To think I must have a mental health problem/not be a nice person/something else wrong to feel like this about other people?

Look up Scott Lyons Addicted to Drama. About 75% of mumsnet contributions are motivated by the same thing.

I suspect a lot of people enjoy drama. I think it only really becomes a problem if you start creating drama for your own entertainment, or start hoping bad things will befall your friends for your amusement.

You see how you’re making this all about you? Poor OP

It reminds me of’Be kind’. So passive aggressive

You quoted one of OP’s posts specifically replying to me 🤣🤣🤣

Did I mention you specifically? But if the cap fits…

It’s a complete pain when people do this.

’I sometimes feel like this.’

’You sound JUST like my aunt, who …’

argghh. No she doesn’t!

You were imagining. You were projecting. Maybe read posts properly before condemning people?

Maybe it’s feeling needed because this person is going through a bad time and you aren’t so you have the extra capacity to support.

No one lives a charmed life and never experiences pain or loss and it’s not like there’s a certain amount doled out and if someone else is suffering it means you’ve dodged a bullet though. Also check if you can be there for people when their lives are going well too. I’ve had people drop me as a friend when things are looking up and it was so hurtful to realise they only wanted me as a friend so they could feel thinner or more successful than someone.

Perhaps if you’re going to be the one to criticise others and tell them to read the posts properly, you’d do well to do the same yourself. I’ve already apologised for misinterpreting the OP a couple of times.

So why mention your aunt?

Put like that, does it seem so bad? You’re not alone in feeling like that. I do sometimes but only when the level of crisis is low. For something like a major bereavement I just feel pain and no pleasure .

I have an aunt like this. For years I thought it was because she was a kind, selfless person but, as she’s got older I’ve realised that she helps people because of what she gets out of it and the help always has to be on her terms. Interestingly, as she’s got older she’s become more isolated because of it.

Btw, not saying you are anything like this op! Your situation sounds more like you like being needed and useful.

Please take no notice of the self righteous critics here. You’re fine. Your thoughts are fine. We all have thoughts that we’d prefer not to. It’s part of being human. Anyone who claims otherwise is denying reality.

Well then that’s more normal then. It’s okay to get positive feelings about helping people. I was imagining you were finding delight in it at first.

Op I think you're being really honest admitting this, even on an anonymous forum! Imo people have all sorts of thoughts and behaviours across a whole spectrum. You've obviously got high self awareness and don't act on things you know would cross a line. Honest and self aware are great character traits. Don't judge yourself too harshly. In case you are!

I think it's part of human nature and probably something that developed to ensure humans have an interest in others and a reason for supporting others. It can be about feelings of low esteem and knowing something others don't know. You sound like you've got a good awareness and you can have these thoughts and let them go. As long as you arent taking delight in salacious gossip or creating drama or stirring the pot and not inserting yourself in something in an unhelpful way then I think you are doing OK. We are all learning about ourselves and developing over time.

All those being critical of the OP might reread the original post and note that she is talking about feelings, not harsh words. And then maybe look in the mirror.

I think there is a whole spectrum of this pattern. Some can be helpful and nice for the recipient, some may be draining, as many people describe on here. We are human beings and need human interaction, need feel needed.

I think that comes, in me, from a highly critical childhood. It teaches us to view ourselves and others in a highly critical and judgemental way. When we feel really small and we've been made to feel worthless, seeing other people fail can make us, unreasonably, happy. It's really uncomfortable, and it sits at odds with the other part of ourselves that wants to be kind, and compassionate and gentle. I'm so sorry you experience this. It's such a hard thing to have inherited. Lots of therapy or books about inherited shame might be useful. Best of luck and try not to judge yourself too harshly. It's not a trait that anyone chooses, and I'll bet my ass that the more critical responses on this thread are from people with the same difficulty but less insight.

Yeah, having read back it seems as if OP may just be used to chaos and just likes the drama, or just enjoys having something to feel useful for. It depends what the enjoyment and positive feelings actually are.

Paramedics and ICU doctors always say they get a rush of adrenaline when an emergency case comes in, perhaps it’s like that?

From what the OPs saying she’s not sitting smirking because Anna’s partner has a gambling problem and has lost them everything, but she does like the drama of it and being involved in helping in some way.

I have a friend going through a horrible situation at work, I’ve helped with it and I do think I’ve genuinely been helpful. And I’ve enjoyed feeling helpful.

I think a lot of people have this.

My sister tells everyone everything. When I had a breast check and got a biopsy, I only told my husband.

When I was dating and when my ex bf and I broke up, I saw my friend smiling as she was asking about it. We were 30. I was always very careful not to tell people about breakups until months later. I wouldn't get as upset telling, when it happened months ago.

I think every second person is like this. I think they like to lord it over a person. I was on the receiving end of this when I was single for years. I also told no one when I got made redundant when I was 30, not even my parents. When anything really goes wrong I feel I have no one to talk to.

I

Agh, my reply was automatically hidden because I mentioned electronic money .. . I didn't write anything horrible.