AIBU to think this is bullying?

I guessed you were a teacher as soon as I read your post! Teachers can get really arsey when their colleagues are off sick. It always has a negative impact on others in terms of setting work, marking, and even taking on additional classes. Your HOD is being unreasonable if your period of sickness was unavoidable. Unfortunately there are a fair few teachers who take the piss and stay off till their pay goes down to half pay then miraculously return at the six month mark.

My boss didn’t contact me once to ask if I was ok. All communication was through HR.

I've seen loads of posts on the Exit the classroom, leave teaching and thrive Facebook group where people are off sick and refusing to speak to anyone at the school and loads of replies telling them that's fine and to go through HR if anyone wants contact!

It's odd you have not bothered to go and speak to your boss either since you've been back at work but have concluded they are probably bullying you??

Based on this post, I'd be worried about saying anything to the OP and would be staying well clear aswell. It sounds as though OP is spoiling for an issue and some form of complaint.

You've had no negative interactions, yet you think she is bullying you? Sorry but you sound like a complainer. Maybe she sees this in you too, so she's avoiding you a bit because she's worried you'd run to a manager to complain about her for piling on work or making you take on too much too soon.

Sorry for the jump, but you haven't given many details, so i may be adding 2 and 2 and getting 7.

I don't know your workplace culture, but your HR sound rather OTT in my experience. It's possible that she has the slightest of ideas about what has been going on with your absence, that she may be wondering if she's done something wrong and doesn't have anyone to ask.... with what sounds like a very controlling HR body, it actually sounds rather hard to "manage". Wherever I have worked, the things you describe them doing are a managers job, and any HR involvment would be advisory if required. HR involvement at that degree would have indicated a grievance against the manager or something else quite serious.

Just saying - she may be scared of you!

Could have been a primary school.

So all the practical matters realting to absence are done by HR and not managers, and you have no need of her in terms of doing your job. So what is it that you want from her? It might be nice if she was chatty etc., but it isn't required, and it certainly isn't bullying. Since there is such a strong HR involvement (which isn't the case in many places) perhaps they tell managers to stay out of such things?

It could just as easily be put that you came back to work and didn't "pop in" to say you are back, how's things, anything you needed to be aware of etc. It takes two to ignore each other. If you haven't seen or spoken to her you don't know what is happening in her world either. Parhaps she's on another thread saying her employee hasn't been to see her, HR never keep her in the loop, and she doesn't know what to do or whether she's done something wrong?

I am sorry that you are experiencing this. I don’t think people realise what a toxic environment schools are. Schools have a duty of care towards you and at the moment, through your HOD’s lack of communication, they are failing you.

In your shoes, OP, I would probably ask for a meeting (by email) to discuss x, y, z and see how she responds or if she responds at all. I think it’s important in situations like this to have paper trail, unfortunately.

What happens in team meetings when you ask her a question? Does she ignore you?

What happens when you email her and cc the rest of the dept about anything to do with the whole department ? Does she respond?

If you'd ever been bullied at work you wouldn't embarrass yourself by making such crass comments.

I don't see how this is bullying

That does seem strange. I'd really wonder what the point of your manager is.

I'm not sure it's bullying. Do you have any grounds for that, as is has she ignored substantive requests (rather than copying her in), affected your work or just not actively been in touch?

I get that you'd expect a back to work meeting. Also normal human acknowledgement is pretty standard but I don't know that it's bullying in itself.

Could be policy not to contact during sick leave and to manage that via HR.

Maybe try and schedule a meeting yourself then if not an informal call with HR to see what they advise? Not sure which is the better round to advise that but I'd try being proactive

By boss do you mean head of department or head teacher? Those are two different relationships.

Grow a pair and knock on her door and say hello. Bullying is a snowflake argument lot of nonsense.

if she's on this forum, she probably thing that is very wise 😂

Most of it is pretty reasonable, but completely ignoring emails is not right.

Sounds like poor management rather than bullying to me.