Friend ‘exaggerates’ on social media

Agree, poor woman sounds like she needs some happiness in her life and this maybe her way of coping . Be better friend.

Yes, and if she has children, she has family, surely?

Came to say the same! How can she have no family when she had a husband and kids?!

Claiming to have 2 PhDs when you don’t and claiming to be an astrophysicist when you’re not is ‘being deceptive’ though, isn’t it?

Most people sugarcoat, exaggerate, embellish on SM - posting holiday photos selectively, gushing over a child when they’re actually a little terror, etc. but I don’t think most people on SM tell huge lies? For one thing, most people have their RL friends on SM so can’t pretend to have a different job or to still be married. Those lies won’t wash, and I would be seriously worried about the mental health of a friend who was telling them.

most people have a bit of a shit life especially in the uk. Would you be happier if she overshared her miseries? I've been reading a thread on a woman who is morbidly obese, lives on state assistance and begs her followers for money while also claiming to be an astrophysicist with 2 phds, she didn't even do her bachelors irl. I don't think she's being intentionally deceptive.

I think it's pretty common and I understand why, so I don't think of it as strange. Sad would be how I'd describe it.

You don’t know anyone or the state of their relationship until you live with them. How often have we seen couples we know and wonder what the hell one half sees in the other ? Or bat shit ways of carrying on ? Usually the oddest couples or couples facing adversity are the ones who seem to thrive and the ones who are seen as Golden couples on the outside with everything going for them fail .

I’m unsure how living a lie can brighten your life, the very opposite I’d have thought. Falsehoods and baseless claims indicate a poor mental state to me.

I rarely share on sm but when I do it’s photos of holidays etc to show my aunts/cousins. We look happy on the photos but it doesn’t mean there weren’t stressy moments. There are definitely people who are all about their image on their I take it with a pinch of salt (and usually mute them)

If she doesn't have any friends or family (other than you, presumably), then everyone who is friends with her on Facebook is someone she doesn't know personally and she's putting a fantasy life out there to 'keep up' with what she sees as everyone else's great lives.

It might be worth telling her about a few people you know whose lives aren't great (make up a few if you need to) so she doesn't feel like quite such a complete failure.

One of the school mums I know lives a fantasy life on instagram to her 2k followers (she runs a nutrition business), she is a divorced mother of one who shares 50:50 custody with her ex, but is always posting about her busy household, implying she has multiple children and is constantly juggling her life. She even filmed herself filling up a paddling pool with loads of kids toys around it with a caption saying ‘our household is getting ready for some bank holiday fun’ when I know her kid was with dad. I feel a bit sorry for her as she is clearly deeply unhappy with the life she has so is trying to make people believe she has the life she wants - when in reality she has a lovely life, one that a lot of people would dream of with a big house paid for by her ex etc.

I think if it brightens her day then good for her

I suspect most people could have written your header. I deleted all of my profiles to save my sanity and I limit my time on here. People use social media as a kind of social crutch I think, like if they pretend their lives are fine and dandy they don’t have to face the reality?

You said she had no friends but you are her ‘friend, you said she has no family but you describe that she has a husband and children… so she has friends and family? So what is your point?

My friend’s dh had an affair and then beat her up. What followed was the most bizarre outpouring of love on sm from both of them. Anyone in the know was just WTF?!? I’ve still no idea what she thought she was achieving. They’re divorced now. Split up within a couple of weeks of the fb love display.

Ha ha, yes! Those aunts/uncles who did the Round Robin letters at xmas only ever informed us that Rupert had graduated from Oxford with a first and had joined a magic circle law firm, Susannah was enjoying her gap year building schools for starving orphans in Africa and Derek had got a hole in one at the charity gold tournament.

They never mentioned Muriels piles, that Susannah and Rupert are in therapy or that Derek was caught with his pants down in Mrs Forsythes greenhouse…

They were in fact trailblazers for insta!!

You can’t believe everything you read on SM

That’s everyone on SM, isn’t it? Myself included. I’ve just come back from a lovely road trip and I posted to my instagram story some of the more scenic, “perfect” photos of our hikes and lake swims etc. I didn’t post anything about the 24-hour hangover I ended up having where I thought I was going to die, no one needs to see that 😂

This sounds completely normal behaviour of a regular SM user.
Obvs not ‘normal’ real life behaviour, in that its not very healthy.

I’ve a friend who wants to leave her marriage, complaining endlessly about her DH.I have seen for myself that he is cold and controlling. However, her sm posts are often gushing about him, especially the posts from the many holidays they take, cool restaurants they dine out at, or showing off the lovely home they have. I just cant reconcile her online life with her offline life. But hey ho, each to their own. Shes a lovely friend and so I mind my business and scroll on.

The three people I know on Facebook who have been the gushiest about their husbands ('ooh, wow-look at my amazing flowers, everyone-they are from my gorgeous husband for Valentine's Day. I love you so much babe, you treat me like a princess and u am so lucky to have you etc etc' have all separated. I think they presumably wanted things to be amazing and thought if they'd said all that stuff, other people would think that too. But it wasn't.

She’s just trying to survive her life, surly it’s not that hard to understand the logic.

weird you call her a friend then swiftly follow it up by saying she has none. .a little sprinkling of superiority with the “I don’t really use social media” too!

I used to do this, so the outside world didn't see the abuse. There was my magical wonderful Facebook life and.........my reality.

Those who suspected knew when it was bad when I didn't post.

I mean they are literally called 'stories' on SM. So yes, of course people control their narratives.

The most gushing, lovey dovey couple I know on FB have just announced their separation.

Well I post pictures of us happy and smiling, not the tantrums the gits had because I asked them to put shoes on to leave the house and denied them their latest snack request because no one needs 134 snacks in a morning!