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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In laws and partners family visiting to see new baby 👶

87 replies

elizabethxxx · 22/05/2025 17:31

Hello!

I am 37 weeks pregnant :)

my partners family are coming to visit at the end of July to see the baby. For context his parents live out the country, but his sister, niece and sisters partner live in the UK.

we have a two bedroom house and his parents are staying in the spare bedroom and his sister, her partner and niece in the living room.

my parents offered to have some of them stay at theirs however because of the language barrier his family said no (they’ve also not met before).

I feel bad three of them will have to stay in the living room (it’s uncomfortable and I’m sure they would like their own space). So I suggested to my partner we stay at my families house (a 15-20 minute drive away) and 6 minutes on the train. So they can all have their own bedroom. My partner is not overly keen on this, and says his family won’t like it.

the only other thing I can think of is if we sleep in the living room. However with a 1 month old baby in the summer I feel like this would be uncomfortable, also from past experiences his family do barge in sometimes and I feel I would need some private spare to BF etc .

i get his family want to see the baby as much as possible but we will come every morning and go every evening. AIBU? I feel like my partner thinks I am but tbh I don’t feel I am?

TIA! Xxx

OP posts:
Iloveacurry · 22/05/2025 17:38

God no, don’t give up your room. Why can’t one lot of them stay in a hotel or B&B?

MzHz · 22/05/2025 17:38

Nonononononono NO!

don’t do this to yourself!

there isn’t the room for these people, they can stay over at your parents or book a hotel/bnb.

You are MAD to even consider this. Your H needs to manage this better.

they are not staying with you and putting you out like this

no decent inlaw would ever consider doing this to a new mother

Hankunamatata · 22/05/2025 17:38

Id move to my parents and left dh crack on with his family in the house.

andweallloveclover · 22/05/2025 17:38

I'm sorry but absolutely no way would I agree to this.

Fine if they want to come and see the new baby but they all stay elsewhere.

Your priority at this stage is you, your baby, your DH and your routine and own space.

I assume this is your first baby OP?

minnienono · 22/05/2025 17:38

If his sister partner and child live in the U.K., why is there a language barrier, can’t they stay with your parents, and his parents stay with you, seems obvious to me

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 22/05/2025 17:37

babystarsandmoon · 22/05/2025 17:33

They need to stay in a hotel in my opinion.

You will really want your own space in your bedroom to rest or have a break from hosting in.

This. I’ve no idea why you think having 5 extra people in a small house when you are getting used to being parents is a good idea.

My parents flew 5500 miles to meet DD - they stayed in a hotel. My 80 year old nan travelled 500 miles and stayed in a hotel. (we had a 4 bed house at the time). They visited for 2 hours in the late morning and 2 hours max at tea time.

You will be upside down and inside out for weeks if not months. They can’t stay with you.

FloraBotticelli · 22/05/2025 17:37

This is your and DH’s shared home btw - if one of you vetos people staying, that should be the end of the discussion.

If DH won’t accept it, you need to have a conversation with him about having each other’s backs - agreeing to do that is what a partnership/marriage is all about.

CopperWhite · 22/05/2025 17:37

If they are happy to sleep in the living room they can. The ones that live in the UK are making a choice to stay at yours, so if you don’t mind them visiting just let them. They can bring an airbed.

I wouldn’t move out of your home when you’ve just had a baby. You will want to be in your own home with your own things.

Ponderingwindow · 22/05/2025 17:37

You are underestimating life with an infant.

if his sister lives in the uk, why can’t she come visit a different week?

FloraBotticelli · 22/05/2025 17:35

Priority is you, baby and DH being comfy in your home while you get to grips with looking after a newborn and recover from the birth. So I’d say you need to stay in your home.

Visiting family need to arrange somewhere else to stay. That’s way too many people in a 2 bed house - you don’t have room to host people unless you’ve got a massive living space or reception rooms.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 22/05/2025 17:35

they stay in a airb&b or something similar.

Sleeping in the living room is not practical for anyone - where would all their luggage go !
and what if one of them wants to ' go to bed ' earlier or later than the others.

No - and it is a complete sentence.

babystarsandmoon · 22/05/2025 17:33

They need to stay in a hotel in my opinion.

You will really want your own space in your bedroom to rest or have a break from hosting in.