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Original poster

If your child gets a detention at school, do you punish at home too?

113 replies

comeandhaveteawithme · 23/05/2025 11:52

Just that, really?

My DH says no, detention is enough, but it's clearly not because he keeps getting them for stupid things.

OP posts:
Hoplolly · 23/05/2025 12:05

onemaybetwo · 23/05/2025 11:56

No and tbh sometimes I override the detentions as the school keep giving them for ridiculous reasons eg not wearing clothes in a specific order or asking a relevant question

My DC got one for getting up out of his seat because a wasp was going for them. Ridiculous. There was no way I was supporting that, so they didn't go.

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/05/2025 12:04

Depends. If he's rude to adults, not doing his work, making fun of people, bullying etc, yes. Uniform, pens etc, no.

DoAWheelie · 23/05/2025 12:03

It depends why he's getting them. I was constantly in detention for things I couldn't help doing because of my disabilities. You can't punish certain behaviours out of people.

If he is being out right naughty and unkind then further punishment might be appropriate. If it's for things like forgetting to bring items or similar then maybe you need to work on strategies to help prevent it.

(I was mostly being punished for not following instructions properly despite being deaf and unable to hear them.So I'd hear "do the sums on page 53" but the homework was actually page 63, or id just not hear the assignment at all and think I had no homework. My teachers knew I was deaf but kept telling me to "just try harder".)

elusiveemz · 23/05/2025 11:58

Mine have never had detentions, but no. I don't believe in double punishing them. We would have a good chat about it, if it was a warranted detention, and make sure they're aware I'm disappointed and how we will stop it happening again but no, they've had their punishment.

WhatNoRaisins · 23/05/2025 11:57

It depends what he's getting them for. If it's bad behaviour and it kept happening then I would. If it's more like forgetting to bring something in I'd be looking at potential strategies to help.

Youagain2025 · 23/05/2025 11:57

No they have already been punished. If they get punished at home the school don't then do the same to.

faerietales · 23/05/2025 11:56

What’s the detention for?

onemaybetwo · 23/05/2025 11:56

No and tbh sometimes I override the detentions as the school keep giving them for ridiculous reasons eg not wearing clothes in a specific order or asking a relevant question

Sdpbody · 23/05/2025 11:56

Depends on the situation.

I would be having stern words in general, but the punishment at home would be severe if it was for violence/bullying etc.

Hoplolly · 23/05/2025 11:56

Depends what it's for. I don't always agree with the school detention, so in those cases, no.

Catandsquirrel · 23/05/2025 11:55

What's the bigger picture, what's he getting detentions for and how to address that? Its not really about sending him to his room when he gets home. It's more about the cause of all these small issues adding up

MellowPinkDeer · 23/05/2025 11:55

It depends what it was for. Did he misbehave ? Be rude ? Or forget a book or the right pencil?

YellowPostIts · 23/05/2025 11:54

I don’t really “punish” in the classical sense.

but we’d be having pretty serious sit down discussions about any detention let alone repeated ones.