Needed the toilet while shopping with pram… was I unreasonable?

It’s so sad that we think like this- the risk in this situation is really non existent. I remember a lovely lady walking up and down the aisle of a trans-Atlantic flight for ages with my dd who wouldn’t be put down. I realised half way through the flight that she was Nanette Newman (one for the older posters there!) It was 25 years ago, and I still remember her with gratitude..

@FlibbertyGibbitt reminds me of going to an appt in the heart clinic for me when dd3 was 6 weeks old. It was full of very old people and me. The nurses swooped on DD and carried her round to meet the entire department. Made a lovely change for them!

You’ve done nothing wrong. You could hear them the whole time. The vast majority of people are good and like to help.

Someone did the same when I was travelling on the national express, but as a hungover student being handed a crying baby was less lovely

Thing was, we hadn't even left the station yet so I could have easily walked off with her baby. I must have looked trustworthy!

It's fine. I was a receptionist, and minded lots of babies for people while they did something else.

Honestly I think the problem here is that the disabled toilet was out of order. A shame for disabled people.

We stayed in a small apartment complex in Italy when our 2 were small and the older one, about 4, used to disappear into the back room if we went into the games area when it rained and would be found playing with the owners' children.

It takes a village.

I once sat a friend's 18 month old in my trolley when her older child was tired but I then forgot she was there, it was BC, I went through the checkout and was packing to one side, wondering what was wrong with that yelling child. Then I realised, she still speaks to me after almost 50 years!

Oh yes. he had a great repertoire, twist his ear and put his tongue out was a favourite!

This sums it up perfectly

I offered to keep an eye on a toddler in a shopping trolley in the supermarket queue the other day as his mother had just remembered something she needed. He looked a little solemn so to chat to him i said which eye should i keep on you then...........he hesitated, thought very carefully and replied 'both of them'.......made me laugh, told his mum when she came back and she said to be fair with him he needs both👀🤣

When I take my baby swimming I often ask any other lady I can find to hold my baby whilst I go for a wee…better than baby sitting on the toilet floor! Don’t think twice about it

You have done what countless thousands of mothers have done, myself included. I have also been asked many times to keep an eye on a child for a short time. It's perfectly normal.

Do not stress over this. It’s nothing. Time was that people could ask an acquaintance to do exactly this and would return the favour too.

I remember being little and a stranger holding my baby brother for my mum while she got the pram collapsed down to take it on the bus!

It’s what community is for and you do know her, she’s the gal from the coffee shop. In other countries this would be considered wholly normal and a complete non event.

I do understand because you feel so protective over your baby but this wasn’t a random stranger - you’d seen her regularly, you know where she works. Also she is a mum herself (fine to leave your baby with someone who is not a parent too, but this is additional reassurance) and you could hear her. Using the loo is a basic need and you’d have only been gone for couple of minutes.

Realistically what do you think could have happened? She’s the manager of the coffee shop. She not going to run out of the shop with your baby and leg it down the road. Yes she’s a “stranger” but not a “random stranger”.

You exercised good judgement- definitely the right thing to do. She wasn't a stranger.

Be gentle! We all have a wobble now and again, and don’t need a reprimand from a complete (and rather unsympathetic) stranger!

I worked in restaurants through my late teens/early 20s… if one of my regulars came in with their kids, and they needed the toilet i would stay with their kids!. We are not strangers. Sometimes you see staff/regulars more than extended family. When my kids were babies, if I was in a place that i regularly visited and needed the toilet I wouldnt have given it a second thought.

dont let mums guilt eat you up!

Absolutely! You didn’t leave your baby with a complete stranger. In effect, after all this time, you knew her. Where do you think she could have gone if she had stolen your baby? She is the manager! If she had taken the baby, the staff would have known her address etc.
I am a great-grandmother and have been very hands-on with all my four grandchildren. My great-grandchild is new born, but I shall be hands-on with him too, as soon as I can be. Your fear is understandable, particularly in this day and age, but you did the right thing, asking someone you are familiar and friendly with to mind the baby. If you had asked a random member of the public to do the same, I might have had a bit of a wobble but you didn’t. If it’s any help, in your position, I would have done exactly the same.
Please don’t give it another thought. You sound like a caring, risk-aware and capable mother. Just relax a little, and carry on using your common sense as you obviously are doing. And most of all, enjoy your baby!

I had to run into a coffee shop with DC1 when he was potty training, didn't have time to find someone to open the barrier to get the buggy through. Saw a table of obviously over retirement age ladies having a morning coffee and asked them to watch DC2 - left with a table of complete strangers 😮still can't quite believe I did that! At least you vaguely knew who you left your baby with!

100% fine. We have to take tiny calculated risks with our children sometimes. I have a baby and a two year old - I’ve had to ask strangers and people I barely know to hold my baby when my son has desperately needed the toilet or whatever!

I think you just need to focus on the fact that your baby is absolutely fine!

You had no reason to hesitate. You were leaving your child with someone you know, and she was within earshot at all times. You did nothing wrong.