MIL guilt tripping me for divorcing husband when he might lose his job

No I think OP has had enough and needs to do what is right for herself. I am just saying OPs husband could be undiagnosed. I am actually just thinking more generally about men who don’t seek help for MH. That if someone drinks knowing they behave out of character then they are being self destructive.

But to be considered a disability and afford him protected characteristics the alcohol consumption would have to have caused an actual physical or mental health condition which meets the definition of disability. Simply being under the influence of alcohol is not a disability.

AI v the equality act 😂

No it isn’t

There’s a Latin saying attributed to the Romans. ‘In vino veritas’. The literal translation is ‘ truth in wine’. It means that people under the influence of alcohol are more likely to be truthful about what’s on their mind. There was actually a belief among some ancient Germanic peoples that council meetings should be held during feasts where drinking was common so as to prevent the concealment of opinions. So rather than acting out of character, alcohol is more likely to bring out the true you.

So what are you actually saying? That OP's DH's employer was wrong to dismiss him or that OP is wrong to divorce him (or possibly both)?

OP's DH could take this to a tribunal but as addiction to alcohol or poor behaviour when drunk aren't protected characteristics under the Equality Act, it is unlikely that he will have a case, particularly as this is his second offence, both of which relate to his sexual harassment of female colleagues.

Eeew how gross he’s got his mum fighting his battles for him. I would send a really calm reply explaining what he’s done and said to his female colleagues and that it’s been hurtful to be disrespected so publicly. I very much doubt he’s told his mum exactly what he’s done.

It's none of her business; don't engage. If you have minor children with your soon-to-be ex, tell him as a precaution that once you've split up, contact for them with his family goes through him, not you. In any case, you're not divorcing him because he might be fired; his employer just took decisive action in response to his lying, boozing, harassing women, and making inappropriate remarks at roughly the same time you did.

... his workplace are pandering to the ‘modern worker’ whatever the hell that means. I suspect it means that they are acting as if people who are not straight, white, majority-group-ethnic men have rights.

The effects of alcohol vary greatly from person to person

This. There’s a world of difference between being disabled and just being a drunken mysoginistic arsehole. That’s why the Equality Act specifically excludes alcoholism and other addictions unless there is a specific medical cause or physical/mental effect. Otherwise every over indulgent twat in the country would be claiming reasonable adjustment for turning up to work drunk or hung over !!

but not everyone behaves out of character when drinking. Even if inhibitions lowered.

He could be undiagnosed, men are known not to seek help for MH problems, but drink to feel better. some people behave out of character when drinking.

How about they’re just idiots?

There is no medical issue in many - probably most - cases - just stupid behaviour, often due to lack of consequences when they were teens.

Some people on here will always bend over backwards to try and absolve shitty men from any blame for their actions.

OP has said he doesn’t have a drinking problem. Just that he acts like an idiot when he’s drunk. Some people just can’t handle drink. That’s not a health condition and doesn’t need to be diagnosed or medicalised.

I was thinking that as well.

This situation probably goes a long way to explaining why he behaves like he does. Mummy makes excuses for him and it’s always someone else’s fault.

If you parent DC like that, this is highly likely to happen. Mine got a bollocking when they behaved badly - and as a result they rarely behave badly. They were taught/are being taught that I will not save them from stupidity at university- if they’re kicked out, that’s it. Drug use, inappropriate comments - they will have to face the consequences. But I’ve seen plenty of students in 30 plus years who think their parents will sort it all out for them.

Loads of people turn into twats when they drink as their inhibitions are lowered. It's not a protected characteristic that would absolve the OP's husband from blame and the consequences of his shitty actions.

Tell her the full story and that you're under no obligation to support his "woe is me" idiocy.

Alcoholism and other addictions are specifically excluded from the Act unless their effects have caused physical or mental impairment which meets the Act’s definition of disability. Simply being incapacitated due to the consumption of alcohol or drugs is not covered by the Act. The only exception is where there is addiction as result of medical treatment, for example, an addiction to painkillers after surgery, or medication for mental health conditions.

I would tell her what her precious son has done and that you warned him last time you won’t put up with his bullshit. Then block

Oh just block her. My XH kicked the shit out of me and his mother still thought I was “being ridiculous” wanting a divorce.

She is nothing to you going forward. If you have DC then STBXH can facilitate a relationship with her.

Focus on getting legal advice and move on. He sounds grim.

Some people act very out of character when drinking , Those people simply shouldn’t drink at all - and if they continue to do so then surely they must have an undiagnosed problem?!

I worked with the Equality Act 2010 in a workplace context from its inception, so my information is from experience, not AI. No illness or health condition is treated as a disability unless it meets the conditions defined by the Act. So to be considered a disability any condition has to be long term (likely to last a year or more) and have a significant physical or mental impact on normal daily activities. Alcoholism in itself is not specifically covered by the Act unless the effects meet this definition. Having one too many drinks and behaving like a misogynistic arsehole at works outings, does not meet the definition of disability.

But it's all irrelevant. That's for HIM (&mummy?) to sort out.

This thread is about her (soon to be EX) MIL.
@Chambers9 I'd tell her exactly what he said last time, the warning you gave him & what he said this time. Tell her it's not up for discussion & his job situation is for him to sort out.

ok would be curious to know his old he is & how old his mum is?!

OP, you say that he says very offensive things when he's drunk - I think that's reason enough to not be with someone, regardless of their job situation.
As the Romans used to say "in wine there is truth"...i.e. he's letting the mask slip when he's drunk, and showing the world what he's really thinking, and it's not very nice.