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Original poster

Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

532 replies

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 07:49

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

OP posts:
CountryMouse22 · 23/05/2025 12:33

"jewellery on the hallways console"

Sorry, I don't understand?

Gloriia · 23/05/2025 12:33

BumpyWinds · 23/05/2025 12:30

I would definitely be minded to report it to the police online.

Chances are nothing will come of it but it will be recorded against her name if her bunny boiler tendencies worsen in time.

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They don't keep allegations next to people's names in case they make a habit of damaging jewellery. The op should put it down to experience, choose friends more carefully and keep valuables somewhere safer and more secure than a hallway.

BumpyWinds · 23/05/2025 12:33

Gloriia · 23/05/2025 12:29

What is a hallway jewellery console and why isn't your jewellery in a box in your bedroom? That is normal practise round here.

Edited

Are you suggesting anything in OP's own home and not stored in a receptacle that you think appropriate is an invite to destroy it?

You do see that OP has no fault in her personal possessions being damaged in her own home?

Chances are, as a PP showed with their Sue and Bob story, that it doesn't matter if it was jewellery. If it wasn't jewellery, it would be something else, like a cut in some fabric of OP's coat, or sofa, or anything.

miraxxx · 23/05/2025 12:33

If she doesn't pay up, Op can still steal her man!

BumpyWinds · 23/05/2025 12:30

AthWat · 23/05/2025 11:40

Of course there should be better funding and more resources but at the moment there are not, and though she might get a PCSO come to her door if she phones it in, that will be the extent of it.
It's not about what ought to happen, it's about what will.

Edited
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I would definitely be minded to report it to the police online.

Chances are nothing will come of it but it will be recorded against her name if her bunny boiler tendencies worsen in time.

Gloriia · 23/05/2025 12:29

What is a hallway jewellery console and why isn't your jewellery in a box in your bedroom? That is normal practise round here.

BumpyWinds · 23/05/2025 12:28

Ilikeadrink14 · 23/05/2025 12:21

You what??

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Bunny boiler reference!

BumpyWinds · 23/05/2025 12:28

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 08:55

My text only asked what happened to my jewellery, and made no mention of “brake”, it is only her who has said this.

Ooh - very Colleen Rooney of you! Lured her into your trap!

That's awful OP, but at least you know where you stand with her now and what she's really like. You're well rid of her as a friend.

Be prepared for her to make you out as some sort of headcase if you have any mutual friends, so have a pre-prepared statement planned if anyone should ever mention it.

"Yes, I stopped spending time with her when she mistakenly believed I was interested in the same man as her and then destroyed £300 of my jewellery as some sort of act of revenge."

(Excellent choice of user name BTW - hopefully this man she's interested in doesn't ever reciprocate those feelings for his own sake!)

StarCourt · 23/05/2025 12:27

don’t let her get away with it

LaaLaaLady · 23/05/2025 12:23

TheBossOfMe · 23/05/2025 09:01

This. If I got a text asking what happened to the jewellery, my first assumption would be that you were saying it had gone missing, not that it was broken.

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Exactly! OP if you need to text her any more, I'd definitely highlight that you didn't mention about breakage, the fact she suggested that shows her guilt. Also, please defend yourself against the lie that you stumbled and clarify that didn't happen, as of course you'd remember such a thing especially given that alcohol wasn't a factor. Your ex-mate sounds loopy and unhinged!

OrangePineapple25 · 23/05/2025 12:22

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 08:10

Just received a reply:

”You stumbled and fell on the console when you were going upstairs last night, I came to see what happened and you just shrugged your shoulders and went upstairs. I did not brake(sic) your stuff. I have treated you well and I don’t know why you would assume I would brake your stuff.”

I absolutely DID NOT stumble nor fall. Even so, the damage done has nothing to do with that. They are all still neatly on the table but totally damaged.

Edited

How did she know you thought it was broken - what was your message? The way you wrote it in your OP it doesn’t actually say it was damaged. So odd she’d jump to that conclusion unless she knows it is damaged. Could be lost, misplaced?

PaulKnickerless · 23/05/2025 12:21

ScandiStyle · 23/05/2025 11:04

The police will not be impressed.

Seriously have you no idea of how pushed the police are and how serious crime is not being dealt with? Not 2 women squabbling over a small amount of jewellery.

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It’s their literal job! Resourcing of the police is not the OP’s concern.

Ilikeadrink14 · 23/05/2025 12:21

VirgosNeedGoals · 23/05/2025 08:21

Thank fuck you don't have a rabbit

You what??

everywhen · 23/05/2025 12:12

Bizarre behaviour

saraclara · 23/05/2025 12:05

ScandiStyle · 23/05/2025 11:55

Brake?

