To mention something to school?

My DD is also in year 6 and has also had a couple of disappointments over the last couple of weeks. One of them about the school play which is v hard for her because she does drama clubs outside of school and has performed in front of audiences before and she can’t understand why she didn’t even get a speaking part! I feel cross on her behalf and very much wanted to speak to the music teacher about it. She’s a quiet / unassuming child in school and not great at reading so possibly assumptions were made about her ability. But then I realised I need to step back and allow her to feel disappointed, as hard as it is. I guess it does build resilience but I’m still annoyed about it. I also know exactly who will get the main parts… the same children who got the main parts in year 5 no doubt.
As hard as it is, it is a life lesson.

I’m assuming the activity groups were an oversight but still rubbish for your DD as it affected her enjoyment of the trip. It might be worth flagging this with school just as an fyi. Did she feel bold enough to ask a teacher at the time why she wasn’t with her friends ? My DD wouldn’t have but I know plenty of her peers would have complained loudly and probably been accommodated . So there is that too…

No? Where did you get that from? The poster said that teachers don't have time to hear from parents that children are struggling and look out for them/find ways to boost them. Which of course we do.

High school is going to be tough without more resilience.

Jesus Christ. Prime example of the current trend in entitled parents and kids.
Newsflash - sometimes life doesn’t go the way you want. Use it as a life lesson and teach her some resiliance. While you’re at it
learn some yourself as well.

Honest question - what do you want out of mentioning it to the school? They can’t repeat the trip, they can’t “fix” what your daughter didn’t like - she should have said something whilst they were there.

I volunteer in a role where I have to split kids in to groups for things like sleepovers and activities, and it’s bloody hard. You’re never going to be able to please everyone and whatever you do there are going to be kids who aren’t with the friends they’d like to be with.

I would say children learn more and lead by parents reactions to things, parents may thinl they hide it but maybe she is more upset because you come across like her needs need to come first and are now upset yourself

This is not about you but what is best for her she needs you to act like an adult

i dunno the cohort doing gcses now had every year 6 event cancelled. Every year they saw the year 6s go to pgl do their play have their disco etc then when it was finally their turn…nothing. Dd sat and sobbed for one evening on realising this then pulled herself together and moved on. Suggest your Dd does the same.

You have time to purposefully single out a child and make sure there end of year 6 experience is a miserable one?

Parents like you who think that the teachers are out to get their kids are the reason that my kids school no longer does school plays and for residentials does big group things where there's 15+ kids to an activity and they don't get to even request which friends they'd like in their room names are literally pulled out of a hat!

We absolutely 100% do. It's a major part of our job. I'd hate not to know if one of my pupils was low or in need of a boost. It's a more common (and imo more important) reason for parental communication than academic matters.

As a TA, who last year had to sort rooms for our Year 6 residential, the end of year play and many, many other things due to staffing, whilst having to care for my husband who recently had a stroke. Please try and support the staff. The end of year is SO tough, it literally feels like we can't do right for doing wrong plus we are exhausted and we have our own things to deal with too. I appreciate way she is feeling is making you sad, but as others have said it's a good opportunity to teach some resilience and enjoy the last weeks of primary school.

The teacher probably meant she would be guaranteed at least one friend across both options she did at least get to share her dorm room with her best friend so that should tell her the teacher isn't purposely targeting her negatively. She's 11 and needs to learn she won't get everything exactly her own way

I used to say to my now grown up children when things like this happened - "Life is not always fair."

Do not buy into your DD's claim that the teacher is out to get her. Explain that they do their best but it is not possible for everyone to get exactly what they want. The teacher will have been working her tripe out and would not have the energy to engineer a situation that disfavoured one child even should she have wished to.

She is leaving soon anyway. But it does not help to reinforce a child's sense of grievance. She is going to encounter lots of situations in secondary school and in life when things feel unfair, and she needs your help to learn to distinguish between serious concerns/miscarriages of justice and just life as it is.

Your daughter needs to toughen up.

I think it would reflect badly on you to speak to the school about this total non-issue. They said they would try to put people with friends but that it may shake out differently, and that's what happened for 50% of this event.

When I was 6 I was convinced I would be chosen to play Mary in the school nativity play. Instead I was one of many, many angels. I stood in my angel costume, staring at Mary, completely unable to work out why it was not me in that role.

And the reason is because we're not always going to get our first choice or be top pick. That's life.

Absolutely don’t do this.

she found that she was in a room with her BFF

she has a role but d I know she is capable.*

You are being ridiculous.. please do not be that parent. And don't tell other parents that your kid was with her BFF in the room and you are still complaining, that won't go well 😂

Can I just say how refreshing it is to read of so many posters on here advising caution and to teach children resilience?

kids need to learn some resilience. Come on op.

same here. though my DS was on an overseas trip at the end of S3 (scotland year 9) put in an 8 bed dorm with none of his mates, From that trip and shared dorm sprung his best friends which he now has.

everything happens for a reason imo

My daughter in year 3 and year 4 didn’t get any of the children she requested. Not even one. Both times the teachers were apologetic. They knew she gets on with most and it’s true she does, so she got on with it. She’s in year 6 now and she’ll be going on her residential soon. I’d like to think she will get at least someone she has put down but if she doesn’t she will get on with it. She knows these things happen.

This is an opportunity for you to explain to her that we don’t always get what we want in life. She needs to develop some resilience. Don’t contact the school. They can’t please everyone. That’s life.

"Their parent was head of the PTA and then a school governor. "

SO fed up of this hackneyed cliche that gets trotted out all the time on MN. I've been a teacher for nearly 40 years and I honestly couldn't tell you whose parents are governors or on the PTA. I cast plays based on auditions, aptitude, reliability and who needs the opportunity. Bear in mind, some of the kids who people seem to think are the golden chosen ones are those who'd never make the football/netball team in a million years and this is their "thing."

Blimey im impressed that your class teacher is tackling a play at this stage in the game!!!
we do ours at Xmas it it nearly sends the teachers over the edge every year 🤣
listen I hear you, and it’s so easy to fall in to the trap
of mama bear and defend defend defend but.. in 3 months time she’s very much going to have to
fight her own battles and these things will feel very very small.. this is an opportunity to teach her to
Push through to make the best of things and to not be a victim, nothing really bad has happened in the grand scheme of things, she’s over tired and allll the hormones and over excitement. Our job as parents is to comfort and then to bring reason and to teach, nothing to collude with their emotional response or to turn them against the school, it’s to support the school and their teacher especially who has done SO much for that class already. School isn’t a service it’s an education- not every lesson is learnt from a book

A " gentle" note or a "quiet" word?" Be realistic, however this is worded it will come across as a criticism or complaint.
It will. Teachers are notoriously sensitive to perceived criticism, particularly at this time of year. They will have put a huge amount of time and effort into both the residential and now this upcoming play. Any comment or "helpful tips for next year" will not go down well, I promise you.
Also, whilst there are plenty of kids who would rather chew their own arms off rather than perform on stage, there are plenty more who see themselves as future West End stars or X-Factor winners, even when they can't sing a note or act to save their lives. Sorry to be blunt but that's the reality. The teachers will have cast this play accordingly.
I'm also doubtful as to how much help you telling them she needs a confidence boost will be. Probably best you try to do that yourself at home.