In laws and partners family visiting to see new baby 👶

This sounds absolutely awful and not manageable in any way. If at ALL financially viable, they stay elsewhere entirely. My skin crawls at the thought of anyone in my space that much post partum. X

I think this. I'm assuming it's a cultural thing, and if they're happy to stay let them. I would however investigate nearby airbnbs!

They sound awful.

What kind of weirdos crowd out a family with a brand new baby?

Your DH’s family are being very unreasonable expecting to stay with you when baby is so tiny. We live in a different country to our DD . We agreed in advance of baby being born when we could visit and booked a hotel. Last thing a new mum wants is a houseful of people. Your partner has to tell them they can’t all stay with you.

Your DH and his family are being unreasonable. Honestly they should get an air B&B, but if that’s not possible then I’d be willing to compromise to stay with parents. That should be manageable. But absolutely no to staying in the house with a 1 month old and that many guests!!!

It could work, if they are used to that kind of set up and you get to keep your own bedroom. They will have to be prepared for your wandering into the living room all hours. Are they aware that might happen?

Given you're in Cornwall they can get out of the house a lot of the day time and give you a break.

Sounds horrendous, I'd never do it in a month of Sundays, but to each their own.

I agree with posts that it will be stressful with a one-month old.

I don’t think you should leave your house and stay with your parents - everyone needs to accommodate you and the baby, not the other way around.

Do you have options to still keep your parent’s place as possibility for the guests? Seems a lovely and reasonable offer from them to host the family. Great opportunity to meet too. Sure there is a language barrier but maybe it would be ok with everyone being friendly and trying to get along.

Otherwise, is there room for a little trailer or tent on the property?

How long are they staying?

But he needs to be attending to OP and his newborn, not his parents.

Introduce them to your folks.
They will like each other, hopefully.

After a few days have them move over there.
It will be easy for you to say baby is unsettled, all needing more space etc etc.
Otherwise, you and the baby move to your parent's house for at least a few days at a time, as a respite.

This would be way too much for me. I think you'll really want your own space. I see why his sister wants to come at the same time to see their parents as well, but that's too many people in the house. You will most likely need some space and you won't have it. I wouldn't want to go to your parents because you will probably want your own bed, I think the sister and her family could go to your parents and gives you extra space.

No to you sleeping in the living room and no to you travelling with a newborn to your own house. When you’ve given birth you’ll think back to your suggestions and go why did I even think it was a good idea.
The family all stay in an Airbnb all together and come and visit you. Your parents have offered and it’s been declined because of language which is silly. They’d manage and it would be ok. I’ve just read that you live in a tourist area so Airbnb is pricey - check b&bs, motorway/transport hub hotels.

Options are

1. they take up your parents offer
2. however pricey they pay for an air bnb
3. your partner stays with them and you and the baby go to your parents, his family can them visit you there and your parents can kick the out when it becomes to much

Don’t forget unless it’s a planned birth you could be two weeks late meaning the baby will literally be a newborn. A newborn turns a house upside down , you need to be nesting with the baby and dh not hosting relatives. The sister should stay with your parents if they have to come at the same time/ you should be in your own home focusing on the baby

Do they not feel bad that they've decided to come at the same time and are using you like a hostel when you've just had a baby?

None of them should be staying with you. You will be sore (at best) and need peace to recover and heal.
They need to stay somewhere else.

I would have lost it if I had that many people during the first months. It’s a very bad idea.

I have a one month old and having visitors at all right now would be a strain but there's no way in hell I'd have anyone staying in my living room. Baby has to feed every 3 to 4 hours and struggles to settle at night so there's regular activity throughout the house. Even with a white noise machine any guests wouldn't be getting much sleep. The whole thing sounds way too stressful, you need to be in your home environment with all of your stuff so you can tend to baby and relax.

Can't they hire an Airbnb? At least for his sister and her family. I think it's going to be exhausting for you to be hosting them all and you don't have enough space

Who agreed to this! I couldn’t imagine anything worse, I’m assuming partner and family are close and culturally believe in “it takes a village to raise a baby” this isn’t going to be a positive visit with everyone on top of each other, hormones, bonding time. A month after baby being born even if everything goes well. Sleepless nights and getting a routine will be out the window everyone wanting cuddles and kisses. My first born my MIL (strained relationship) walked in my bedroom around to Moses basket picked baby up and walked out… second I made it clear do not come round when we’re settled we will call up to arrange a visit. Be selfish and make it clear it’s not going to work.

Their visits just need to happen separately. The PIL can visit you then go see their daughter and her family (or vice versa). SIL and her family can come meet the baby at a different time.

ETA: Your solution isn't rude, it's just not realistic with a one-month-old. The amount of stuff you'd have to transport back and forth alone...

I think all of us who have 'been there, done that' with a newborn know that those first few weeks and months are all about your recovery, settling in baby and getting into a routine. You WILL be knackered!

You have no idea what kind of birth you will have (despite making a birth plan) so therefore have no idea how sore/tired you will still be feeling by this point.

Having a new baby, while wonderful, is all consuming and believe me, you won't want them in your space while you are still trying to get into a routine, and feed and settle a possibly cranky baby.

This time, should be all about you and your own new little family not entertaining and putting up with other family members for this amount of time. A visit for an hour or so here and there, fine, but this! It sounds bonkers to me. 😬

Can you book an air BNB elsewhere for all of you? Where are they flying in to? Might be easier to rent a big house so you all have space.

No way would I have people camped out in my living like this.

Sorry OP but it will be too much. They should be staying somewhere else.

Omg you are so patient to have them in your home with a 1 month old! And to be worrying about THEM and not you 😅 honestly it's going to be incredibly cramped, you will feel very claustrophobic, the post partum era is extremely challenging at one end of the scale and at the very least emotional at the other. It's such a maelstrom of hormones, my friends with children told me bit inwas adamant that as a steady and resilient person I'd be fine ... hit me like a ton of bricks! Cant fight that hormone let down. It passes, but last thing I'd want in that stage is a house full all the time.

Even if they all pitch in and do everything and don't expect to be hosted in the traditional sense, it's still alot of people therefore not anywhere for you to go and have some peace except your bedroom.

It's the opposite of rude to go to your parents to give them space tbh, you and the baby are first in that stage, it's one of the few times in life one really should be and deserve to be put first!

I think OP sleeping in the living room will be inappropriate too. You will have no privacy and potentially still healing so I think the only place for a new mum is her own bed.