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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Only one child offered a school place and anxiety

36 replies

Zaina89 · 23/05/2025 16:02

Reposted
We have bought a house in Solihull, relocating from Birmingham. This is a move we’ve wanted to make for a long time. We have three kids - a daughter in Year 4, a son in Year 3, and one still nursery age.

The commute to the older kids’ school from our new home is sadly not sustainable - it’s 30 minutes each way when roads are clear, but at school rush hour more like 45-50 minutes.
I applied last month to Solihull council for the kids to move to local schools, fully understanding that the good schools were unlikely to have open spaces. To my surprise, my son in Year 3 has now been offered a place at our top choice school (with a nursery attached that I hope our 19 month old will attend once he turns 3, before going on to reception there). They don’t have a place for my daughter in Year 4, however - she’s third on the waiting list (though could move up the list based on sibling priority once my son starts).
The school wants my son to start on 9th June, so I have to decide quickly or we lose his offer.

Would you take the offer? My son is very shy and I’m having all the usual worries about moving him especially so late in the school year - I’m panicking about whether he’ll make friends. I’ve also got to let his current school know he’ll only be back for a week after half term, and the three-way school run will be very challenging. But hopefully this will mean my daughter is more likely to get a place? Is there anything I can do to speed this process up? Would love to hear about any similar experiences

OP posts:

AlorsTimeForWine · 24/05/2025 12:53

Take the offer.

Sortalike · 24/05/2025 12:52

In my experience, schools are slightly happier to go over their PAN (Pupil Admission Number) for older children.

It might be that come September it is a different scenario with waiting lists etc, but keep pushing the council for updates.

Saracen · 24/05/2025 12:46

LinkedinLovely · 23/05/2025 16:04

I don't know how to vote but just take the place. Home school your daughter for a bit then she'll get priority

No, home education doesn't give priority on the waiting list, otherwise everyone would do it! 😂But she may well go higher up the list now her sibling is there, because that is a common criterion.

All the same, if the two school runs are too impractical, home educating her while hoping for a place to come up at your preferred school might be a good short term solution. Is there plenty of availability at her current school, so she could just return there if you get fed up of waiting for the preferred school and don't want to carry on home educating? Things would get awkward if not, as she might end up at yet another school!

Kalara · 23/05/2025 21:53

Sounds brilliant OP, you have the whole summer ahead of you and should be in a good position come Sept. I hope your daughter gets her place soon. There's a good chance someone will be moving house over the summer.

Koazy · 23/05/2025 17:44

Yes

Original poster

Zaina89 · 23/05/2025 17:37

Thank you everyone.

I have accepted his place and he will start June 9th.

all these replies have honestly put my mind at rest. My son is enthusiastic about the move and chilled about it and my older daughter is really mature and understanding about the situation thankfully, that also makes it easier. It’s just me and my over reactive mind and an anxiety sufferer, it’s probably affecting me more than my children if I’m honest.

we started looking for houses back in January but the market has been crazy, so I have had it in the back of my mind for months that they may need to move but also aware waiting lists are crazy, all this has actually happened so fast, we actually thought we’d never be able to buy a house in Solihull with the market but then we found a house at a great price in our dream location that needs a lot of work but my husband is a builder so it was absolutely a steal, we only got the keys 3 weeks ago and only just applied for schools with the full expectation of the waiting lists being extremely high especially in good schools so receiving the email yesterday was a huge shock.

Now with this upcoming half term I’ve now got to go shopping for a new uniform which I never thought I’d be doing but you’ve all really put my mind at rest that it’s a high possibility my daughter will also get a place hopefully very soon.

OP posts:

flippertygibbet4 · 23/05/2025 16:54

She should get sibling priority if you take the place?

HaroldMeaker · 23/05/2025 16:53

Absolutely take it. I moved dd to a new school in June a few years back, she was very shy and anxious about the move. However, by September when they all returned from summer it was as though she had always been there.

TupperJen · 23/05/2025 16:50

We started with only few weeks of school year too, worked great as my daughter settled in, made friends - and we saw them over the summer holidays - by the time the new school year came, she was completely comfortable. Her new teacher didn't realise she was a "new kid" (which wasn't great testament to their handover, but that's by the by).

WarmRaven · 23/05/2025 16:50

Take the place. Your other child should move up the waiting list in their year group due to sibling priority. I think there is a good chance a place will come up sooner rather than later.

FuckityFux · 23/05/2025 16:50

Why did you move house if you weren’t prepared to take a few risks regarding school admissions?

