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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To resign myself to cooking different meals?

40 replies

countingdownforseptember · 24/05/2025 21:23

I’m not even convinced this is the solution! But I do need some help as my children are driving me bananas.

I have a four and a half year old, who starts school in September. Behaviour has been a bit tricky of late and after four years of eating most things he’s suddenly and inexplicably become very fussy, refusing foods he’s eaten for years with odd claims. Previous favourites like bolognaise and chilli are rejected because of onions (!) the chilli is apparently too spicy ,.. it’s always too hot (even when it’s stone cold!) you get the idea.

In fairness to him he does eat veg but he’ll often only eat the veg. For example, the other day he had salmon, half a baked potato, corn on the cob and broccoli and he ate the broccoli and corn but I had to bag him to eat the potato and salmon and most didn’t get eaten. Then he’s hungry later because of course the veg isn’t filling!

My DD is two in August and is much more fussy. She won’t really eat much fruit or veg at all but will eat it when mixed into casseroles or bolognaise but now DS is refusing those!

I’m finding it a bit stressful as their diet is important to me. They both go to nursery three days a week and eat well there, though DD is hit and miss, but this week I have them five days a week out of seven and I need some ideas and help.

So onions are out (!) both will eat peas … any suggestions?

OP posts:
HarryVanderspeigle · 24/05/2025 22:12

I'd just make up a batch of what the little one eats and freeze in portion sizes. Muffin trays are good for that age as a meal size. I would make the older one something separate, but definitely wouldn't beg him to eat anything. Either ask what he wants, or have "safe" food on the plate, then serve and don't comment. Pressure around eatings can lead to refusal.

drspouse · 24/05/2025 22:07

We've been there but with older children.

I highly recommend this nutritionist
https://www.instagram.com/family.snack.nutritionist?igsh=NG9jNDZueHh4c3h3

Her snack ideas would be great for younger children though we've made more use of the meal principles and how to talk to kids.

We have really made huge strides. We don't cook separately but we do make sure there's one thing they each eat at every meal.

Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/accounts/login/?next=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.instagram.com%2Ffamily.snack.nutritionist%2F%3Figsh%3DNG9jNDZueHh4c3h3&is_from_rle

maddiemookins16mum · 24/05/2025 21:59

Ignore it. Cook one meal and they eat or don’t. As for fruit and veg, I served it raw as a pre-dinner ‘snack’, we used a fancy mini cake stand type thing and just plonked it on the coffee table during TV time (as I was prepping dinner). No words were spoken, no eye contact made, the veg was eaten 80% of the time.

ThinWomansBrain · 24/05/2025 21:59

@RobinHeartella keep a bag of frozen rice in the freezer, just take out as much as you need for DS
this one comes in steamer pouches, but no reason you can't break those up for smaller portions.

Iceland 6 White Rice Steam Bags 1.2kg | Iceland Foods

Calliopespa · 24/05/2025 21:54

What about things like crunchy raw veg and hummus, pieces of cold chicken as a kind of grazing plate op?

We tend to think of a “hot meal ” as more nutritious, but you don’t have to cook anything fancy to get nutrients into them. It might not be for long.

Readytohealnow · 24/05/2025 21:53

Agree.
Assuming no SN at play and there is no real reason why they can’t eat something, you eat what you are given or go hungry.

RobinHeartella · 24/05/2025 21:50

We have a similar issue with our two.

Dd (nearly 5yo) will eat anything if mixed into something with minced beef eg bolognese, chilli. So I can put lots of hidden veg in chilli and batch cook it. Great! Except...
Ds (1.5y) will not eat anything saucy or pasta based or salad. However, he will eat anything if I chop it up small and mix into fried rice. Great! I can hide all sorts of meat and veg that way. Except...
Dd now says she's sick of fried rice (understandably), although she does at least eat some. Plus, you can't batch cook and reheat fried rice.

So, we're stuck. Our least-worst solution is basically alternating evenings where one or the other child goes hungry or sulks due to refusing the other child's favourite food. With ds we generally cave in and give him a babybel and a yoghurt, because otherwise he's up all night.

Gemmawemma9 · 24/05/2025 21:49

countingdownforseptember · 24/05/2025 21:36

If I did that he’d just fill up on toast. Snacks are boring: breadsticks, bananas, apples or cheese, but he will fill up on them if left unchecked.

Don’t offer toast, don’t offer snacks. If there’s a vegetable he likes and bread available, he isn’t going to starve.

Tooearlytothink · 24/05/2025 21:39

Not at the stage of fussiness yet as DD is only 21months but I have something similar to this and it chops veg so finely you wouldn’t know they’re there - possibly a solution to get DS back eating some if the things he used to?

https://groceries.asda.com/product/cooking-utensils-food-preparation/scoville-hand-pull-chopper/1000383189665

Dinosweetpea · 24/05/2025 21:39

I'm allergic to onions, my husband (the cook!) read about replacing onions in recipes with celery (v finely chopped) so he does that in all dishes now. Might be worth a try.

countingdownforseptember · 24/05/2025 21:36

If I did that he’d just fill up on toast. Snacks are boring: breadsticks, bananas, apples or cheese, but he will fill up on them if left unchecked.

OP posts:
Silvertulips · 24/05/2025 21:34

Then you have 2 pans, one with onions, one without.

I agree with PP, you put dinner in front of them and leave them to it, don’t comment - and then take the plate away.

Dont have snacks in the house and offer toast later if they are hungry.

countingdownforseptember · 24/05/2025 21:31

I diced them so finely today but he still detected them! I guess it wouldn’t be a problem except it’s one of the very few veg I can get into DD!

OP posts:
Unescorted · 24/05/2025 21:29

Onions were a texture thing for my DS. He was fine and then refused to eat them in certain dishes. Fortunately he was older when he decided that they were inedible so was able to articulate what the issue was. Solved by dicing really fine.

I get how frustrating it is.

Gemmawemma9 · 24/05/2025 21:26

Don’t cook different. You’ll make a rod for your own back. Dont pander to fussiness, don’t make a big deal out of it. Cook whatever you’re cooking, include thing that you know they'll eat on the side (a vegetable they like, a bread roll). Let them eat what they want and then take their plate away. The fussy stage will pass, it’s really important to continue to expose them to different tastes, textures and meals.