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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP expected me to move off the sofa so she could take my seat

79 replies

randomskittles · 22/05/2025 20:28

DP was out all morning, I was at home. We have a corner sofa with a chaise and a second two-seater sofa. When she arrived home mid afternoon I was lying on my stomach on the corner sofa working on my laptop.

She came into the room with her earphones in and said 'can I sit down, Skittles?'

I sat up to make space for her (although the two seater was free) and put my legs out on the chaise. She continued staring at me.

I said, 'do you want me to move?'

She shouted, 'WHAT?' and took out an earphone. I repeated my question.

She responded, 'yeah. I've been looking forward to coming home, eating my lunch and sitting in this seat'.

I said, 'I just think it's a bit rude to make someone move from the seat they're in'

She said, 'if you want to argue, go ahead'

I knew arguing with her was pointless so I got up and went and sat in the other room.

AIBU to feel hurt by this? She is now acting like nothing happened

OP posts:
Duvetsse · 22/05/2025 21:21

So you are bullied by her and afraid of the backlash of arguing the point?

Sounds toxic.

Lavender14 · 22/05/2025 21:21

To be honest op this relationship sounds pretty unhealthy. Unless there's a drip feed as to why she needs to sit on that exact spot her request is totally unreasonable and very entitled and selfish, but I think more than that your feelings about challenging her on this are very telling if you can't face communicating with her because it'll escalate into her assassinating your character.

I think if you have children involved I'd be suggesting couples counselling and leaving if that's declined. If no kids involved then I'd just make plans to leave.

FairPlayer274 · 22/05/2025 21:20

Would she move for you, if you had asked?

I think it’s rude of her to have asked, but if my DH came home and was like “Oh man.. I was really looking forward to sitting there,” I would gladly give him the seat to make him happy, as I know he’d do the same for me. But it sounds a bit like your DP bullied you into doing it because she knows you don’t want to argue about it. That’s not healthy

Motherofdragons24 · 22/05/2025 21:19

YANBU. My DD does this, demands that anyone sitting on “her” seat move as apparently it’s the only place she can see the telly (it really really really isn’t). It drives me nuts and She is promptly told no. In her defence she’s 4…

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 22/05/2025 21:16

Flashahah · 22/05/2025 20:53

And take the sofa

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Yes!!!

knittasgonna · 22/05/2025 21:09

The only way I could maybe partially understand would be if you know this is their favourite spot, you've been home all day, free to sit wherever you want, and now that they're home, you knew that they'd want to sit there to eat. If I knew I was in DH's preferred spot and there was no particular reason I needed to stay there, I'd probably just move over so he could be more comfortable, but on the other hand, they didn't have to be so forceful and argumentative.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 22/05/2025 21:08

5foot5 · 22/05/2025 21:04

This.

I normally have "my" spot on the sofa and DH has his and I always feel mildly put out if anyone is in my spot for any reason. But I wouldn't dream of saying anything or expecting someone to move. That would be weird and rude.

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Exactly. My book or whatever I'm working on hobby wise is usually around "my" spot, there's a phone charger readily accessible, my drink is usually next to it etc etc.

But it genuinely doesn't matter if I need to sit elsewhere. I'll use DHs charger, move my glass, I can pick up my book from the other end of the sofa. Not hard.

5foot5 · 22/05/2025 21:04

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 22/05/2025 20:50

We have our "own" spots we usually sit in (I like the corner, he likes the recliner, child usually wedges herself in with one of us or if she's settling in for a chill she goes for the chaise). But, if I've sat on the recliner for any reason, and he comes in he just plonks himself in the corner.

It's really not argument worthy.

This.

I normally have "my" spot on the sofa and DH has his and I always feel mildly put out if anyone is in my spot for any reason. But I wouldn't dream of saying anything or expecting someone to move. That would be weird and rude.

PhilippaGeorgiou · 22/05/2025 20:56

Lying on your stomach and working on your laptop - that's incredibly bad for you.

AgnesX · 22/05/2025 20:54

Apart from not understanding how you can work on your laptop while lying your stomach, you should have stayed put.

Flashahah · 22/05/2025 20:53

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 22/05/2025 20:51

Ltb

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And take the sofa

Hankunamatata · 22/05/2025 20:52

Are they sheldon from big bang theory

Oddsocksanduglyshoes · 22/05/2025 20:51

randomskittles · 22/05/2025 20:40

Because I knew she would start saying that I was selfish or difficult or nasty. Sometimes it's not worth saying no to her because I can't face the argument. And I wasn't sure if refusing to move would mean I was being difficult

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Ltb

Nancywilsontheendofourlove · 22/05/2025 20:51

So Sheldonesque.. you're in my spot
One for Big bang fan's 🤣

SandrenaIsMyBloodType · 22/05/2025 20:50

I rarely ever say this but I think that it intolerable. You should not be in a relationship with someone who would so casually but so fundamentally disrespect you. She thinks her needs and wants are more important than you on every possible level. It’s the fact that “who sits in a chair” is such a small thing that makes it such a big thing. Your comfort, your opinions, your right to exist in the same space as her are dismissed as less than. It is absurd and it is absolutely irredeemable.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 22/05/2025 20:50

We have our "own" spots we usually sit in (I like the corner, he likes the recliner, child usually wedges herself in with one of us or if she's settling in for a chill she goes for the chaise). But, if I've sat on the recliner for any reason, and he comes in he just plonks himself in the corner.

It's really not argument worthy.

Flashahah · 22/05/2025 20:44

Poopeepoopee · 22/05/2025 20:32

I always just say "no" if someone dares ask me to move.

Unless it's my dog.

And they don’t even ask, do they? They just look at you!

nomas · 22/05/2025 20:44

She sounds like a twat. Leave her.

BakelikeBertha · 22/05/2025 20:44

Sorry OP, but why didn't you just tell her to feck off? Why on earth would you move for someone else's comfort, unless they've broken a leg or something, and you have the only chair that would be comfortable for them. Doesn't sound like this is a relationship that's likely to go the distance, your partner sounds selfish as fuck!

Original poster
randomskittles · 22/05/2025 20:40

Motomum23 · 22/05/2025 20:29

Why did you move?? I'd have told them to f off

Because I knew she would start saying that I was selfish or difficult or nasty. Sometimes it's not worth saying no to her because I can't face the argument. And I wasn't sure if refusing to move would mean I was being difficult

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 22/05/2025 20:38

Relationships are meant to enhance your life. Does this one do that?

mrsfeatherbottom · 22/05/2025 20:37

Is her name Sheldon Cooper?

DorothyStorm · 22/05/2025 20:37

You didnt need to argue. Just dont move.

nutbrownhare15 · 22/05/2025 20:36

This is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?

ButteredRadishes · 22/05/2025 20:34

Sounds like a fun, happy and loving relationship you have there...

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