Not sure how old the children are but presuming primary school age? I really wouldn’t worry until it comes to secondary schools. To my mind, they’re the important years!

Snorlaxo · 23/05/2025 16:45

I would definitely take the place - you don’t know how long it will take for a space to come up again and I suspect that your DD’s waiting list place is dependent on her brother attending the school.

I think that starting in June is better than starting in September. If he’s the nervous type then the summer holidays could end up very difficult as he’ll be worried about the new school. Starting in June hopefully means that he makes some friends for the summer holidays and that these friends will go up to secondary with him.

Poppyyoutwat · 23/05/2025 16:41

Also, the movements on waiting lists for schools can sometimes be faster than people realise.

When we moved areas, we held out for one school in particular. Dd went from being 8th on the list in May to being offered a place in he first week of September due to people moving/changing schools/switching to HE. It would have been even quicker if she’d had a sibling there.

mugglewump · 23/05/2025 16:38

Accept the place now!!! Starting a new school in the last term is ideal for him settling in so that he is familiar with the school and has made friends before starting year 4.

Once the place is accepted, contact the school directly and ask them if they can also accommodate your older child. There is no upper limit for KS2 class sizes, so they ought to be able to squeeze in an extra one. She will be top priority as a sibling so will hopefully have a place by September even if the school say they do not have space now.

Kalara · 23/05/2025 16:35

absolutely take it. It'll get her moved up the waiting list too.

aCatCalledFawkes · 23/05/2025 16:33

Yes take it. I moved house over the summer. The primary school we applied to confirmed my daughter’s place the first week of September.
When we first moved the school was full but movement in the area and the fact we were closet to the school waiting list wise meant it was all confirmed

Thisisittheapocalypse · 23/05/2025 16:32

I would take the place, get her moved up the waiting list if possible due to siblings in school, and desperately hope she gets in for September start.

Lougle · 23/05/2025 16:32

You take the place and then appeal for your DD who is in year 4. It's much easier to win a year 4 appeal than a year R - year 2 appeal.

JustMyView13 · 23/05/2025 16:32

Move him now, it’s actually better because he can get settled then go back properly in September.
Regarding your daughter… controversial, but mum worked in a school once and the child had no place, but turned up in full uniform at reception and ready to learn and the school took them in. They said they couldn’t turn a child away that was willing and able to learn, and they made it work. I’m not saying this is ethical, or guaranteed, but I’d consider it 🤣

Normandy144 · 23/05/2025 16:30

Yes absolutely take the place. The only downside is the logistics but it's not going to be forever. If you decline his space then it's going to put you in a worse off position and you'll have to wait longer plus I don't think you can decline a space and then ask to go back on the waiting list. The way I see it is that it's a bonus for your son because he'll be joining at the end of the school year and will presumably be present for the transition day when they get to test out the next year up. So from that point of view it's brilliant he'll be there for that. Take the space!

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 23/05/2025 16:29

take the place xx

Chlorophyllgreen · 23/05/2025 16:27

This happened to us. We took the place and then appealed for our child that there wasn't a place for. We weren't going to appeal as we thought it was a bit cheeky, but the school admissions officer suggested that we did. Our other child got in with our very factual appeal about the difficulty of getting our children to different schools. We were honest that the issue of getting them both to school on time was because we had moved one child and our appeal was still successful. We only had a couple of months wait before they were at the same place.

MalcolmMoo · 23/05/2025 16:26

Absolutely take the place. It’ll be annoying in the short term but hopefully your daughter will get a place too.

As someone else has said ring them up once your son starts to let them know a sibling has started.

MrsAvocet · 23/05/2025 16:22

I'd take it. If it's a popular school there is a high chance that if you don't take the place someone else will and you don't know when the next opportunity for a place in that year group will come - if ever. Whilst it's maybe not the ideal time of year to be changing school, once you have one child in it increases your chances of ultimately getting all your kids in the same school. If you decline this place you could still end up with your children being offered places in different schools that are potentially not as good and/or further away. I'd take the short term pain in the hope of longer term gain.
We were in a similar position many years ago though our DD moved slightly earlier in the year, between Easter and half term, in year 4. Actually it worked out pretty well, as she got to join in a lot of fun stuff in the last half term, was settled before September plus had made local friends before the Summer holidays meaning she had invitations to play dates and parties during the break.
I understand your anxiety but it sounds like it will be your best option in the long term, so I'd bite the bullet and move your DS.

Howdoesithappenlikethis · 23/05/2025 16:21

Is it possible to home e evil you daughter until a place becomes available?

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