If you are divorced…

First time - married 11 years. Got married because I was pregnant. I knew after the first couple of years really but continued because he wasn't a bad man and I didn't want to hurt him - plus he was a good dad and I didn't want to hurt the children.

Second time, married 10 years. I knew within 3 years but was determined not to let everyone know I had made another mistake.

Now on my third (and last) marriage. We were together for ten years before getting married and it wasn't anything I had ever intended to do again. Now been together for 19 years and I know we will be together until one of us dies. We adore each other.

We married very young. For 7 years. Zero regrets. I now have a beautiful family.

Together 9 years, married nearly 8. In hindsight we should never have got married, I knew I didn't love him, I was so traumatised because I knew it wasn't going to be forever, I'd tried to end the relationship before the wedding, but he gaslighted me into marrying him, I still can't remember the wedding, everything from getting into the car to arriving at the reception is a blank, my mind won't allow me to remember it. The only good thing to come from our marriage is ds, I have never regretted him. I've been divorced 15 years, I was 44 when we split up, I had a 5 year relationship since but my late dp sadly died 10 years ago, I often wonder what would have happened if I had met him instead of exh, I think we would have lasted much longer, if not forever.

XH1: 12 years. Stuck with it for far too long. We had a lot in common: we were both in love with him! He was conceited, violent, unfaithful and a bit of a dickhead.

I went off to do my own thing and had some really great years, but stupidly did not force the sale of our house. I let him pay me off in instalments and definitely came off worse financially.

XH2: What a fiasco. No idea why I married him; we were incompatible in every way except sexually. He was horrid and I was miserable. Stuck at it for 18 months and got the decree absolute in year 3.

My life definitely didn't improve after that one (though it's obviously nice not to be in the middle of a row all the time). He bullied me financially, I over-extended myself to buy a flat with no money, and tons of other shit went wrong for me at the same time.

I don't regret either divorce - I regret the marriages!

Married 6 years, together 10. I clung on for the sake of the kids despite his cheating etc
when we finally split the relief was immense . Then followed some if the best years of my life , single and free of the stress and worry that the marriage brought .
I then met my now DH and everything clicked into place . There is definitely happiness after divorce but I truly think you need to be happy on your own before you can consider another partner . I’m on great terms with my ex DH so alls well that ends well

Together 20 years, married 15, nearly 10 years apart now and I have zero regrets. I grew up, he didn't. He's shown his true colours now in recent years and the adult kids have disowned him. Meanwhile, I'm financially and emotionally healthier.

We were together 17 yrs married for 14 when I finally had enough and told him to go back to his girlfriend. It was said in anger as all he would talk about was this one woman from work. Guess where he moved in that night??? He still denys he was having an affair, she was just a good friend that had a spare bed when I told him to leave. I'm glad I did as I wouldn't have met my now partner but I thought we were just going through a rough patch and would come out the other side as we had been thru so much to let an argument split us up.

Married eight years. I don't regret it at all. Another one who abandoned his kids! Just disappeared into the ether and blocked them from contacting him. Haven't heard from him in years.
But I'm not divorced because I have no idea where he is.

Together 11 years. Married 2. I don’t regret the divorce one bit. He’s abandoned our children and I’m a single, sole parent but I absolutely made the right decision for myself and for my children. Life now has its up and downs but I’m happier without him. I can see with distance that he was poison and made everything worse.

Married 7 years, together 12 but waited another 6 years trying to make it work before giving up. I don't regret marrying him or having kids with him, he was the one, he just wasn't prepared to put in the emotional work or fight for the marriage. Yes life is brilliant post divorce and I'm much happier now. Wasn't easy, lots of grieving and tough times involved. I would be a shell of a person if I was still married to him.

I realized about 7 years in. We were married for 24 years. I have never regretted my divorce, I wish I had done it sooner.

What a great post, This is very similar to my situation

Married for thirty six happy, contented years (or so I thought), finally financially comfortable (inheritance) when he decided that the grass was greener elsewhere and buggered off with a woman he had only known a few months. He behaved so atrociously that once some time had passed, my children and I realised we were all happier without him and never looked back.