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The poster was making a joke. See the smiley?
Re-read the message that the 'friend' sent to OP.

user2848502016 · 23/05/2025 12:04

Check whether the jewellery is covered by your contents insurance and if it is you might have to report to the police to be able to make a claim

InvasiveSpecies · 23/05/2025 11:57

Muffinmam · 23/05/2025 09:42

What does “I will not hesitate to pursue the matter with the utmost urgency” even mean? Does it mean you’ll take her to Court via a small claims? Does it mean you’ll file charges with the Police?

Is the jewellery costume jewellery or fine jewellery?

Can you please post a picture?

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Yes, I'm not clear on what 'with utmost urgency' means, either, and I suspect neither will the friend because it sounds like a fairly ill-defined, vague threat.

It all sounds a bit mad, OP. Have you been friends for a long time?

Because it seems to leap crazily fast from her being enough of a good friend to stay over in your house overnight, to a sudden argument, based on a misunderstanding, over you both fancying the same mutual friend, that made her 'upset and angry', though apparently you parted for the night amicably, and now she's apparently damaged a lot of jewellery as revenge but says you did it by falling on the hall table, and now you're calling her a criminal and threatening her?

Is this one of these Mn situations where 'friend' means 'someone I know, but don't much like, with whom I have regular disagreements and and of whom I'm willing to think ill'?

thegirlwithemousyhair · 23/05/2025 11:56

ScandiStyle · 23/05/2025 11:53

If it's all so simple- call police etc etc- why are thousands of shoplifters getting away with it in plain sight?

This is damage (not theft) to some 'costume' jewellery. It's not going to get the attention you think.

Honestly, some posters here seem not to live in the real world.

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The main reason they get away with it is because the stores choose not to proscute.

ScandiStyle · 23/05/2025 11:55

YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld · 23/05/2025 11:54

Thick is right.

You need to brake up with her :)

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Brake?

YourSignalFadedIntoAnotherWorld · 23/05/2025 11:54

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 10:35

If I had to guess, I know that she would prefer to pay, because she knows if I’ve said I’m going to do something I follow it up, and she won’t want the aggro with her friends finding out, some of who are her colleagues, she’s got a rep to protect and as far as I know she’s never done anything like this, nothing we know about anyway.

BUT she will be afraid that paying up will be an admission of guilt and will be afraid of that coming out. She’s painted herself into a corner. She’s also probably too thick to figure her way out of it, I have only now realised today how thick she is, I am embarrassed for her. She needs to fix this. Can’t just step on people like this literally and go swanning off into the sunset, not today.

Thick is right.

You need to brake up with her :)

ScandiStyle · 23/05/2025 11:53

SuperTrooper14 · 23/05/2025 11:30

Prosecuting is ultimately a decision for the CPS. But would officers been sent out if OP reported it? Yes. Criminal damage to someone's property in their own home isn't trivial and the fact people are so dismissive is why we have shockingly high unsolved crime numbers. The public is too quick to let the police and the Govt off the hook when it comes to tackling others breaking the law. There should be better funding and more resources.

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If it's all so simple- call police etc etc- why are thousands of shoplifters getting away with it in plain sight?

This is damage (not theft) to some 'costume' jewellery. It's not going to get the attention you think.

Honestly, some posters here seem not to live in the real world.

Callie247 · 23/05/2025 11:51

Bunnyboilerfriend · 23/05/2025 09:24

She has no right to do this and I do not see why I should just take it. She’s a criminal and I will make her think twice today.

I have sent this text:
”This is not up for debate.
You have the opportunity to end this matter by refunding me.
You have until midday to clarify whether you intend to do so or not.
Otherwise, I will not hesitate to pursue the matter with the utmost urgency.
Regards, “

I think you should have maybe pointed out you mentioned nothing about anything being broken. She’s practically admitted it by saying that.

whitewineandsun · 23/05/2025 11:48

She sounds like a sociopath doing that. I wouldn't go near her ever again.

TorroFerney · 23/05/2025 11:46

BaconMassive · 23/05/2025 08:31

Bacon sandwich, cup of tea.

Talk it through in person

Now usually I’m an advocate of that but if this is word for word true she is unhinged, you can’t talk someone out of that. And even if she did say yes I was enraged I can’t control myself what do you then say?

AthWat · 23/05/2025 11:46

657904I · 23/05/2025 11:44

Honestly? I think you’re unnecessarily pessimistic about this and are possibly projecting your own issues. In any case you are not in a decision making position.

In terms of the police, they have a clear person of interest to investigate. That already makes their job significantly easier. “One person’s word against another” also isn’t as large as a barrier as you are fear-mongering about, it is fairly simply to disprove the outlandish version of events proposed. In fact having a stupid claim put forward by the offender, may pique the interest of the police as opposed to a reasonable explanation.

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What "issues" of my own do you think I am "projecting" when I say the police don't have the time to devote resources to incidents this minor when there is no evidence presented?

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