Have the school done the right thing even though it punishes the wrong set of people ?

Mumof3bringwine · 2025-05-23T18:50:19+00:00

DC is in year 6 and as I am sure everyone with a child in the same year is aware the leavers celebrations are in full swing. The leavers hoodies were organised by the class parent rep. The hoodies were handed out a while ago and the children have been proudly wearing them 2 days a week in school and were due to wear them for their residential. unfortunately the Rep has purposely left 1 child without a hoody and also did not include their name on everyone else’s hoody. I am not sure why it has only been bought to the attention of the school now, but they sent an email basically saying due to one child’s name not being on the hoody they are now banned from being worn on the school premises. Some very angry parents who think the school are punishing the children for something not in their control. I am not sure what else the school could of done ? I believe they made the right decision but I seem to be the minority!

prh47bridge · 28/05/2025 10:11

Will they be able to add the name so that it matches the others and looks like it was always there? And are they providing a matching hoodie to the child who was left out? Unless the answer to both these questions is yes, I would not regard this as a satisfactory resolution.

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 28/05/2025 02:33

Tiswa · 27/05/2025 21:49

It’s awful I did DDs yearbook in Covid and my god the work it took via emails and messages (because we weren’t on site) to make sure all 85 children in year 6 were included and all had main photo and information and at least 3 others photos, I also went through and made sure that the pictures were evenly spread.
DS last year did exactly the same

DD year 11 hoodie even included a girl who started in year 9 and due to anxiety left and did a few classes with Year 10 because it should

because the hoodie should reflect the children in the Year no exceptions

no matter what the back story is

and what is the back story with parents not wanting the other mum? The politics of this class sounds appalling

It’s not all the mums is just the same set of small group of mums I don’t know the reason though.
I do not know that particular mum very well she does not attend the school often.

OP posts:

Codlingmoths · 27/05/2025 22:38

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 19:06

I dont think half of know why, in terms of the rep and child who was left on there has been a lot of previous fights surrounding allegations of bullying on both sides.
i think there is around 4 parents who are more mouthy than others and the rest sort of just ignore what’s going on

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Ignoring what’s going on is saying lalala that’s cool if kids are bullied la la la.
totally not ok.

Codlingmoths · 27/05/2025 22:36

do you think the name can be added to look acceptable?

if you do, then you and all the parents should respond ‘we don’t need to know what the child has done, an adult bullying a child is not ok. Please have the names added, but if it looks terrible the head will keep the ban as it’s still not fair on the child on was deliberately excluded.’

Tiswa · 27/05/2025 21:49

It’s awful I did DDs yearbook in Covid and my god the work it took via emails and messages (because we weren’t on site) to make sure all 85 children in year 6 were included and all had main photo and information and at least 3 others photos, I also went through and made sure that the pictures were evenly spread.
DS last year did exactly the same

DD year 11 hoodie even included a girl who started in year 9 and due to anxiety left and did a few classes with Year 10 because it should

because the hoodie should reflect the children in the Year no exceptions

no matter what the back story is

and what is the back story with parents not wanting the other mum? The politics of this class sounds appalling

PennywisePoundFoolish · 27/05/2025 21:32

The update reads to me that the Rep mum is hoping parents will listen to her side and decide against asking for another hoodie

Does she have other DC at the school? Stepping down at this point in Yr6 sounds like a hollow gesture. I hope if she does have any other DC at the school, she's prevented from being a class rep or on the PTA.

For the school's sake I hope this is her last year. I'm sure they'll miss the DC but not this kind of behaviour from the parent

Tiswa · 27/05/2025 21:00

Actually exactly how is she expecting the name to be added?

prh47bridge · 27/05/2025 20:44

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 18:21

Update on situation - so although at first even though we all know it was on purpose the rep had continued to deny it sending over a draft copy of the original hoodie from shop as evidence that her name was included but due to further investigation has admitted today that she had in fact emailed after the draft and specially requested the name to be removed due to a personal issue with the parent and child so not the VAT argument.
she says she takes full responsibility and that if anyone wanted further info on the situation she would be happy to share what the child has done for the last 3 years which meant she was angry.
she has said she will rectify the hoodies and had asked another member of the class to add the name to all hoodies by Monday but I am assuming this other class member / parent is the other parent of a Sen child who the parents also have an issue with because she won’t say who but they had offered to the jumpers originally and was shot down when they offered to do it to keep prices down so it’s obviously her and this will cause some issues because some parents won’t want that mum to do their kids jumpers.

she had also stepped down as class rep.