Married 5 years separated 6. So happy now!!! No regrets,,,

Together for 13 years married for 11. He walked out when I had a serious illness. He just couldn't deal with it. Also turned out he'd been having an affair for the previous 5 months,with the sister of one of his work colleagues the whole time I was ill. He also left me with thousands of pounds worth of debt,mainly rent on our council flat that I discovered that he hadn't been paying for months (he was the sole earner,I'd been a stay at home mum),also car finance, council tax and various store cards that he'd taken out with no intention of repaying. So not only was I trying to recover from a serious illness,I also had all his financial shit to deal with,with bailiffs at the door and letters from debt collectors. Although I was seriously gutted about the whole thing at the time,I now think he did me a massive favour. 30 years on,I can't imagine a life with him now.

Husband number 1, 8 years. Divorced due to domestic violence, all round shit show. Divorce was hideous, took 5 years. Endless court hearings and custody battle. I eventually got 100% custody with no visitation rights for him. No regrets whatsoever just angry the courts let us go through that for so long.
Number 2 death by 1000 cuts. He stopped working after marriage, devoted 100% of his time on his variety of hobbies, wasted money and racked up debt, sex pest, sulker. This marriage lasted 20 years and he left for someone else then got dumped and wanted to come back. I said no.
He tried to fleece me but got nothing as I'd earned it all before I met him. I paid for a shit hot divorce solicitor, two visits only and acted on his advice. Got shot of him pretty quick.
I was devastated as he'd worked on me love bombing and gaslighted and I didn't know what I was doing anymore.
I've since had comprehensive counselling to work through why I always choose useless men and have decided not to get married again. I'm just not prepared to lose everything I've worked for on a bad choice. If someone loves me they will have to accept this as a condition of our relationship.
My DS will get my house and money nobody else.

I got married at 19 to a man 17 years older. 2 children and 7 years married. I should have divorced him sooner, I knew years before I finally had the balls to leave that it wasn’t a good relationship but I was holding on to hope. I divorced him on grounds of unreasonable behavior. My life is far better without him (I’m now 8 years on) and have no regrets about telling him to leave (or rather when he said as he did many times if you don’t like it I’ll leave and one day I said yes, go on then he didn’t know what to do lol)

Married in total 18 years, but knew it wasn't right quite early on but was pregnant so tried to make a go of it.

Life was infinitely better within days of him moving out, even the DC say so as he is not an easy man to live with.

10 years on the DCs have a good, if distant, relationship with XH, I have no contact with XH other than if we are in the same place for the DC - eg 21st birthday party / graduation etc and we can be civil.

XH is about to inherit a 7 figure sum and despite the fact that I am in a low paid job with a huge mortgage in my 50s, I would still rather be with DH than back with XH.

Together 11 years, married 6.
No I don’t regret the divorce and life is definitely more interesting and fulfilling now. We were stuck in a rut and the sex had gone but we were good friends, made a pretty good team and shared a similar mindset on life. We could have drifted through life together steadily enough but sexual incompatibility is a big problem when you are only in your mid thirties.
I do sometimes miss the company and having that default person to share life with but luckily I have other good friends without the complications and I have a far more active and interesting life now making the effort to workout and travel instead of the rut of takeaways and tv!

Heheheh! You’re right, you’re right! He would be! I think I’m just having a bad day!

Thank you x

I was married 8 years, together for 12 years. We changed, it happens....

Lasted 10.5 years but should never have married him.

7 years it got worse and I tried everything as didn’t want to have any regrets for when I left.

He wasn’t trying and thought we were in it for life, when I left he was full of regret and bombarding me with messages, but I was done.

I left with no regrets, I don’t miss him at all, I just wish I had left sooner.

A year. I knew he was lying, but it took another 15 months for me to leave as I was a new mum and terrified.

I should have divorced 9 years before I did, but then I wouldn’t have my child so that was the price for an Angel DC

17 years, I should have left sooner.
He was controlling and I was constantly walking on eggshells. He eventually cheated.

I met my current dh shortly after we split. We have been married 20 years and have 2 kids.
Life is so much better. I can be me again!