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AIBU?

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Friend putting foot in it with DH by repeating my concerns with sex life

154 replies

Halo25 · 24/05/2025 08:46

Am I right to feel a bit pissed off here? I had a friend round last night for dinner (DH was out for a team meal). We had a couple of drinks and I confided in her that we were having a bit of a challenge with intimacy recently (in that it’s infrequent for a few reasons) but nothing that I didn’t think could be solved.

DH joined us briefly when he returned, I’m sure he’d have wanted to go straight to bed but out of politeness had a quick chat with my friend etc.

My friend brashly turns to him and says ‘you need to start giving her what she deserves or there’ll be a queue of men that will. Look at her, I’m surprised you don’t want to jump on her every night’. DH awkwardly laughed and made his excuses to go to bed.

I was horrified - my friend was drunk but for me has crossed a line. DH is furious with me for ‘oversharing’ despite my repeated apologies.

I’ve not contacted my friend yet today - would you read the riot act?

OP posts:
Howcloseisburnout · 24/05/2025 08:54

Nah she was probably just drunk and won’t have realised the impact.

Never say anything that you don’t want repeated 🤷🏼‍♀️

TasWair · 24/05/2025 08:51

She knew exactly what she was doing. Frienemy.

WimpoleHat · 24/05/2025 08:51

She was out of order for repeating what you said - but under most circumstances, I’d think you were unreasonable for telling her what you did. It’s a bit different from your younger days when you might discuss dates you’ve had with friends, I think - intimacy within a marriage is a very personal thing. I’m sure you’d have been horrified if he’d said something similar to one of his colleagues at dinner, or to a mate down the pub. But yes - I would be furious with your friend and I’d be very, very careful about telling her anything personal again!

LikeARacoonOnMeth · 24/05/2025 08:50

Why on earth did you tell her?
I’d be furious if DH discussed our sex life with his mates.

Turn this around and everyone would be telling the woman their DH was out of order to share with his mates (there have been several such threads recently too)

So, no, I wouldn’t read her the riot act. I think this is on you tbh, you overshared and she was drunk. If you hadn’t told her she couldn’t have blabbed.

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