Why are so many men perverts?

I was groped aggressively by a passing man in a nightclub once. It hurt. A male acquaintance saw me looking upset afterwards, I told him what happened and he said “ well you have great tits”. Obviously my own fault then.

Sadly age doesn’t stop it, my mum and friends were still getting it in their 70s.
And they said it was even worse decades ago, more catcalling from builders etc and bums pinched in queues, more pervy comments from older men when they were teens etc.
You are lucky

That's not the same at all,she was talking to her boyfriend not announcing it at the office or at an evening class.

I see the poem about the man's genitals as a form of flashing. It's revolting, a woman wouldn't write a poem about her vagina and read it out to the class.

So sorry that happened to you @ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews

Someone I had been friends with for nearly 20 years grabbed my breasts on a night out. It’s so upsetting when it’s someone you think you know and like and that you think likes and respects you.

Spot on, @FigTreeInEurope

Women CAN be as bad but on the whole, they’re not.

Yes, women everywhere in the world are constantly assaulting, harassing and intimidating men. We just can’t control ourselves. 🙄

I remember, when i was about 15, being pinned against a wall (in broad daylight, and on a busy street), by a boy i knew well (I actually thought we were friends).

And he was trying to kiss me and grope my breasts.

I agree. I'm too old to attract pervy men, but when younger I, thankfully, never got the kind of attention most mumsnetters get. I got flashed at once and groped on the tube once and that was it.

Are men bolder and more badly behaved than they were 40 years ago?

I think a lot of them don't see us as human, just things for their sexual pleasure.

I agree.

A lot of that is down to how women are presented and represented, though. Even in the mainstream.

How women are presented in films and TV. Constant nudity, and sex where only the woman is naked. Obligatory shower scenes when there's no other way to shoehorn tits in.

Constant scrutiny over women's dress, make up, physique, sexual appeal.

Clothing/cosmetic trends that promote these.

No, indeed as I said, it's not the same thing at all.

I was just originally responding to the suggestion that, whilst many men have no filter or sense of appropriateness when randomly talking about sex and intimate things to other people who may well not appreciate it, no woman would ever do anything remotely similar.

There have been lots of threads on here where female OPs have had to endure unwanted sexual comments from their husbands/partners - not some random man on the street - which has very understandably left them feeling uncomfortable and disrespected.

Creepy, boundary-crossing behaviour exhibited by loads of men doesn't automatically become absolutely fine if a woman does similar.

Rubbish.

YABU to go to a Tarot reader (plus you must be the easiest person to cold read ever giving him loads of information like you don't want a relationship and that it was your dad that died!) and he was BVU to be a complete creep.

Because many are absolute deviants. And having easy access to all sorts on the internet doesn’t help.

Men commit 98% of sexual assaults.
That is all you need to know.

Double post, but that friends dd also needs safeguarding @60sbird No one should be putting their hands down her pants - she’s 6! It doesn’t matter whether she likes it. Ffs those poor children.

Can’t be arsed quoting but that pp who has never been harassed or assaulted - a pervy man who is willing to say/do something to women has never crossed paths with you and felt they had the opportunity. That’s it, that’s all it is.

A lot of girls experience harassment and assault in their childhood years so think very carefully about putting it down to a no-nonsense, don’t fuck with me attitude instead of putting the blame squarely on the shoulders of entitled, abusive and criminal men. Of which there are many.

I can go years without being harassed but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still happening to someone else or that I’ve suddenly attained a status or aura that means pervy men now see me as a real human being.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, she has a six year old daughter, her daughter told her that a boy in her class keeps putting his hands down the back of her shorts and touches her bum, she she likes it but when he touches her in the front, she stops him, she’s told her to tell him to stop, I told her to go to the school and tell someone as it could be a sign that something was happening to him at home or that he might go to far and hurt her daughter, if he’s doing that at six then something is definitely wrong there

I completely agree with this. The stuff some men say to each other about women is weird as fuck, and leaves me speechless because my wife is my best friend.

