Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

He'd be 70 when the child is 13!

Much too old. I'm 68 now and the thought of having teenagers around, even at my age, horrifies me.

We did ask that 20 - 30 years ago. When we were fit and able.

Exactly, I know of someone who has just died whose wife fell pregnant after he had received the diagnosis of a brain tumour. His son isn’t two yet. Are they just as selfish as the 50+ parent?

Yeah, it’s too old. Won’t stop people from doing it though as people tend to be selfish and put their needs first. They can do some amazing mental gymnastics and genuinely believe they’ll be a great parent because of their wealth of experience and cannot fathom that they could experience significant health issues before the child is an adult. (Aware this can happen anyway, but far far more likely at 60 than 30).

"The child" doesn't exist.

If the child is loved, go for it.

Far too old

I guess when you bring that into it we are only talking about fathering a child he hasn't done the full run with any of his kids yet.
Bail out Boris.

Very prescient thread with news about Boris fathering his (8th?) kid at 60!

I'm not far off 57 and of course it is old to be a parent of a newborn.

But even if you can argue that 57 is still relatively young, having a baby this age means having teenaged children in your 70s, and that is way too old.

Just thought to add to the conversation. My partner of 9 years (54M) and I (29F) are about to have our first in the upcoming weeks. Before meeting me he suffered multiple pregnancy losses with partners and even with me we suffered one.
We're happy and both looking forward to the future. Is it selfish? Maybe but in the end it's our life. We also had a friend who found love later in life after his wife left him after 20 years. Had his first child in his 50s and is now over 70s with children who are all almost in adulthood. Happiest he's ever been.
Enjoy bubz

Must be brilliant to be married to Superman. That’s beyond unusual.

I know plenty of dads who are far less energetic than my DH. If you think 57 is old, wait til you get there and see how you feel. At 57 DH was working 50+ hours a week in a top level professional job and still shouldered the burden of the baby/toddler stage at weekends.

DH was 56 when we had our DC. I’m 20 years younger. He’s an excellent, very hands on dad in many ways and, now he is retired, he’s been great supervising GCSE revision. DC is a teenager now and at 71 DH is definitely slowing down a bit cognitively which frustrates DC, but DH is still very fit and active and I can’t see that changing any time soon. I have started to worry slightly about what life looks like in 5 years time, but I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I can only assume your kids don't go to a very diverse school. We have Moms and Dads of all ages, Grnadads, Nans, Aunts, friends, all sorts doing pick ups. And we have parents ranging from their twenties upwards. I really doubt any of the kids care or notice given everyone is old to them. More likely parents like you causing the comments.

Too old.

It is selfish because it means a limited amount of energy when it comes to looking after babies/toddlers and putting the burden of care on the younger partner.

Also being in your 70s with teenage kids is just daft. Not to mention then putting a potential burden of elderly care on adult children in their 20s.

I never understand women who have kids with much older partners. Absolutely not fair on the kids.

Too old. I had my last baby at 40 and I thought that was a bit old.
57 is craz6, you could be dead before they're 20.

It's too old. Even when people are having kids later. Dh was 40 when we started having ours and even that can feel a big gap at times. But at least they'll be earning their own money by the time he retires.

My dad was 56 when he had another child. Died aged 71 when she was 15 during her exam year.
There's higher risk of mental health conditions and neuro conditions passed on by older fathers. Just cos they can doesn't mean they should.

I'd presume that you're going to be doing most of the childcare and parenting whilst your partner returns to work and that you have significant savings and pension provision to raise the child to 21 ( you'll only be 78). I'd also assume that you have no age related or health conditions that would prevent you from a full time parenting role and that you were active in parenting if you have prior children.
I'd also presume that as a mature sperm donor and an older mums eggs you went into this pregnancy fully aware of the potential risks to mother and child.

I'd say with no prior parenting experience and traditional expectations of the mother...that's not good for partnership and child.

Their vast wealth and fame doesn’t impact on their idiocy.

It’s so very variable, isn’t it. I have school friends who have grandchildren at secondary school! Meanwhile my older DH didn’t have children until mid-50s. For my own family, my grandparents were not far off 70 when I was born.

If it’s the right man/partner with the right attitude and enough financial stability it works brilliantly though. We’ve got the advantages of having a SAHP (someone always available in case of kid illness, no childcare costs) but without the problems (still have two incomes, no one is missing out on pension contributions and NI!). He’s probably fitter than I am as has the time to exercise during the day as well as doing the housework.

And parenting seems to get less physical the older the kids are. Babies and toddlers are a lot of lifting and carrying and more full on play. By the end of primary school it’s more about listening and being available, it feels like? Plus getting them to social events all over the place.

What other term? WTF are you on about?
Is your partner 57 and you've just given birth?
Is your polyamorus DSIL pregnant with her GF but her DH is 57?

This is what happened with my dad who was 50 when I was born. He was 12 years older than my mother. He retired when he was 60 and did all the cleaning and housework. Sadly he died aged 67.

I'm mid 40s with a 13 year old. There's no way I'd want to go back to having a baby again now, let alone in 10 years time. It's not just the baby years, it's the expense of teen / university that I assume we'll be funding in my early 50s. Once dd is out of that I'd like to start winding down at work. The idea of having to continue earning at the rate I do now into my 70s feels crazy to me. Plus I can't wait for holidays during term time again!

Just depends on what your normal is. My dad had 4 grandchildren by the age of 53 having had his first grandchild at 47. So it obviously seems bonkers to me. The idea of an older dad retiring a few years early and being a homemaker / SAHP, around during the teen years when kids need you SO MUCH in the afternoon and evening, appeals to me though.