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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you are divorced…

31 replies

Whynort · 24/05/2025 11:30

(Just to say I’d rather not hear any stories of DV just as I’m hoping to get stories of where it’s not as clear cut, my apologies I just am not equipped right now to support anyone with these stories and I know they can trigger a lot of other readers too, again my apologies I just want to hear from those who have divorced from things such as other half’s unreasonable behaviour / mood swings / feeling unsupported)

How long were you married for before you knew the person wasn’t the one for you in the end and you knew you had to get out?

How long were you married for?

Was your life actually better after divorcing or does any part of you wish you’d stayed?

OP posts:
Levithecat · 24/05/2025 20:43

Married 10 years, together 18. When our second (last) child was born, so about 2 years before we actually separated. He was an alcoholic (in recovery for last two years).

I am so much happier divorced. Finances have been harder, but I am a better mum and a more joyful person than I could be with him.

squashedalmondcroissant · 24/05/2025 20:42

We were together for 8yrs married for 7. Been divorced 12yrs. Not for one second have I regretted it!

In retrospect I think we got married and had kids way too young. He was too selfish and unwilling to change and I wasn’t strong enough to confront him when there were problems and I wasn’t happy. I stayed probably 7yrs too long, but I wanted to make it work because we had kids and were married and I took that seriously.

The red flags were there that we weren’t compatible but I only saw the good and I loved being loved.

CreteBound · 24/05/2025 20:22

@LillieLoo ah but he’d be a middle aged grumpy bloke by now! Driving you mad.

LillieLoo · 24/05/2025 20:21

I regret my divorce. We should have tried harder and waited a while after separation before divorcing, longer than two years you need to.

I am 50 this year, have been divorced 15 years and I still miss him. On top of that, I’m lonely and I can’t see myself meeting anyone else now.

Divorce in haste, repent at leisure.

Lovelycupofcoffee · 24/05/2025 20:09

So I was married 7 years . I do look back and think was he really that bad. I think I got married way too young which didn’t help. Some of the men I’ve met since getting divorced make me think I’d never bother getting married again .

Whynort · 24/05/2025 11:47

Bumps

OP posts: