We see (different) others as a threat where they threaten our own understanding of self/ identity.
I don't see anyone as a 'threat' unless they are doing something actually threatening, so it's not that. I am not 'scared' or 'hateful' of trans people - in fact, I don't know if I am trans myself or not, because I have no idea how to find out what my 'gender identity' is. And say I find out my gender identity is 'man' - does that 'match' or 'align' with female, or not? Is it only 'woman' that matches with female? Why? Isn't that a transphobic assumption?
I don't want to have surgery to change my body, but that's not trans. There are times in my life where it would absolutely benefit me to be the opposite sex - is that wanting to live as a man/male/whatever, however briefly? I don't know if I identify as a woman because no-one ever explains what that is! the nearest is 'it's complicated' - so I don't know if not understanding it means I am a woman or I'm not.
I'm perfectly happy in who I am - but I admit to getting incredibly frustrated at unthinking inferences gleaned from the fact that someone is male or female which is probably what underlies my need to unpack all of this.
You are a woman. You have a female body, you understand yourself to be female/ a woman and (presumably?) always have. Presumably you are recognised by others as being female/ a woman, etc. Nothing has change for you, your identity isn't under threat.
That's absolutely true that my identity isn't under threat - that's not the issue. I am concerned with, if I say I'm a woman, someone thinks I'm telling them I have a 'woman gender identity', and I'm unsure if that's true or not.
You've put 'female/a woman' as though they are interchangeable terms here, but you've made it clear you don't think they are, so it's partially true - I understand myself to be female, but 'a woman' - no, I've no idea, because you're telling me that a woman is a different thing from that.
But recognising trans people is to recognise diversity in sex/ gender. there are experiences of sex/gender that look different to yours. That doesn't make you any less you, it just means that some people are different to you.
I recognise trans people. I obviously understand there are experiences of sex/gender that look different from mine - that's why I'm so keen for people not to generalise. My desire for people to recognise the variance in sex - that your sex means nothing about you as a person, that you can be female and anything just as you can be male and anything - is what underlies my whole outlook!
There isn't only one way to be female/ a woman.
Can you describe a way to be a woman, then, that isn't to be female? If there are many of them, what is 'a way' and how would that manifest?
BTW Thanks for this, it's making a bit more sense than yesterday!