Is it me, or are these friends exploiting us?

They were even wondering if estate agents offered empty houses free for short term occupancy - as if?!

Suggest home guardianship to them. They'll still need to pay, like. But it's cheaper than market rent.

Oh, and mind and count the teaspoons after their next visit.

In your situation @JohnPrescottsPyjamas I would be airily unaware & completely but politely obtuse about any hints they're dropping.

If they ask straight out, say you're sorry, but you can't do it.

A weekend would be OK, but a whole month? I've had people stay for that length of time, and longer, to help them out, but it's been very much on a sharing house basis - they do their own cooking etc. I tell them, I will be living my life, and they'll have to flex around me. I do not "host" in the way I would for visitors I've invited ie cooking meals, catering, going out & about with visitors etc.

Please come back and update on what they say when you say no!

and when they say “oh but why not, we’ll be no bother etc etc whine waffle whinge beg” (because they will) you have so many answers …

“we don’t want to”
”the favour bank ran dry after the airport run”
”ha, we’re not that daft, that would wreck the friendship pretty fast”
”we don’t want to”
”everyone else in this situation would pay for short term accommodation, why can’t you”
”i hear what you’re saying and the answer is no”
“we don’t want to”

They arent friends. They are CFs who think your both mugs and idiots.

This is how BIL and SIL operate, they travel widely in Europe, always “looking after a friend’s home”. Never reciprocate though.

You and your H sound like you have been and remain easy targets for these CFs.

Don’t make suggestions about options or engage with their problems: ‘oh dear’. If they ask directly for you to subsidise them in any way say no: no explanation needed.

They will never leave. They will move in, run the leccy bill sky high, eat you out of house and home, leave dirty dishes everywhere then probably end with a flourish by smothering you in your sleep and feasting on your remains.

But hey, at least they're 'charming'.

Just. Say. No.

What a great idea! We are putting that room on Airbnb next week. To make it all stress free you can book it when it goes online. Why? It is tied up with our house insurance.

A month?! Do you know how long it takes to buy a house? You will have them for the best part of a year.

Do not do this!

You have to be very plain with CFs. Just say “Sorry, absolutely not, don’t like houseguests, we find it too intrusive and we’d be at each others’ throats inside a week”. Laugh if you like but hold that line and do not give an inch.

They sound quite calculating actually. Be careful they don’t invite themselves for an overnight stay and then linger. I’d keep them at a distance till they’ve actually moved.

And if they don't stop dropping them
just reply with "lord, no way would we let anyone stop at ours for more than it takes to have a meal and drink, would hate to have people staying over"

Ugh. Nope.

The fact that they don't want to use any of the cash sitting in their bank account to pay rent is not your problem.

If you let them move in for a month they will still be there a year later.

I'm not normally an advocate of blocking people, but I'd make an exception in this case.

I think I'd actually laugh in their faces at the accommodation hinting.

"Haha, full marks for brass neck – God loves a tryer, eh? Anyway, about that drink you were going to buy me...

They're not friends. They're leeches. They will stick around until they have had their "fill" from you and then move on to take advantage of the kindness and generosity of others, repeated ad infinitum.

I can very easily imagine you giving them house room and finding your lives being manipulated endlessly to maximise the benefit to them at your own comfort and expense, and I don't know why you would consider risking that.

If they've made a tidy sum on their house sale, then leave them to spend some of it on accommodating themselves from the get-go! Where's the incentive to actually buy somewhere if you can endlessly abuse friendships and scrounge off others, getting freebies constantly? They've behaved like this because they can, because others let them. Don't be like those others!

Oooh yes, this.

It's astonishingly effective, I have discovered.

No one needs an excuse to turn down unwanted guests! And people who won't accept a plain 'No' are definitely not people you'd want as guests.

I’d say yes, tell them what the going rate for Airbnb is and tell them I wanted a month’s payment upfront. You won’t see them for dust.

Surely the correct answer to ‘are you still ok to drive us to the airport?’ Is ‘I think you’ve got me confused with someone else, I’m not driving you to the airport’ and if they persist it’s ’I’m busy that day/time’ if they ask what you’re busy doing ‘why do you want to know? I’ve said I’m busy, I was being polite, I don’t want to take you to the airport’

If they outright ask to stay with you then a ‘no, I’m afraid that’s not possible’ if they push it then ‘I’ve said no, please don’t push it because I don’t want to fall out with you.’

You have to be harsh/less polite with these type of people because they don’t respond the way normal people do and they’ll walk all over you if you let them.

People can only exploit you if you let them. Just say no, that won't work for us. No excuses or explanations. They can rent an Airbnb!

They’ll only exploit you if you let them. Don’t let them stay. If they made a profit, they can rent/air BnB somewhere.

It takes longer than month to buy a house. They will be with you till Christmas! Just say no.

on the one hand I quite admire their thick skinned gall, on the other I thnk they are horrendously rude piss takers

Use this one OP, it really works! Will stop them in their tracks, and you might (although I doubt it) even get some petrol money out of them, although doubtless they won't have been to the bank, so be prepared with 'Oh, don't worry, I'll give you our bank details, you can pay it straight in then'.