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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder if there's any actual evidence that's trans women are not safe in male loos?

561 replies

Evedence · 24/05/2025 17:40

I feel, as a FWR lurker, that I would have seen linked articles to bank up the fact that trans identifying men aren't safe in men's loos, and therefore that's the rational why women should budge up and accept trans identifying men in their spaces.

I'm pretty sure with a quick Google I could fund evident that trans identity men have made women's spaces unsafe (Kate delowski? The one who worked for a charity and made a masturbation video).

So AIBU to wonder what hard evidence there is?

OP posts:
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12
TheKeatingFive · 26/05/2025 01:17

HangryLikeTheHulk · 26/05/2025 01:02

It’s common sense for people who are vulnerable and need to protect themselves.

Men aren't vulnerable love

HangryLikeTheHulk · 26/05/2025 01:02

proximalhumerous · 26/05/2025 00:31

Is this opinion based on a) a belief that trans people's rights taken precedence over everyone else's; b) complete ignorance of what has just happened in the Supreme Court; or (most likely) c) both of the above?

It’s common sense for people who are vulnerable and need to protect themselves.

proximalhumerous · 26/05/2025 00:31

HangryLikeTheHulk · 24/05/2025 17:50

I think it’s up to the trans person to decide which option is safer for them, depending on the situation, venue, context and risk.

Is this opinion based on a) a belief that trans people's rights taken precedence over everyone else's; b) complete ignorance of what has just happened in the Supreme Court; or (most likely) c) both of the above?

FunMustard · 26/05/2025 00:13

I've seen lots of trans women challenged on the street by other men, who almost always get just as bolshy back. I've never seen one turn away, tearful, try to placate the man or just try to get away, like I'm pretty sure a woman would.

Of course that's just anecdata, bit considering there's plenty of videos of TW in women's loos with their bits out, and plenty that they don't like people seeing, of them spitting obscenities at women (or men) who dare disagree it's strange none of the evidence that would back them up seems to be available.

I admit I also find it confusing that 0.55% of the population (let's pretend it's that much) that are male basically feel they should be allowed to make a personal risk assessment and use female facilities, as opposed to 51% of the population who have a long a unfortunately well-proven risk assessment of Life that males should be in their own spaces. But that 51% can be dismissed in favour of being nice.

Horseebooks · 25/05/2025 23:21

BrickJoker · 24/05/2025 19:35

In Tenerife they are. A big black woman was ENCOURAGING men into the women's toilets at a club. Suffice to say, I didn't oblige.

What the ACTUAL

maddening · 25/05/2025 23:03

Holdonforsummer · 24/05/2025 17:48

Probably as much evidence as there is to say women are unsafe when trans-women use female toilets. I feel sorry for everyone who has got themselves hyped up about this, I really do.

I know - trans women have totally got themselves hyped up about their correct sex bathrooms - they should defo not do so, it is just so sad. Hopefully their fellow men can go out of their way to make these trans identified men feel safe in male bathrooms.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/05/2025 23:02

HangryLikeTheHulk · 25/05/2025 19:55

It’s about letting a vulnerable tiny minority most people will never even encounter making choices that reduce the significant risks they face.

Can you explain why this tiny minority is so important that they must be allowed to compromise the rights, safety and dignity of half the population?

There are about 200 times as many women as there are trans women.

Saying that one male person is more important than 200 female people is quite the hot take. I'm not sure even the Taliban say that out loud.

Namechangedformyanswer · 25/05/2025 22:58

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 24/05/2025 18:15

Don't be silly.

The only women who matter are the ones with penises.

It certainly feels like this. Selfish and ignorant of anyone but themselves. Men in dresses more vulnerable than women and children. Bollocks they are.

SinnerBoy · 25/05/2025 22:34

HangryLikeTheHulk · Today 19:55

It’s about letting a vulnerable tiny minority most people will never even encounter making choices that reduce the significant risks they face.

That's rubbish, there are 7 I recognise in my moderate sized town. Two are quite aggressive and confrontational in public, God knows what they're like in enclosed spaces.

Christwosheds · 25/05/2025 20:18

IDareSay · 24/05/2025 20:08

Individual cubicles are not safer than proper single sex communal toilets with gaps under the doors so people who have collapsed can be spotted. People tend to head to the toilets when they feel ill so this is an extremely good safety measure.

Single occupancy cubicles with no gaps can be dangerous in this regard. It is also easier for a man to push a woman or child into one. They are often down corridors making this even easier.

This.

TheKeatingFive · 25/05/2025 20:11

HangryLikeTheHulk · 25/05/2025 19:55

It’s about letting a vulnerable tiny minority most people will never even encounter making choices that reduce the significant risks they face.

If men face significant risks from other men, in men's spaces, why do you expect women to solve that problem?

You think women should be pressed into service as shields for these men?

You can get lost with that idea 🙄

Annoyedone · 25/05/2025 20:02

HangryLikeTheHulk · 25/05/2025 19:55

It’s about letting a vulnerable tiny minority most people will never even encounter making choices that reduce the significant risks they face.

But gay men are a vulnerable minority also. Are you suggesting they should use women’s spaces? If not, why not?

Nameychangington · 25/05/2025 20:00

HangryLikeTheHulk · 25/05/2025 19:55

It’s about letting a vulnerable tiny minority most people will never even encounter making choices that reduce the significant risks they face.

