To cancel DD’s dance comp after what she said to her little brother?

Why do you speak so kindly about your son and so meanly about your daughter? 'shes been banging on a out' a competition while HE ruined HER item and it's 'he already had tears in his eyes bless him'

You dealt with his horribly.
Your son is clearly the golden child. I think you neeed to say sorry to her

Whilst I agree that the juice shouldn't have been anywhere near, the difference is it was clearly an action. The sister's choice of words, not so much.

To add, siblings are fucking annoying sometimes. And it's OK for kids to feel that, even though it's better left unexpressed..

Do they? OP has yet to say what her son’s consequences are for spilling the juice in the first place which is what caused the whole incident to begin with. Unless he’s blind, there was no reason for him to have juice near it. His sister was reacting to his actions and considering her words, doesn’t read like it is the first time.

Are you looking in the mirror as you type that? 😂

And the poster who suggested ridiculing her in front of a friend’s parents as some sort of “consequences” is beyond words. Horrific.

Sounds more like he is the little master.

She over-reacted, you over-reacted. To salvage the learning from the incident, maybe send DH in to suggest that if she apologises to you and her brother for what she said, you might change your mind about the comp.

Yeah and they should both apologise to each other. Your daughter for what she said and your son for his carelessness.

She called him a freak. You people are unbelievable. A man calls a woman a bitch and it’s game over. A girl calls her brother a freak and it’s understandable.

That poor kid will probably grow up with self confidence issues with a little madam of a sister like her.

Cancelling the competition is an over-reaction.
Is the top salvageable?
If not, it had no business being left anywhere where a spillage was likely - that sort of accident is predictable. Delicate costumes should be hanging up inside a wardrobe, preferably under a cover, not lying around the kitchen or wherever. I think a discussion around that might be useful once things have simmered down. Is DD responsible about her equipment or was it you who left it out, OP?

DD should not be speaking to her sibling like that, that sort of terminology is obviously not acceptable, of course OP is going to be upset about that, but to say that DS is clearly the golden child is a step too far.We don't know whether there is a history of DS ruining his sister's stuff, or whether he is allowed to run around with drinks etc. I would be introducing a "drinks only allowed when sitting down at the table" rule.
DD needs to apologise to DS, OP needs to apologise to DD and they all need to work out ways of preventing that sort of accident.
There also needs to be discussion around why DD thought she could use that sort of insult, and whether she feels that DS's needs over-ride hers at times.

This.

Absolutely wrong to pull your DD from the competition. Incredibly cruel. And you need to seriously examine your attitude towards your DD because you sound uncaring and dismissive towards her.

Off you pop, shitposter.

Has to be a shitposter. Nobody could be that cruel?

What she said wasn't so bad. Especially in the circumstances. I think you have overreacted badly. Is your DD never allowed to be angry? Do you punish her for expressing her authentic and perfectly reasonable feelings? it doesn't sound healthy. Apologise to her and get her to that dance comp, whatever happens.

How is that bullying? Actions have consequences!

8 isn’t a baby, sometimes accidents happen but it seems like you baby the 8 year old and give him free passes while treating your slightly older children like full rational adults.

Cancelling your DD from attending something because she was upset a whole glass of juice got knocked all over her is ridiculous.

OK, so what she said wasn't very nice, and she should apologise, but it's hardly surprising that she was really upset and you don't appear to have any empathy or understanding for her.

Kids learn how to behave from their parents. You can't expect your dd to show kindness and patience towards her younger brother when you show so little kindness and patience towards her. Yes, she overreacted to the drink getting spilled, but actually, that's a massive deal for an 11 year old just before a dance competition, and I'm not at all surprised that she was upset. And you have massively overreacted to her overreaction, so you can hardly criticise.

Cancelling the competition would be really cruel imo, and it would seriously damage relationships - it would almost certainly cement the idea in your dd's mind that your ds is the favourite child (which is definitely the impression that your OP gives, whether it's the case or not), so it would create resentment towards her brother and distance between you and your daughter. Not to mention whatever your DH might feel about being cut out of the decision altogether.

I think you really need to reflect on your own behaviour here. Your daughter is 11 and this competition is obviously important to her - that's why she keeps "banging on" about it. At least try to look at this from her perspective.

Too far

OP, there are parents who long for their children to have interests, especially active, that don't involve scrolling on a screen. Your DD has shared her excitement with you, has asked you to decorate a top for her for the competition.

And you're moaning about her? And defending your son? How is it, exactly, that he came to "spill" his drink over her top?

Obviously I would ask them to babysit or something. I wouldn't just LEAVE her there. But I wouldn't collect her until the competition's over.

I feel for your DD. Don’t cancel the competition. You’ll probably be letting down other people like her dance school or the organisers if she doesn’t turn up which would be unfair.

My DD used to do dance comps and I used to love sorting out her costumes. You sound resentful OP so I think there are bigger problems at play here.

Is the "little one" your precious boy? It's nothing to be fuming about. I'd be pissed off if I was her!