Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

@WaterBed A 57 year old would turn 70 the year his child became a teenager at 13 years old. This just doesn’t seem right on so many different levels. Sure there are the odd stand out cases but the average man at 70 (never mind one that’s had the last 13 years additionally exhausted by raising a newborn to a young child), is generally not going to be compatible with the energy of their 13 year old and beyond. Also, there is the consideration of the child likely being constantly anxious about the health of his dad, not to mention potential embarrassment (rightly or wrongly) of being different to their other dads. It just seems very selfish to me. OP said he could justify it because he could very likely raise it at least to adulthood and bring a wealth of knowledge. Sure. But you should be able to bring that young child everything. Wealth of experience- and longevity of expectation to be around to at least when most other dads are to the age of them turning at least 40 or so. Would’ve been better to adopt if it was wealth of experience you wanted to pas on.

That's great, but it's certainly the exception that proves the rule.

It’s absolutely fine. I’m much more concerned about whether people have the financial means and moral compass to bring up a child than what age they are when child is born. Plenty of younger parents rely on the State to fund their children and don’t have the emotional maturity to put the children’s needs ahead of their own (anyone else seeing a trend of parents saying they “deserve” a holiday etc?!). They’re the ones whose children I’d be worried about!!

Far too old imho, and that also goes for women who have babies at 50.
I had older parents - they were in their early 40s when they had me and both were dead by 71, my dad dying in his late 50s.
The dad may not feel it now, but who'd want to have a teenager about the place in their early 70s for a start.
So it's a no from me.

Looking after yourself does not protect you from older age health conditions.

I think it isn't in the child's best interests at all.

If the child is already here it's a bit late to ask the question, but if given the choice beforehand - do I try for a baby with my partner at 57 then in my opinion it's too old. I had a baby at 45 (met DH relatively late) and tbh I'm starting to think 45 was too old and it was a selfish thing to do (natural conception if it makes any difference). I don't regret it for myself as I love being a parent, but I worry about DC's future and what it's going to be like for them. No matter how healthy I am, I will still be old. Different situation but I asked my Dad at 70 what he thought about becoming a dad again now (because a celebrity his age had just done so) and his answer was absolutely no way!

There's research that shows children born to older fathers are much more at risk of autism, depression, mental health issues.

That would be my main concern.

No one should become a parent at 57.

No one should become a parent in their 50’s. It’s far too old

My dad was in his 50s when I was born. I didn't know any different as to whether this was strange. Mind you, he had tonnes of energy, travelled the world into his 80s until a stroke. He still managed to visit us abroad and see all his grandchildren born, and lived until 100. He is probably the exception though!

I think he did feel the pressure to provide for a young family when he should have been thinking about retirement. Just my experience.

My best friend growing up, her dad was 57 when she was born. Despite same age/being older than most of our friendship circles grandparents, he was pretty fit and healthy until he died at 70 when she turned 13. She’s never quite got over it, not least because it was a choice to have her so late and risk her having to grow up without a dad

i am 57 and if I knew nothing about having children I’d say I could do it.

But I do know, and I think it’s incredibly dicey unless you’re in an amazing financial position as a minimum.

My child is 18 and I wonder how much time I have before I become someone he needs to worry about. I wouldn’t expect him to care for me ever, but you would still be a potential drain.

Not great because at 57 you are much more likely to have a child with high needs and they are likely to be very badly impacted (on top of the grief that anyone would have) if you die early in their life rather than being able to help arrange things for them/do paperwork/support their best interests well into their adulthood.

Dont agree with it personally, but I wouldnt do it so not really something that affects me. Each to their own, for me I just wouldnt want a toddler when im ready to retire and enjoy my later years in peace. I do think its selfish on the kid, my grandad had children after my mum did, so I basically have 2 aunts younger than me. My grandad is mid eighties and his 2 daughters probably wont have their dad around by age 35. I think we still need our parents at that age, id be devastated to not have my parents here with me now. Yes anything can happen at any age but you're playing with fire imo.

A man in his 50s could be a good dad but I think it’s harder than being in your 20s-40s because of things like energy levels and being ok with not retiring or sleeping. IME relationships where there’s a big age gap are more likely to be unbalanced in terms of how much housework etc is done so more likely that mum is left doing more than 50%

Depends on the man and the circumstances

Utterly selfish.

Absolutely true. But if you were a 61 year old with a 4 year old you’d probably be considerably more tired, and if you were 74 with a 17 year old you’d definitely be.

Sorry what? Your post is unintelligible

I think the fact that women go through menopause while men do not is nature's way of saying that men are less important to the survival rates of their offspring than women, i.e their contribution to child rearing is less significant. I know it's not in line with popular thinking but evolution is undeniable. So in that respect, it really doesn't matter.
It's socially irresponsible though - I hope he's picked a very resilient partner because the chances of her having to shoulder a disproportionate share of the burden is fairly large. Been there, got the t-shirt, as have many other single mums.

As you can’t turn back time, is there another choice?

It’s not the 50’s, it’s not necessary to be married to reproduce.

Are you ok??

There's a dad of a kid in my 8 year old DS's class who's in his early 60's and he always looks absolutely shattered. Having an kid at that age is full on.