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AIBU?

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Full Bush or Shaven Haven?

208 replies

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 00:07

Been on a work training /away day today.
Largely female dominated professional (children’s social care)
As usual in the down time amidst all the doom n gloom of the days agenda me and colleagues get into the really important, off the record team bonding stuff - OLD, step kids, menopause, weightloss jabs, difficult teens , GcSEs, holidays, moaning about the management etc etc .
Two colleagues got into the subject of pubic hair removal (as you do in market town village hall on a Friday afternoon) as one felt strongly that the act of removing pubic hair is deeply anti- feminist. Fair point I guess.

She got lots of push back from the shaven havens, landing strippers, and trim triangle havers. Only one other person said they are au natural but caveated that with not currently in a relationship nor looking.
She went onto suggest that while for young males this is probably a natural expectation in a partner due to socialisation via pornograpgy, any man of ‘our age’ ( 40s/50s) who wouldn’t be averse to a hairless minge is virtually paedophile adjacent!!
I thought that was a bit strong to be honest.
Did get me thinking though.
I’m completely in the shaven haven camp, personally - Much prefer it. I believe I’m still a feminist though.
I go swimming most mornings and in the open changing room it occurred to me that not seen a full bush in years.

OP posts:
Jujujudo · 24/05/2025 08:58

Why you would want to look like a pre pubescent girl is beyond me. Seriously? People remove ALL their picnic hair? I trim and get rid of the stuff that hangs out - but I still have hair there! I’ve never had a man tell me to shave it or get rid of it! What’s wrong with hair?

ClearHoldBuild · 24/05/2025 08:58

There’s no way I would discuss pubic hair or lack of on a work training course. I think I would have looked to shut the conversation down actually. Wholly inappropriate topic to discuss with colleagues.

User656463 · 24/05/2025 08:57

Yeah, OP. Interesting time of day to start a thread about women’s pubic hair.

DancingLions · 24/05/2025 08:56

Re the pre pubescent comments. I’m not judging what anyone else does or doesn’t do. But for me personally, when I tried it once, that’s how it looked to me on my own body and I didn’t like it. Maybe the people that make those comments do so for that reason. It’s just a personal opinion.

I don’t like men totally shaved down there either. Man parts aren’t particularly attractive so I like some camouflage 😂

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:56

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:55

Ah, sadly for you it’s the banal ‘waffle’ that alleviates working in a high stress, high accountability, case holding environment.
And if women left the service there would be no service. So the patriarchy best not worry it’s pretty head about our ‘waffling’ and jog on.

Sorry that was meant for @ Swanlame
x

OP posts:
Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:55

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 07:24

Still not making any sense here, lad

Ah, sadly for you it’s the banal ‘waffle’ that alleviates working in a high stress, high accountability, case holding environment.
And if women left the service there would be no service. So the patriarchy best not worry it’s pretty head about our ‘waffling’ and jog on.

OP posts:
Ladamesansmerci · 24/05/2025 08:52

In the UK, I do think there is no reason other than patriarchal pressure to shave, and that goes for all body areas.

My wife (I'm gay) said when she was in Japan, she was started at for being shaved, as the girls there all had a full bush; so there is a cultural element too.

But shaving IS a feminist issue. I shave my legs/arm pits etc, and it's fine to shave obviously, but let's not pretend that we don't do this due to societal pressure (societal pressure which is a direct result of pandering to men). Women with arm pit hair or etc will still be stared at, or receive comments. Like no one enjoys shaving do they 😂 it's a bloody chore, but I'm not quite brave enough to endure the looks for having hairy pits.

Edit: I'm baffled by people finding this thread disturbing. To me this is the same as discussing periods or something. Shaving is predominantly a woman's issue! There is also nothing shameful about pubic hair.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:51

Crikey with me and my friends/work colleagues no topic off limits/ high and low brow.
I stayed on a teams meeting the other day (after it had finished obvs!) where we started chatting about the the recently disgraced anti- semite and luxury belief peddler Gary knob head Linekar, but by the end it descended into which footballer you would most like to shag. ( Beckham or Ian Wright for me)

OP posts:
Littledidsheknow · 24/05/2025 08:47

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 07:31

You know what your adult daughters have their intimate body hair like? WTAF
this thread is so fucking disturbing

Eh? How?
I know one of my DDs leaves all her body hair: she complains about the expectation on women to remove it, and says she doesn’t remove anything.

Other DD I wild swim with, so we’re getting changed together, with other women.

What’s grim about that?

StarlightLady · 24/05/2025 08:47

WaltzingWaters · 24/05/2025 06:54

My fiancé does trim, yes. As do I. Neither of us want to be constantly plucking stray hairs from our mouth whilst giving oral.

Also, it’s itchy and hot when I do get lazy about things!

I do!

Plus l’ve shaved a few men in my time.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:45

Swanlame · 24/05/2025 06:47

Call me old fashioned but I’d rather those working in ‘children’s social care’ maybe not be spending hours discussing their pubic hair? Bit fucking weird.

Ha!
Its the downtime, the humour, the filthy/banal chats and the dark/gallows humour that build the camaraderie and gets you though the week luv!

Without that we’d all go around the twist. (And do something else for less hours and more dosh)

OP posts:
Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:41

EmpressaurusKitty · 24/05/2025 06:33

Shaven haven is a really creepy phrase.

Sort of meant to be lighthearted and flippant not creepy.

