Why are so many men perverts?

They can all control themselves, it’s a choice to be a perv.

I’d love to hear them.

Discussed this with my husband a few times when seejng news about perverts etc.
He (male view) reckons all men have a tendancy for perversion but it varies in extremes, and that some men can not control it and that the men who can control their minds, bodies and urges have to keep an eye on the ones that can't and also there are some that are right dirty pervs who keep it hidden under a veneer of respectibility.
In short his view is that men will think about sex more than women, majority will have normal urges (like normal sex with age appropriate women) and be able to supress it or put it at the back of their minds and be respectful and not perverted. Others its right there front and central and they cant control themselves.
Makes sense to me as we know, men do think more with their dicks. Some men their brain can overule and some men it can't.

Again, I am not denying any of this, but what I find puzzling because it's a common occurence on MN, is that these incidents seem to happen to some women A LOT, and to others never.

This used to be me, it would happen to me ALL the time. It stopped once I reached about 30, thank god. I think some women have a certain "look" that attracts men like this and unfortunately that included me. I think they can also tell who is unlikely to cause a scene (again, me).

My trust in men is absolutely on the floor because of it. I would never accept a male professional touching me intimately, I even get uncomfortable in an eye exam. I've seen far too many "lovely family men" switch into predator mode as soon as no one is looking. I've even seen men make disgusting comments in front of their young children, so horrible.

Because we live in a society where historically women were lesser beings , men could marry, rape, beat women with no repercussions. Even twenty years ago sexual assault was seen as fair game in some situations nightclubs for example. Laws have strengthened, tolerance has changed but it’s still there and there are still plenty of men who think it’s acceptable .

it would be nice to think one day we won’t have to teach our teen dds how to protect themselves from men but it’s unlikely.

I think vulgarity in general is becoming more normalised.
Some men in particular seem to think banter is a code for say whatever they want and play it off as having a laugh. I've seen this play out in my own life. The only time where men have behaved with better standards is after they've done equality and diversity training at work, then gone on to "barriers to success" - levels the playing field.
I come from a deprived area, education is key.

my best friend sent me a pic of tom hardy saying she would climb that like a tree. that’s pretty perry but i found it funny

I'm certainly not a man but agree women can be just as bad. It just doesn't cause the same reaction

I think very few women aren’t victims, so saying ‘so many’ women are not victims is very misleading.

The only question is why are so many men pervs. Men need to change. Women don’t need to reflect on their behaviour because men are creepy towards them whilst they’re going about their life.

Why are so many women with gross men and are attracted to perverts? And then have these men around their children either with them or previous mem?

Maybe it is similar to online dating

Women can afford ( and have to be ) to be very selective. Men have very low matches etc if they are short , unattractive etc. some men then resort to unsolicited dick pics and crude approaches as widely as possible.

I suppose some men apply this to everyday situations too....

Sure that all happened.

There was a very similar post on here about a month ago, so I will repeat what I said then.

I don’t think all/most men are perverts. I’d say the majority aren’t, although sadly I have met a number throughout my life who absolutely were. I think men generally are just far more obsessed with / driven by sex and their sexual desires / appetites. Provided those desires don’t lead to poor behaviours or overstep the line, I don’t have a problem with it. And to be honest, some of the filthiest things I’ve ever heard have been said by women.

I think for me it comes down to the definition of a pervert. For something or someone to be classed as perverted, they would be characterised by sexually abnormal and unacceptable practices or tendencies. I interpret this as more along the lines of flashing strangers, bestiality or paedophilia.
Perhaps the better question to ask would be do we think most men are sleazy? For me, this is how I would categorise the tarot reader’s behaviour.

You are missing the point completely.

it’s just that pervs are gonna perv.
no one is saying they are not.

If you prefer, the question is not: why are these women victim of these pervs, the question is "why so many women are NOT victims". Why are the pervs leaving them alone?

Nowhere near as bad. The comedian Louis CK did a stand up comedy bit about this very subject years ago: “women THINK they’re as sexually perverted as men, that’s because they have no idea how sexually perverted men are…”

I’m a woman btw, but with a few close male friends who are refreshingly frank about this subject.

IMO they should start putting bromide in water to curb mens sexual urges which causes perversion.

I’m so sorry you had this experience - what an utter dick-whad!! Swerve, move on and live your great single life!!

I've never known a 'pervy' woman.
Pervy men however? Everywhere you go.
Sorry Nigel!

It’s bad luck now is it? Good grief. No, it’s perverted men not controlling themselves.

In the last couple of weeks

Whilst out running, I’ve had a handful of pervy comments from men about my body and what they would do with me.

My daughter and her friends have had pervy comments shouted at them from men in a van whilst walking home from school discussing their GCSE exam in their school uniforms.

My friend was inappropriately touched by a man on a train.

Another friend had creepy comments from a man who came to fix her washing machine which miraculously stopped when her husband arrived home.

My mother is now 70 and rides an electric bike. She regularly gets pervy comments.

That’s not bad ‘luck’ or anything to do with our ‘attitudes’ it’s just that pervs are gonna perv.

if you insist on taking everything I write as "victim blaming", I am not wasting my time with you.

It's terrible luck if one woman can't spend a day without being called names, sexually harassed and physically assaulted, every single day, while others bever experience the pervs ever.

The real sad thing is, in the man's moment of abuse/assault all for a moment's gratification, as evidenced by women in this thread, the trauma of it never leaves you, and women can still feel shamed by what they were subject to, many years later.

I had already said that the women I know had nothing in common other than being female.

It’s never the woman’s fault if she is sexually harassed. You were victim blaming, looking to see what the woman’s ‘attitude’ is like. And if women show fear of men, it’s probably because they’ve got reason to.

This comment doesn't make you come off better.

Fortunately for you, most posters drtft

I wasn't insinuating anything. You took it that way.
Quite the opposite actually, I was in fact wondering if someone showing more fear was possibly more at risk?

I honestly could not care less what your "male partner' can think and that he was "appalled" however.

I’ve seen it too. It’s no where as common though ime. When I’ve discussed it with men, it’s a minority who have experienced it. Generally, men can overpower women, so women are cautious of being sexual around men they’re not involved with. And although it is absolutely never ok for women to harass men, there is a difference because women do not pose the same threat to men that men do to women. Again though, it is never acceptable. When my partner has experienced unwanted attention, he hasn’t felt that he needs to smile and humour the woman in order to get away safely. He felt safe to say no without having to think he may be followed home etc. He didn’t like it, but he knew he wasn’t in danger of being raped. A gay male friend of ours has felt in danger, but guess what, from a man who wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Women experience it at work, on the train, at the shop, walking down the street, whilst exercising, literally everywhere.

To use whataboutery, ‘what about women that do this’, on a thread about men harassing women seems disingenuous.