MIL guilt tripping me for divorcing husband when he might lose his job

If she continues like this l think l’d go all out OP - make sure she has the whole story and not just what he’s chosen to tell her. Then tell her that she’s welcome to ‘fight his corner’ if she wants, but that you’re done. Then block and ignore.

So has a drink problem! He know he’s a twat when he drinks, so clearly needs to grow up and stop drinking!

It is if you know how to use it properly.

Agree. And even if he’s diagnosed, alcoholism itself isn’t a disability - it’s not covered by the Equality Act unless it’s caused long term physical or mental damage which have an effect on normal daily activities.

Sounds like his alcohol problem is that he can’t control his mouth when he’s had it !! That’s not the firm’s problem - they have the employees he’s targeting to think of. And alcoholism itself is not a disability. It’s not covered by the Equality Act unless it’s caused physical or mental impairment that meets the definition of disability - which is a substantial and long-term adverse effect on normal daily activities. So no. He’s not disabled - just an arsehole who has put his job at risk one too many times and hopefully OP will now follow through and leave him.

OP I would ignore and block your MIL.
You don't owe her or anyone explanations of your life choices.
If you wish tell her you don't wish to discuss then drop communication.

You don't need to give her or anyone else in your OHs family any kind of detailed response- it would only add fuel to the fire as OH will put his own spin on things.

You already know he is likely not to have given her the full truth of his predicament. And you probably already know, especially if you have children of your own, that mothers tend to stick up for their offspring whatever the dispute.

So when she sends you a barrage of messages asking how you can be so cruel to do this, that’s your cue to send a detailed response listing your perfectly acceptable reasons to have done it.

Stand up for yourself OP. This is your time to tell her the truth. Don’t let her judge you on his half-truth, biased version of events.
Tell the truth to any family member who asks.

This isn’t true.

He’s not diagnosed though is he, if he was actively seeking help and approached them then maybe. But his sackable behaviour is not a symptom of alcoholism, it’s a symbol of him being a misogynist creep.

YABU for staying married to him for this long!

This!!

I come from a family of drinkers and smokers - recently discovered I have adhd, most likely they did too though they are now deceased from drinking and smoking diseases. Are there signs in his family, or in him -medication can reduce the likelihood of alcoholism

She’s probably worried she’ll end up with him.

You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. His mum, him or anyone.

He's been a dickhead again.

Probably best to block and ignore her, but if you fancy one last message then something like "Mavis, it's no longer the 1970s and women don't have to tolerate sexual harassment or demeaning comments any more. It's unacceptable for him to behave this way and to keep humiliating me into the bargain. For the record, in case he hasn't given you the full details, this is what he said to his colleague......."

She sounds like the sort of woman who will excuse her 'poor boy' any misdemeanour though. If she thinks it's acceptable and he needs supporting then she can have him back to do so.

He has obviously told his mum as I’ve had a barrage of messages tonight - I’m overreacting and heartless for kicking a man when he’s down, I should be fighting his corner, his workplace are pandering to the ‘modern worker’ whatever the hell that means.

your MIL is responsible for raising a son who sees nothing wrong in making sexist comments to female work colleagues such that he's had several warnings. She has enabled his behaviour and expects you to lower your standards by standing by your man and not telling him outright that he's a disgrace and you don't want to be married to a sleazeball.

Don't allow her to browbeat you into giving him your support. He's lowlife and you deserve better.

That is very different from what happened to OP's DH. He was already on a final warning for sexually harassing a co-worker before he posted an inappropriate comment, that was bad enough to get him fired, on a work WhatsApp group. This isn't people making a malicious accusation that isn't true. The evidence is there in black and white.

If my son was sacked due to sexual harassment, I'd be utterly ashamed. I certainly wouldn't blame the 'modern worker' who objected to being sexually harassed. As this guy was stupid enough to do this on a work WhatsApp group, it's not even a case of 'he said, she said', but an open and shut case.

Getting pissed on a work night out is not a disability.

Ah, the modern worker! Those unreasonable people who object to being sexually harassed at work by complete dickheads.

As well as being a sex pest, OP's husband sounds irredeemably thick to do this again when he was already on a final warning. Those are two reasons to leave him. His toxic mother is the third reason. What a dreadful family!

Can you go to HR and give your info?

The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree with this pair has it?

Just hear white noise from the pair of them from now and push ahead with the divorce. You laid out your terms, he's behaved as if you haven't. Imagine the feeling of freedom the day your absolute comes through!

@Chambers9 you can tell his mother, but whatever you decide to do, do not back down. You don’t need this man.

He can seek support if he wants, the employer can’t force him.

But until then, he faces the disciplinary and gets sacked.

Other employees do not need to put up with his nonsense.

Tell her. If she still thinks the same way just say he doesn’t need you because she is in his corner and is prepared to anything, even if it’s ridiculous, to justify his behaviour