OP posts:
NOTANUM · 24/05/2025 08:41

Still, if it does come up, I do like to mention how originally people did it to get rid of lice. And that public luce are becoming endangered because of the lack of habitat these days. It's just the sort of conversation to get someone in the mood.
@EBearhug 😂

PizzaSophiaLoren · 24/05/2025 08:41

Ahsheeit · 24/05/2025 00:31

Generally can't be arsed and call the council once a year when it gets out of control 😉

Brilliant!

I also heard a full bush being called “the full English” on here.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:40

Velmy · 24/05/2025 01:32

And in answer to OPs question, I can't abide mine being anything other than smooth as Kojak's head.

I Raise you Yul Brinner …

OP posts:
hangingonfordearlife1 · 24/05/2025 08:39

ProudCat · 24/05/2025 06:32

I used to live in the middle east ... Hair doesn't 'trap' sweat, it facilitates it, and sweating is how the body regulates its temperature. In other words, shaving makes you hotter. Shower first thing, before nap, after nap, before dinner and before bed. Sweat only stinks when it's stale.

I don't shave, don't see it as a feminist issue, your body and your choice. However, see above re: hotter, have noticed over the years, including during menopause, that I seem to be generally really good at regulating body temperature. Friends who stopped shaving to see if that helped with hot flashes found it to be a positive move, also with switching from anti perspirant to deodorant.

Edited

yes have lived here 15 years so think we know best what works for our bodies by now

ThisUsernameIsNowTaken · 24/05/2025 08:39

I find the feminist argument really stupid. Why have most women in the UK got long hair on their heads? I'll tell you why - because it's the fashion / expected, so how liberated are we in that department? I shave mine (pubes) because the hair gets really itchy and also gross beyond a certain length, especially at my time of the month. It's certainly not my husband dictating how I look down there; in fact he wants me to grow a bush because I've not had one for so long and it would turn him on.

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:39

Bitchesbelike · 24/05/2025 00:51

None of your fucking business (or
anyone elses for that matter)

does anyone expect men to carry out topiary on their bodies?!

Loads blokes ‘manscape’
Ive got four sons - 3 remove all their chest hair.
Bloody shower always getting blocked!

OP posts:
MyOliveHelper · 24/05/2025 08:37

Mischance · 24/05/2025 08:35

It is a feminist issue. No woman should ever have to change her body to suit a man, especially when the wish to see shaven pubes is porn-driven. And you can't get anything more anti-feminist than porn.

Why do you assume they are shaving for a man? What about lesbians who shave?

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:36

EBearhug · 24/05/2025 01:37

She went onto suggest that while for young males this is probably a natural expectation in a partner due to socialisation via pornograpgy, any man of ‘our age’ ( 40s/50s) who wouldn’t be averse to a hairless minge is virtually paedophile adjacent!!

It is a feminist issue if you are doing it only for the benefit of men, or if it is an expectation through socialisation or porn.

I have never shaved my legs, though I have waxed them a few times, but usually I can't be bothered. I have sometimes wondered how my feminist principles would hold up in this matter if I weren't naturally pretty sparse of hair. No one has yet run screaming from the swimming pool as a result.

I have shaved sometimes, with a strip left, because I like how it feels, particularly if they're going down on me. But quite often, I can't be bothered. I am early 50s and have dated a few men in the last few years. Some have strong preferences, others don't. Whether I pander to those preferences depends more on me than them. I prefer them to be trimmed, but it's not essential.

Girls at school talked about shaving their legs, but I don't think I'd heard of shaving public hair till I was an adult, and I think thr first time was in the context of thr risk of HIV if you cut yourself (it was the time of the AIDS epidemic.) I don't know if I'd have ever thought about it without porn, even if it's not an overt influence.

Still, if it does come up, I do like to mention how originally people did it to get rid of lice. And that public luce are becoming endangered because of the lack of habitat these days. It's just the sort of conversation to get someone in the mood.

🤭😆

OP posts:
Mischance · 24/05/2025 08:35

It is a feminist issue. No woman should ever have to change her body to suit a man, especially when the wish to see shaven pubes is porn-driven. And you can't get anything more anti-feminist than porn.

EleanorReally · 24/05/2025 08:34

is no one else doing No Mow May?

Lardychops · 24/05/2025 08:34

StarlightLady · 24/05/2025 05:30

Proud feminist in my 40s here. I have a full Hollywood wax every 4 weeks. Looking at myself in a mirror l can’t remember what l looked like with pubic hair (with the exception of a little regrowth), it’s less sweaty and l think looks better. For the same reason l remove my underarm hair. Feminist can go for what they think looks better too.

As for the usual arguments.

  1. Pre-pubescent look. The same could be said for leg and underarm hair removal. And men who shave their faces.
  2. All porn inspired. Epilation was a feature offered in Ancient Rome and Ancient Greek bathhouses, it’s nothing new.
  3. Panders to men. I know lesbians who sport a Hollywood. I’ve also been asked by some men over the years to grow it.
  4. It is there for a reason. The human body was not designed, it evolved. In some instances very badly.

Finally it’s an individual choice which has no impact on anyone else, but whether l sport a bush or not does not make me any more or any less a feminist.

Great post

OP posts:
HangingOver · 24/05/2025 08:33

Ahsheeit · 24/05/2025 00:31

Generally can't be arsed and call the council once a year when it gets out of control 😉

HAhAHAHA

MsPug · 24/05/2025 08:32

YankSplaining · 24/05/2025 01:11

I’m a bisexual woman who’s not in a relationship with a woman, but yeah, I agree. Hairless vulvas make me flash back to changing my daughters’ diapers. 😱

Edited

Right that's just weird

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