Unless the person adding the missing name to the hoodies can do so in a way that is indistinguishable from the other names, which seems unlikely, I don't think this is an acceptable resolution. It may be that the original supplier could add the name in a way that was indistinguishable from the others but, if not, the rep should supply new hoodies to everyone (including this child) at her own expense.

GRex · 27/05/2025 20:37

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 19:52

No

so it turns out not the VAT issue is not that caused it

the payments issue was we paid for our indicidusl hoodies but vat was added to the adult sized ones - not the children’s ones. Rep has split the VAT between all 30 instead of asking the few who ordered adult sizes to cover their vat
it Was with a few hours notice and mum couldn’t pay the extra vat so questioned if she had to because her child’s was a child hoody and she has paid in full.

but todsy rep admitted it was a purposeful act and wasn’t even about the VAT.

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Well if rep admitted it, then rep should buy new hoodies for everyone. That's bare minimum to make up for her actions. She won't though, of course.

Tiswa · 27/05/2025 20:08

and the rep is still trying to justify why she excluded the name

because that is appalling and if I errr the school would be looking at whether the hoodie process works

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 19:52

1SillySossij · 27/05/2025 19:48

So reading between the lines I guess the rep took the parents and orders and placed the order with the printer. It turns out that some are bigger size which attract vat. The rep asked for the extra money from the parent who then refused to pay the extra. The printer had based the price on say 30 and had ordered 30 blank hoodies. So the rep has been left £20+ out of pocket for taking on the job.
It's also open to debate as to whether non-payers are part of the hoodie group or not. Remember th is is organised by the parents and not officially involving the school. Do they technically have the requirement or even the right to print a minor child's name whefe the parents are no longer signed up to it?

No

so it turns out not the VAT issue is not that caused it

the payments issue was we paid for our indicidusl hoodies but vat was added to the adult sized ones - not the children’s ones. Rep has split the VAT between all 30 instead of asking the few who ordered adult sizes to cover their vat
it Was with a few hours notice and mum couldn’t pay the extra vat so questioned if she had to because her child’s was a child hoody and she has paid in full.

but todsy rep admitted it was a purposeful act and wasn’t even about the VAT.

OP posts:

1SillySossij · 27/05/2025 19:48

So reading between the lines I guess the rep took the parents and orders and placed the order with the printer. It turns out that some are bigger size which attract vat. The rep asked for the extra money from the parent who then refused to pay the extra. The printer had based the price on say 30 and had ordered 30 blank hoodies. So the rep has been left £20+ out of pocket for taking on the job.
It's also open to debate as to whether non-payers are part of the hoodie group or not. Remember th is is organised by the parents and not officially involving the school. Do they technically have the requirement or even the right to print a minor child's name whefe the parents are no longer signed up to it?

Auroraloves · 27/05/2025 19:12

It all sounds so childish! How are they supposed to parent children about bullying if they carry on like this, good god. It’s absolutely pathetic- and the poor kids suffer

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 19:06

Dramatic · 27/05/2025 18:59

Dear Lord, why do so many parents have such major issues with each other? Has this child been terrorising the class or something? It's all very intense

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I dont think half of know why, in terms of the rep and child who was left on there has been a lot of previous fights surrounding allegations of bullying on both sides.
i think there is around 4 parents who are more mouthy than others and the rest sort of just ignore what’s going on

OP posts:

Dramatic · 27/05/2025 18:59

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 18:21

Update on situation - so although at first even though we all know it was on purpose the rep had continued to deny it sending over a draft copy of the original hoodie from shop as evidence that her name was included but due to further investigation has admitted today that she had in fact emailed after the draft and specially requested the name to be removed due to a personal issue with the parent and child so not the VAT argument.
she says she takes full responsibility and that if anyone wanted further info on the situation she would be happy to share what the child has done for the last 3 years which meant she was angry.
she has said she will rectify the hoodies and had asked another member of the class to add the name to all hoodies by Monday but I am assuming this other class member / parent is the other parent of a Sen child who the parents also have an issue with because she won’t say who but they had offered to the jumpers originally and was shot down when they offered to do it to keep prices down so it’s obviously her and this will cause some issues because some parents won’t want that mum to do their kids jumpers.

she had also stepped down as class rep.

