Needed the toilet while shopping with pram… was I unreasonable?

She’s an employee and a mother herself! It’s not as though you handed your child over to a strange man with a van advertising free candy. 😂

You’re really overthinking this op! Your baby was perfectly safe.

@feelingbaddd YABU. You should have just pissed yourself instead

…I mean, do you think anyone’s actually gonna say that to you? You did nothing wrong,please don’t worry 😊

I love this!!! What an amazing experience.

Oh please chill! This was absolutely fine! She's the manageress - she's not exactly going to be able to leave the premises with a pram without the staff noticing; nor is she going to abuse your child with you just behind the door for the time it takes to pee!

Safeguarding our children is a priority, but there needs to be a sense of proportion and some common sense - which you rightly exercised.

I can remember my mum leaving my baby sister outside shops in the pram!

It sounds like a very sensible thing to do. You used your judgment. You know this lady from being a regular customer.

She was the manager. It was lovely of her to offer. What are you imagining she would do with your child?

It's fine - kind of her to offer. I once peed in a public loo in a park with the cubicle door open because I was too scared to leave the pram out of sight. The things we do!

I had my baby in a sling, needed to feed, ordered a coffee and a massive glass of water,sat outside the tiny cafe because I didn't want to offend the other customer and old lady.

Afterwards I paid up and asked the cafe owner if she'd hold my baby because I desperately needed the loo and it was going to be a bit complicated.
Came out to find her chatting with the old woman.
That woman turned out to be Sally Willington one of the founders of Greenpeace and the pressure group that got fathers into delivery rooms to bear witness to birth and improve medical interventions.
We had more coffee, she held my daughter and it was the most amazing afternoon. A real privilege to meet her. DD is 20 now and involved in Environmental Justice!

I was having lunch in a cafe in Istanbul when my baby was tiny and the couple on the table next to me offered to take him as he was fussing while I was trying to eat. Handed him over without even thinking about it! Looking back it probably wasn't the best idea but needs must!

I really can't sew the issue here. You couldn't fit the pram in and the kind café manager watched your son. She wasn't some strange man you'd never met before.

Don't worry, it's all totally natural, that you judged it safe at the time and that you're reflecting on it now and thinking of the risks. That's normal because your baby's safety is your highest priority so your mind is replaying it to see if it could be done differently in future, but now without the physical pressure of needing a wee! It also highlights how badly the environment is set up for women with babies even though they're a huge part of society. I cringe looking back at times when I did things like had a wee with the public toilet cubicle door open and my pram wedged in the door at train stations and random places. People must have thought I was crazy but I would often find the disabled toilet was locked and there was no other option if I was on my own. And there's comes a point when needing to wee is a desperately painful physical need, you can't just not go, you have to juggle things around baby and make the best of it.

I’ve done the same. Don’t fret.

You weren't being unreasonable, but you are now! Don't overthink it, you left your baby with a reliable member of staff you are familiar with.

I have a double buggy. I've left mine with all manner of random childcatchers for a 15 second wee 🤣

But you didn't need to hesitate though you used your judgement and instinct, this woman wasn't going to harm your baby your brain knew that, she wasn't some stranger on the street and you were literally on the other side of a door having a quick pee.

You were needing the toilet somebody waited with your baby, not everyone is bad there is kind people out there, and you know her don't you?

I also stood with a pram recently whilst the mun took their other child to the toilet.

I think you're overthinking this, I'd have done the same

I voted the wrong way - meant YANBU - what you did is totally fine and normal. Trust your gut. It takes a village and not all of those are people you know brilliantly well - or at all.

I was once in a playground with DD aged 3 and DS tiny baby. DD flung herself off climbing frame and injured herself, needed cleaning up in loos nearby. I took decision to leave DS with large multi-generational family having picnic/bbq nearby, who had seen the incident happen and literally reached out immediately to help me with the baby. I returned from cleaning up DD to find chuckling DS entertaining the entire family and being loved on by all. In a life where I don’t get much help at all, I felt really supported in that moment!

'Twas nothing. I watched a baby the other day while its mum took a toddler to the loo.
I said, 'shall I watch the baby?' she said, 'Could you, thanks.'
Zero drama.

Yes would have done the same.
I think Ive peed with the door open and pram jammed in also before.
Ive also carried baby in and somehow managed to pull pants down and pee with baby on my shoulder.
All the worries about touching the seat out the window when needs must, just get it done and shower later.

You didn’t hesitate because you knew it was fine. You know the woman, she works there, she’s nice, she’s in a public place. No hesitation means you have good instincts, not that you are a careless parent. It’s a really nice thing to do. I’ve offered the same to strangers before now, and I’d always stand there and talk to baby so the mum knows I’m still right there.

People need to pee.

it’s a natural body need.

I wouldn’t think any more of it.

Mainly because I’m sure no one is going to stand by and watch the manager if the coffee shop walk off with someone else’s baby in the middle of their shift and not say anything - nor do I think a manager would wander off in the middle of their shift with a pram thinking it would go unnoticed!!!

I was in a farm cafe with my 9 month old and 2 year old a few years ago - they were munching away and I was suddenly dying for a wee. There were lots of staff free do I asked if they could watch the for 2 minutes while I popped to the individual toilet right next to our table

Don't feel guilty. It's literally 5 mins (if even) there aren't many abductions by employees , cctv, employer will know their name & address.

The cafe manager is not going to suddenly decide to steal your baby from her workplace! Your baby was perfectly safe.