There's an expectation from many men that you will think of your wife as a bit thick, childish, mentally unstable and a gatekeeper to sex. I regularly hear men talk about their wives as though they are tricky to manage members of staff.

If I pull other men up on it, they look at me like I'm niaeve, and haven't worked out that women are crazy, have an agenda, and spoil the sport of cheating. I genuinely think some men see infidelity, and their marriages this way.

I'm fifty odd, and I don't really remember men talking this way in the past. I think it's porn, and the "quantity rather than quality" it gives men's desire. I honestly think it needs all out banning, it's wrecking society from behind closed doors.

I think it’s partly socialisation.
Men told that men think about sex every few minutes/seconds. Males constantly shown examples of men grabbing women/refusing to take no for an answer/pestering women. Look at films, mainly old ones, and see how the hero behaves.
I don’t think it’s an excuse by any means. Boys brought up by awful fathers. Working with pervy men who see women as only good for sexual gratification,
Being exposed to porn.
Having fathers who put men first. Fathers who slate strong women. For example many, many men criticise female comedians or female sports players. Female mps. If any film with a female lead. Do they do the same to crap make comedian or rubbish films with a male lead?
Look at how their fathers view women. Do they talk about them in terms of their attractiveness therefore reducing them to objects?

Can’t quote well enough, but just to clarify no, mr nice guy telling me men’s brains are not the best, is not my sample size if one. Tbh I never felt/had any sexual weirdness/harassment concerns around him - though obviously he said that once.
I really didn’t (maybe don’t) want to believe that - especially when we all know apparently great guys - for me that includes relatives, in laws, friends - that I would hate (even struggle) to think are like that.
Anyway, sadly I do, like many, have a considerable sample size that proves his point - I’m old enough to have been perved on and harassed at work when it was just more or less ok, or laughed off. But I’ve seen it still happening at work today, though less prolific, and more hidden. Flashers seemed more prolific in my younger years too - around schools and in parks.I have been groped at bus stops as a young teen, and many more places as I started going out and about - like accidentally being too close behind me as well as more blatant grabs. My long term/and some short term fellas have all exhibited some behaviours that are questionable. My relatives/friends have similar stories and I observe plenty of low level perving when out and about.
I still don’t want to tar all men at all, I prefer to think this is a minority of men, and despite above I have male friends, colleagues and relatives whom I really like and would trust - sadly if I think about it probably at least half would exhibit some undesirable sexual behaviours if let loose.

Again, I am not denying any of this, but what I find puzzling because it's a common occurence on MN, is that these incidents seem to happen to some women A LOT, and to others never.

I don't think it's anything that women are doing tbh.

I'm 51 and l, whilst I'd say it's definitely lessened in the last 2 or 3 years, it still happens. I don't dress in a sexualised way or wear things that most men stereotyipically find particularly 'appealing'. I don't make.eye contact with men or even look at them (to the extent that I recently passed my partner on a staircase at a gig and didn't realise it was him). So I'm not eliciting it in any way.

Since hitting 45, I've shut down plenty of younger men with, "I'm old enough to be your mother," or, "And how would you feel if someone spoke to your mum like that when she was just minding her own business?"

I've been physically picked up on dance floors by male strangers, told I 'wasn't very nice' for telling some bloke who was harassing me to fuck off, I've had men in their 20s shout sexualised comments at me across the street on a night out, had a man in his 20s tell me i have 'great tits' and all in my mid - late 40s. And those are just the things I can recall right now. And don't include anything from my early 40s or 30s, 20, teens.

I think a lot of it boils down to this.

Some men know they are being creepy and intimidating and that's why they do it.

Some men don't realise that women find it intimidating and think it will be flattering. They've had years of women smiling politely and not challenging it so they think the vocal minority who object are weird because other women appreciate it.

Some men fantasise about women behaving similarly to them. If a woman made it known she was sexually available to him or thought about him sexually, or was that direct, or 'complimented' him in that way, he'd find it a turn on. They're just behaving towards women the way they want women to behave towards them.

YABU for paying some charlatan in a tent on a beach. But yeah I agree most men are somewhere on the pervy scale even if they don’t say it out loud.