They're not a vulnerable tiny minority, they're not at anything like the risk that women are, and they've managed to get public bodies and private businesses to break the law for over 10 years.

https://thecritic.co.uk/neither-marginalised-abused-nor-vulnerable/

HangryLikeTheHulk · 25/05/2025 19:55

Valeriekat · 25/05/2025 19:27

All about the men again!

It’s about letting a vulnerable tiny minority most people will never even encounter making choices that reduce the significant risks they face.

Valeriekat · 25/05/2025 19:45

BrickJoker · 24/05/2025 19:27

Why can't trans people just use the disabled loos? And no, I'm not saying it's a disability! I'm just saying, I always use the disabled loo myself if I can avoid being surrounded by trampy public loo users...

Because they are for disabled people?

Naunet · 25/05/2025 19:35

HangryLikeTheHulk · 24/05/2025 18:35

Well apparently men are collectively responsible for all violence, even those who have transitioned.

The reality is far messier than simplistic binaries.

Well exactly, so now go tell transwomen to stop being so bigoted about the 'risk' of having to uses the mens toilets.

TheKeatingFive · 25/05/2025 19:28

Valeriekat · 25/05/2025 19:27

All about the men again!

And women's consent?

Totally irrelevant it seems 🙄

Valeriekat · 25/05/2025 19:27

HangryLikeTheHulk · 24/05/2025 17:50

I think it’s up to the trans person to decide which option is safer for them, depending on the situation, venue, context and risk.

All about the men again!

SoThisisMe · 25/05/2025 19:04

BruisePristine · 25/05/2025 11:18

I cant even imagine how stupid this answer is!
What does this poster think that violence ends there & that it's a circus,well you'll be giving up up more than your child's rights as violence doesn't end where it starts it goes home too where you think your safe & it doesn't end with male on male violence,it's domestic and violence against women.

😂😂😂
Are you high?

BundleBoogie · 25/05/2025 18:47

BruisePristine · 25/05/2025 11:50

Of course you did,you just don't like the reply.

No, sorry, I didn’t understand it either. Could you rephrase please?

Sleeplessinmetal · 25/05/2025 18:12

HangryLikeTheHulk · 24/05/2025 18:39

But in the meantime ?

The 0.55% of the British population 4x at risk of violence than everyone else should have the freedom to mitigate the significant risks they face.

They put their money on the wrong horse - they should have spent the last 10 years campaigning for a third space but instead they found the third space idea to be insulting because it would mean they'd have to admit they weren't women.

Helleofabore · 25/05/2025 17:48

OneQuirkyPanda · 25/05/2025 17:29

I do agree with you completely, I just see it framed a lot that those who disagree with TW in female spaces are doing so because we believe TW are all predators or perverts, when I think the vast majority of us just don’t want men in our spaces for very legitimate reasons, whether they self identify as women or not makes no difference as they are still men.

Yes. Many extreme transgender activists, those that prioritise gender over sex, do use that catastrophising tactic that is also all or nothing. It is a fallacious tactic and very dishonest.

I use the term extreme as to separate them from transgender activists that are rightfully advocating for their rights considering other groups needs when there is a conflict.

The easiest way to explain it though is to point out that just as we don’t believe all men are abusive or rapists, but we still exclude them from all female single sex spaces. So too we should continue to exclude all male people because they still are male ( and we need dignity and privacy from all male people too).

All those extreme activists have is emotionally manipulative tactics. There is no evidence to support them with their points.

OneQuirkyPanda · 25/05/2025 17:29

Helleofabore · 25/05/2025 11:31

“it’s impossible to tell the difference between a trans woman who means no harm”

How about this:

it’s impossible to tell the difference between a transwoman who means no harm and one who does. Just as it is impossible to tell the difference between any male person who means harm and one who doesn’t.

Hence ALL male people should be excluded from any female single sex provision.

The problem is ALL male people.

No exceptions. And no denying that there are some male people with transgender identities who cannot respect female people. Despite the very large amounts of evidence that exists where those very male people with transgender identities do intend to cause harm to female people.

That also removes the need for any one judging whether toilets are more important or changing rooms.

Edited

I do agree with you completely, I just see it framed a lot that those who disagree with TW in female spaces are doing so because we believe TW are all predators or perverts, when I think the vast majority of us just don’t want men in our spaces for very legitimate reasons, whether they self identify as women or not makes no difference as they are still men.

OneQuirkyPanda · 25/05/2025 17:26

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 25/05/2025 11:30

Sometimes the problem is trans women though. They are no less dangerous than other men.

But you're right in the sense that you can't allow trans women access to women's spaces whilst keeping other men out. There's no way to tell the difference between the two.

Yes that is true, I just think that it’s common for TRAs to argue that we assume all trans women are predators and that’s why we don’t want to share spaces with them, which then makes it easy to label us all as transphobic bigots and dismiss our concerns.

The problem is that TW are men, and men cannot be trusted.

Sharptonguedwoman · 25/05/2025 17:12

HangryLikeTheHulk · 24/05/2025 17:50

I think it’s up to the trans person to decide which option is safer for them, depending on the situation, venue, context and risk.

No, it's about what's safer for 51% of the population. Women.

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