidaying with a small child is actually really good fun because they take enjoyment out of most things. You just have to go at a slower pace. It's much easier than when they are teenagers. When they are teenagers they often don't want to do what you want to do.

We found the holiday adjustment after having a baby / toddler quite hard. A few disasters along the way before “giving in” and going low key when they were tiny. Way easier to chuck everything in the car and drive to Brittany or Devon then face an airport for somewhere fancier.

Actually one year when they were a baby and toddler we didn’t bother and they stayed with granny for 2 nights and we went to a posh hotel an hour away so we could actually relax.

Before you know it she will be 18 and you’ll be having aperol spritzs as a family in Rome!

What about people who work shifts or who work away for their job?

Actually rereading your OP, I presume your DH already had his solo trip booked to the festival so absolutely fair enough you take equivalent solo time. I have seen it so many times with young DCs where the DF takes all the breaks, but gets surprised and disappointed when his DP wants to do similar.
If money permits though it’s a real shame to take family holidays off the agenda totally. This holiday didn’t work so next time you try it the way you wanted it at one holiday destination where both you and him get a fair share of relaxation.

With due respect, 8-10 months is peak separation anxiety time and it would probably not be the best point to leave the baby for a week.

It's your first holiday with a baby, there are bound to be mistakes! Just learn from it and plan different holidays in future? It'll be such a shame to bin off family holidays just because of one bad experience.

Also, I think we can have unrealistic expectations of holidays (this can apply generally, not just when we have a child), because we've saved all year for them and looked forward to them all year etc. It can be a real let down when they don't live up to our expectations.

I mean - wanting to sleep til 10 when you have a tiny baby who wakes early is just laughably unrealistic.

we all want to sleep til 10! but he is acting like he doesn't have a child.

I think you need to go self catering (always better with kids_ and just really accept things are different.

As she gets older ( i remember it being about 3) - she will actually enjoy holidays/ swimming/ being excited to travel. But before that, yep same shit different place.

Agreed! What ab overreaction!

Having children changes the types of holidays you go on - we went to Spain when DS was 8 last year, and all he wanted to do was splash around in the pool and make friends.

By all means go on separate trips - but weeks away from your young baby almost seems like you are both making sure you have the same amount of time away. Your trip to Greece sounds like a response to your partner going to a festival.

Life is more give and take - take beach or caravan park holidays with your child and let them enjoy themselves

Interesting some people think it’s best not to travel or take holidays with young children. IME if a holiday house or flat is within easy walk of local life (shops, cafes, bars, playgrounds etc), it’s much easier with young kids. If you take a pushchair with shade, they’re very portable (they can crash out in it day or evening) and they’re generally happy doing whatever you want to do, as long as it’s relaxed.

It’s older kids who are trickier. They generally want good Wi-Fi, have opinions on what they want to do, nag for stuff, moan they don’t want to sightsee (or go anywhere without Wi-Fi) and if they get tired and emotional, the only option is to go home.

IME, the best holiday routine is a chilled morning, breakfast in the house, those who want to can have a lie in, those who want to can go for a stroll and get a coffee/pastry, pick up a few bits of shopping, sit in the sun at the house, kids play etc. Then, head out to the beach with a packed lunch (sandwiches, fruit, crisps, bottles of water etc) for around 1-2pm. Spend all afternoon there until 6-7pm (best part of the day and when locals usually go). Tireder kids/adults can sleep in the shade.

Then, back home for the evening, so everyone can shower, chill etc. Either make a simple dinner (e.g. pan fried fish with salad and bread) or pop out for an evening stroll dinner/drink.

Intersperse with the odd bigger day out: to see sights, go to a water park, go on a boat trip etc. But always have chill days in between. IMHO travelling isn’t only seeing sights, it’s experiencing local life by having a wander, buying local food and going with the flow. It’s great to meet local people via your kids (e.g. in playgrounds or on the beach).

But you also need to have a rest otherwise you come home needing a holiday!