Friend ‘exaggerates’ on social media

I've only known 2 people like this. Their posts would be so over the top e.g. such a blessing to have a wonderful hubby/child/job etc. But in real life they both had issues going on, both have split from their husband's (be cause turns out they're not nice people). Think they're depressed and want to portray the opposite?! Who knows?!

So what.

She obviously get some happiness from doing it, and people clicking like.

Leave her be.

I think it's very normal to only share the good bits on social media.

Much like an old photo album of holiday snaps wouldn't include pics of Dad going arse over tit after too much wine, nor the massive insect bite on your arse either.

I don't exaggerate how good life is, but I equally I don't post when Dd's lines clog, or she has a poo explosion or when DN sits and sobs because he just wants his Mummy and it's not fair that she's dead.

Surely this is in line with people who post the best photo (of the 10 they took) online, not the one with the double chin or stomach rolls, or ketchup on their chin or whatever.

People literally post the prettiest picture, of themselves and their lives 🤷‍♀️

Would you rather she whinged and whined?

So true!

I would just add that SM is worse because everyone gets to see it, whereas, back in the 80s and 90s when it was only photo albums, it was only the occasional oddball who would get you round to look at the holiday snaps etc. Unless it was close family, you weren't likely to be subjected to the performative happiness / heavily curated and edited life to project an image of a happu family

Pretty normal to only share the happier times, no?

I don’t think it’s a case of people claiming “My life is great” when it’s not. It’s a case of people saying “This moment in my life was great” - which it probably was, even if the rest of their life isn’t.

I mean, if anyone were to post a picture of them and their DP on social media it would probably be one of where they’re somewhere nice and having a lovely time together. They’re not going to post a picture of them having a blazing row in Sainsbury’s or picking up each other’s dirty socks or screaming at the kids.

If you went through any family photo album pre-2000, it would be full of photos of the family smiling and doing nice things together because - regardless of how good things were overall - unsurprisingly it’s only when someone nice happens and people are happy that they want to document it. Social media is no different.

YABU - not to say it's strange, but to be surprised really! Everyone who posts a lot on SM seems to only show their best side IME. I don't use SM (other than things like youtube and MN if they count), but I remember the old days of Facebook when it was all very "here's a list of reasons why I love my amazing husband - nominate five people to do the same" 😂. Forced performative romance....shudder

Groundbreaking news

someone exaggerates on SM

I know people like this.

On Sm they seem amazing but I know them in person and would choose my life over theirs any day.

The sooner we realise everyone on SM is acting, the happier those of us that obsess over a “perfect life” would be.

(Edited to fix typo).

It is probably a coping mechanism for her shit life.

I had a friend who started her own business and always posting about how great it is to be your own boss, how well things are going etc. In reality she was working 50 hours a week and barely making a profit, was working in a bar evenings and weekends to make ends meet and her boyfriend was footing the bill for the nice holidays and new car.
I never did or said anything about it because I didn't want to embarrass her. She was obviously struggling and was aware of it, pointing it out to her face would not have done anything but make her feel bad about herself.

She has given up on the business, got a job in her field and her social media posts are a lot less frequent and a lot more realistic now.

Yes it's normally the ones always declaring thier love for each other , how amazing thier husband/wife is etc who are the most insecure in thier relationships. The ones who are genuinely happy and content rarely post at all. Is it Facebook? If it annoys you, you could hide her posts and she won't know?

I think it would be more unusual for her to air all of her marriage issues on SM or talk about how shit her life might be.

Aren't you her friend? If so then she has at least one friend.

I think most people who are on social try to make their lives seem better than they are. You don't want to air out your dirty laundry for the world to see, although some people do that too.

But there is something that puzzles me about this post. OP calls her a friend and in the next lines says she has no friends. Surely she has at least one if OP is a friend.

This, I have a friend who had an alcoholic husband and there was DV , but from her FB you wouldn't guess it was all family parties And "happy times", thankfully they are now divorced he really was an absolute git to her and the kids, I guess posting rubbish kept her sane.

That’s what everyone is doing on social media. It’s the pits.

Totally agree. I have a good friend who would periodically post how wonderful her DH was, hor grateful she was and lucky to have him and their perfect family. Every time she did that, I’d ring her for a catch up the following week and without fail they had had a huge huge row where wedding rings had been hurled, screaming at each other til the neighbours knocked to see they were ok, her live in nanny once took their DC to her mum’s house to get them out during the row.

the post was always after they’d made up. She was so relieved that they weren’t divorcing because her mother said she mustn’t ever as good Catholics (they have now and her mother has said it’s embarrassing to have a divorcee as a daughter but she understands).

my knee jerk reaction to gushing posts is now ALWAYS that they made up after a cataclysmic marriage shaking row where the poster saw a glimpse into a divorce chasm and backed away hastily out of fear or embarrassment or some other thing that will be outweighed by relief they’re divorcing in the future.

That is what most people who use social media do! Social media is very fake.

It’s a way of losing yourself in what you want your life to be. If you post your life in a certain way, you can pretend for a moment that that’s what it is. The likes and comments you get underneath it give you the boost you need. You’re hardly going to post a picture of socks next to the laundry basket and caption it ‘ffs still incapable of taking the extra step to the basket’

I’ve noticed a correlation between people who post about date nights with their husbands and subsequent divorces. It’s like they’re trying to prove something to themselves or overcompensate.

The last two divorce couples and the 3 most rocky relationships I know of look great of social media.

People just try to convince themselves and others that everything is great.

isn’t that what most people use SM for I know that’s what my sister does let’s face it if everyone shared the reality of life SM would be shit. I barely post anything on SM I might post a cute picture of the cat or the dog but I very rarely post anything about my life or my DH think the last thing I posted was a few holiday photos and that was in April.

This.

I use SM to update friends and family, but let’s face it, I’m not posting ‘DS screamed that we wanted him dead for 3 hours because we asked him to put his shoes on’ (yay, PDA.) a) because I hate attention seeking tales of woe and b) because it isn’t fair on the kids. An occasional cute picture of some artwork they’ve done, or having a nice time on a walk is very different to posting intimate details of our lives.

Isn't this what everyone does? Now I'm happy I never post on social media but when I was really unhappy and going through a tough time in my relationship I posted so many pictures of us apparently happy