Dear Lord, why do so many parents have such major issues with each other? Has this child been terrorising the class or something? It's all very intense

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 27/05/2025 18:21

Update on situation - so although at first even though we all know it was on purpose the rep had continued to deny it sending over a draft copy of the original hoodie from shop as evidence that her name was included but due to further investigation has admitted today that she had in fact emailed after the draft and specially requested the name to be removed due to a personal issue with the parent and child so not the VAT argument.
she says she takes full responsibility and that if anyone wanted further info on the situation she would be happy to share what the child has done for the last 3 years which meant she was angry.
she has said she will rectify the hoodies and had asked another member of the class to add the name to all hoodies by Monday but I am assuming this other class member / parent is the other parent of a Sen child who the parents also have an issue with because she won’t say who but they had offered to the jumpers originally and was shot down when they offered to do it to keep prices down so it’s obviously her and this will cause some issues because some parents won’t want that mum to do their kids jumpers.

she had also stepped down as class rep.

OP posts:

Finteq · 25/05/2025 13:05

Our school organised it themselves.

Basically the parents we sent text with link to the website.

If they order before a certain date the orders will be delivered to the school.

If after then have to pay delivery.

Not sure why something similar couldn't happen too next time. Wpuld save a lot of trouble.

spirit20 · 25/05/2025 12:55

The school is absolutely correct.

They obviously wouldn't let pupils wear a hoodie with the slogan 'We don't like <child's name>" printed on it. Leaving off one child's name from the hoody is pretty much the same thing, just done in a far more covert and sneaky way.

TheNightingalesStarling · 25/05/2025 12:50

thenewaveragebear1983 · 25/05/2025 12:45

Did they purposefully leave a child out though? I organised our hoodies for leavers this year as a parent (previous pta chair but pta wouldn’t do them this year so I stepped up) - school will not provide names. I sent out a Microsoft form with 6 weeks notice- order your hoodie through the form and if you want your child’s name on the back you need to fill in that section of the form even if you don’t want to buy one. I had reps in each class putting this message on social media (all parents were in the class groups) - and yet still I only had 83 responses and 1 who replied after the deadline because they had no idea this was going on (despite messages for 6 weeks prior to deadline).

If you read the thread, the Rep left out the child deliberately after the mother questioned something

thenewaveragebear1983 · 25/05/2025 12:45

Did they purposefully leave a child out though? I organised our hoodies for leavers this year as a parent (previous pta chair but pta wouldn’t do them this year so I stepped up) - school will not provide names. I sent out a Microsoft form with 6 weeks notice- order your hoodie through the form and if you want your child’s name on the back you need to fill in that section of the form even if you don’t want to buy one. I had reps in each class putting this message on social media (all parents were in the class groups) - and yet still I only had 83 responses and 1 who replied after the deadline because they had no idea this was going on (despite messages for 6 weeks prior to deadline).

TheNightingalesStarling · 25/05/2025 12:34

Mumof3bringwine · 24/05/2025 21:14

No there is a group but she is main rep there who delegated.

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She needs to step down.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 25/05/2025 12:25

The prom should not be going ahead if children dont feel comfortable going due to who has organised it. Can the school throw a party in the school hall during the afternoon instead.

Auroraloves · 24/05/2025 21:52

Mumof3bringwine · 24/05/2025 21:02

The child does not feel welcome and the same rep organises the prom.

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I’m so please that our school PTA do this and it’s not down to one cliquey bitch

Original poster

Mumof3bringwine · 24/05/2025 21:14

thetrumanshow · 24/05/2025 21:07

so it's ONE person organising hoodies AND the "prom"?

What is everybody else doing?

And again, kid being made to miss out on the party is only punishing him.

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No there is a group but she is main rep there who delegated.

OP posts:

thetrumanshow · 24/05/2025 21:07

Mumof3bringwine · 24/05/2025 21:02

The child does not feel welcome and the same rep organises the prom.

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so it's ONE person organising hoodies AND the "prom"?

What is everybody else doing?

And again, kid being made to miss out on the party is only punishing him.