Intrusive thoughts - Anyone else?

I have GAD, and honestly this flared up for.me when my youngest was about 3, it tormented me, I honestly thought I was going mad and it meant I wanted to hurt her. I confided in my mum who didn't react in utter revulsion as I thought she might. She came with me to the gp who explained they were intrusive thoughts and he referred me for counselling. I was then diagnosed with obsessional thinking, a form of OCD. I was told (over 20 years ago) that everyone has these random thoughts pop up in their minds, but they are subject consciously dismissed. To an OCD brain though, they are 'caught' and we then try to analysis them, them panic over them which gives them more strength. I was told to let the thoughts come into my mind, and let them pass. The less 'thought'i give them, the less power they have. I still get them now but they don't trouble me at all anymore. It was debilitating at the time though so you have my every sympathy

I have this every day and have done for decades since I was a child. I had a traumatic childhood and continue to have traumatic things happen to me due to a visible disability that results in me sometimes being verbally abused by complete strangers. Due to this, I'm hyper vigilant when I go out, even when bad things don't happen. I've recently opened up to my GP and I've been referred to Talking Therapies. I'm on anti depressants that help with my mood but every single day I visualise scenarios in my mind of bad things happening to me or my loved ones or imagine confrontations with people. I long to have a quiet mind.

@Pegsmum

really great that you spoke to your GP and they were able to help you.

ive been on Citalopram for anxiety for maybe 15 years now - my intrusive thoughts have all but vanished.

to anyone reading this thread and living in terror and anguish about this horrible, horrible condition - it’s not you, you’re not a monster, and there is a lot of help out there.

Yes I get these and they have worsened since grandchildren were born. I recently told my GP about the thoughts I have and images I can see in my mind. She said they were intrusive thoughts and caused by anxiety.
I’m going to have a read about Pure-O part pf OCD.

It’s good to hear that anxiety meds help you with this. I’ve often thought about seeing the GP and asking for anxiety medication rather than continually managing my anxiety myself, but I never have.
I hadn’t heard of the ‘Pure O’ part of OCD until this thread. It has been very helpful to read. 😊

I understand,

my general anxiety medication helps me immeasurably, as did the counselling it had when I was in the thick of it.

there’s so much more known about it now. I found being able to put a name to it was so helpful.

I was on medication years ago when I first had it (although wasn’t honest about what was going on due to fear my son would be removed from me). I haven’t had any medication for it since. I don’t have grandchildren yet but even now i
am fearful of it returning, which I fully expect it to.

@moderndilemma

i hope you can get some comfort from the thread.

One of ‘Pure-O’s elements is that that the thoughts are often the exact opposite of your core values… so if you’re a fiercely loyal, protective person, the thoughts could be around hurting the ones you love the most.

Then you get into an awful cycle of fear, horror, revulsion, because the ‘real you’ part of your brain rejects the thoughts so strongly,

please don’t suffer in silence. This is so treatable and more common than you know.

Gosh - Thank you for posting this. I've had 'horrible thoughts' since I was a teenager.

The 'pure O' makes so much sense to me. Most people around me would think I was chilled and relaxed - because they can't see inside my head. Those close to me see my extreme vertigo or acrophobia, or dental phobia but now I can see how it might link

@FavouritePJs

I’m so sorry this affects you badly. having been there, I really sympathise.

Have you tried medication?

It’s not coincidence how many of us find the thoughts worsen when children/grandchildren are born. It’s our brains trying to get our attention using the things it knows we would protect the most.

I’m be of my adult kids had had this since childhood. Diagnosed as OCD quite early in the piece.

I’ve had them since my son was young, he’s 35 now so a long time. Eventually they calmed down to a manageable level with long periods of being fine, but reared their ugly head when my daughter was born 18 years ago. It’s made me so ill living with such utter terror. I did have some therapy a few years ago but when it happens it still affects me in the same way. I am a highly anxious person and understand it’s the pure O form of OCD but in the throes of it I just feel like a freak and full of shame. I asked my psychologist if she would trust me with her children and she said, absolutely, you’d be one of the safest people to leave them with.

My daughter (31) has awful intrusive thoughts which are linked to severe OCD. For example, if she doesn't shower in the 'correct' order, she imagines a man standing behind the curtain, holding one of the children's heads. Since getting a proper OCD/BPD diagnosis, she had tried a few counsellors. The latest has been amazing - kind, funny, understanding. He has given her management techniques. It won't go away, and the jars in the fridge still face the same way, but she is considerably better and is doing well. OCD is really tough and is a million miles away from checking you turned off the oven.
See your GP. Good luck.

Thank you ❤️ I appreciate how very fortunate I am to have her.

I went to the GP and with the OCD diagnosis, they pushed for CBT with a trusted therapist. It was very helpful. Have you seen a GP yet OP?
Hugs to you 🫂

My Dp died suddenly many years ago in a train crash, I think the realisation that awful things can and do happen to anyone is what instigated the intrusive thoughts.

They got bad again when I was peri-menopausal, hrt really helped.

I also put down my fear of heights to intrusive thoughts, I always imagine myself either suddenly jumping, or pushing somebody off anywhere high.

I do think they are very common. When I get the thoughts where I am the one doing something awful, I just remind myself that they are just thoughts, and the reason I am horrified is because I am a good person and I know I would never act on them.

I know it sounds trite and takes practice, but I like Pahla B's (exercise for women over 50 on YouTube): "Ask yourself, is this a helpful thought? And if the answer is No. Stop thinking it."

I have them occasionally. I asked some friends and they do too. Sometimes feel guilty as there is no logical reason for them. I think they have been more frequent since complicated loss of a loved one. Like the sentence AuntieLemonade said that, 'thoughts are not facts'. Wise words. Be kind to yourself.

@MyBigBoots

what a lovely mum you have - how wonderful to have been able to trust her with that and how she comforted you. That’s very special 💕💕

It’s a horrible illness when it’s acute - I had it when both my children were babies - probably post natal related Pure-O that I didn’t recognise at the time.

i had treatment, and since then have been treated for General Anxiety Disorder long term.

ive been on Citalopram for as long as I can remember and no longer get those awful, debilitating intrusive thoughts at all.

you have my sympathies, OP - please speak to your doctor, it’s very common.

Intrusive thoughts are hard to live with but can be successfully addressed (but can come and go).
Read up on OCD - pure O, see if it resonates.

My lovely cousin's wife suffers from intrusive thought and dreams and she was fiagnosedwith OCD. I hope you can find the help and support you need, OP.

I had these for years and they’re when I don’t feel ‘safe’ in a relationship. They’ve come back a bit recently with peri-menopause and the associated anxiety, but I’m much better at witnessing my thoughts now rather than falling into the so to speak x

“Thoughts are not facts” is a good mantra. Take comfort in the distress - if you really wanted these things to happen you’d enjoy thinking them. Thinking something is it the same as doing it (thought/action fusion). “Dropping the baby and other scary thoughts” is a great book for pregnancy and new parenting (and grand parenting) intrusive thoughts.

I heard it could be linked to ADHD (I haven't been diagnosed with that), but it could be a factor?
I get them, always have done. Reminded me of the flashbacks of evil/funny outcomes on Ally McBeal when I was younger.
It got worse in my 30s.
Then, I was diagnosed with OCD when my DS was born and I honestly believe it's linked to increased stress, as I would catastrophise the worst possible outcome.
It might be so that you can weirdly feel prepared, like the saying 'prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.'
I can not control it, but that's how I know I need to get my stress levels under control. Like my own built in barometer.

Hugs to you. 🫂