Friend putting foot in it with DH by repeating my concerns with sex life

Wow! Glad I’m not friends with you guys!

sounds like it was meant light heartedly tbh, his reaction sounds like it’s triggered a nerve. Girls talk, boys talk. Everyone talks after one too many drinks

She’s massively overstepped and made herself untrustworthy of being your friend. So sorry :(

I agree that she knew what she was doing by saying that. Also, I would be furious if my DH was talking about our sex life.

If the OP is unable to talk to her friend then who should she talk to?? This friend has been rubbish I agree but I have been married for 15 years, 10 of them rubbish and I never spoke to anyone about it but I have in the last year because I can’t cope any more!

So you'd be happy with your DH to discuss every aspect of your sex life or lack of it with his friends and has OP has done with her friend blame you for it all to the point that they said "give him sex or he'll leave you?"

I clicked you are being unreasonable, because I don't think you should have told her! It's your personal intimate life! How would you feel if DH was discussing with his friends? I'm sure you wouldn't like it.

This is your fault not your friends! You were talking about yours and your husband's sex life behind his back!!
You're just pissed off with your friend because she's outted you!

How would you like it if your husband was saying to his friends "my wife doesn't have sex with me anymore because she's ......." And then his friends say to you "why aren't you jumping on him at every chance?"

It’s sad how many on here wouldn’t chat to their friends about relationship concerns. Granted her friend was a dick but she didn’t know that. We should be able to chat to our friends in confidence for advice about this stuff

Sorry dh, I won’t be sharing anything personal with her again

Its reasonable you confided in her but she is not your pal...

I agree! My close friends and I discuss details of our marriages and find it very helpful and therapeutic. My husband knows that we talk about these things and probably doesn’t love it but he’s perfectly fine with it as he sees the benefit of it (and I wish he had friends to perform the same function for him, honestly. He really gets all of his emotional support from me and it’s exhausting!)

It seems to me this is an example of another "double standard" on here. I can't think of any of my friends who would be happy if their husband/partner talked about their sex lives with his mates.

The issue here is the friend humiliating the OP's husband.

Loyalty to my husband would mean I would be apoplectic at her AND myself, for my lack of judgement in telling her.

But thankfully I don't know anyone who would be so crass as to behave like that, certainly not any close friend.

I don't think there's anything wrong with discussing relationship issues with a friend, it's unhealthy to keep these things to yourself sometimes and I think it's normal to seek advice from those you trust.

your friend sounds like a dick though so you chose the wrong person to confide in.

Maybe yours is. Mine isn't. I outgrew that oversharing thing years ago. My DH would be so hurt. DH's friends do NOT want to know anyway!

Well it's done now, you know not to tell her anything else that's sensitive.

It's an opportunity to open the conversation with your bloke though. Stop apologising. I hate it when people make you do that.

Of course women can confide in a close friend! The OP wasn’t in the pub regaling friends with ‘hilarious’ tales of her partners sexual performance! I’d be quite happy if a partner had struggles around intimacy for him to confide in a close friend. I’d hope he might receive some good advice or support. Are people really advocating someone should never speak about their sex life in a serious, respectful, one on one way to a close confidant. Just suffer in silence, muddling through if there’s a problem. The 1950’s called and wants its attitude back.

Your friend was bang out of order. This would be a line crossed which I doubt there’d be any coming back from for me. Anyone with a modicum of sense knows you don’t break a confidence in this way.

The friend shouldn’t of said anything but she was drunk, why trust someone when they are drunk? It’s on you for telling her

No not when we're young, when we're adults and married. That is how married life is.

Maybe he's fine with it and just didn't want a telling off from the friend

No...some women might do that. Many others absolutely do not.

Sex and the City is not real life. Certainly not across the board.

Yeah, when you're all young and nothing is that serious. Not when you're married/cohabiting/have kids/all socialise together, at least not in the same way

Why wouldn't she? Women discuss our sex lives with our girlfriends. That's what girlfriends are for!!

I think this is a real possibility.
I just don't buy it that a real friend drops you in it like that.

Someone who doesn't wish you well would fo it.

Awful that you discussed your private life of your husband with her.

You should never tell a friend anything ghat you would never want repeated.

You need to read the riot act to yourself and put yourself in your husbands shoes.

Imagine if one of his friends had left you feeling humiliated?