Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

I don’t think God has anything to do with dirty old men chasing younger women. Although it has been a thing since time began.

This is one of those situations were socio-Eco circumstances matter enormously.

55 year-old consultant Dad with a walloping great £2 million pension that he can take at any time and put his feet up.
Fine
55 year old Dad in any kind of manual or mid-level management role where he’s only gonna get a 30 grand a year pension and it’s probably gonna defer that for as long as possible, renting.

Not fine

Door numbers.

My godfather became a first time dad in his 60s. He’s 80 now, pretty fit, and his son is at university and thriving - polite, sensible, seems well-balanced.

I think it depends what kind of a person you are, but it definitely can work.

Get decent life insurance for the sake of your child. Plenty of people die in their 60s. My dad died at 67, your child would only be 10. Children are expensive until well into their 20s if you want to provide them with as many educational opportunities as possible.

Not up to us, it is up to God.

Hah I actually find that funny. 😁

It's not ideal but then many of us don't have kids in ideal.circumstances. I wouldn't plan it that way but if that's how it then just make the best of it.

That was ivf

I still don't get the 55 joke.

Seems to have worked out well for Simon Cowell.

I don’t think it is ideal. The chances of disability and autism increase with older fathers. Not that this is a reason to not have a child- of course disabled and autistic children are wonderful and loved by their families. But having a child with additional needs tends to make life quite a lot harder.

But I do realise it’s just the way things go sometimes. My best friend got her one and only chance to have a baby with a man in this age bracket and I totally understood her choice to have a baby with him. Their child is wonderful and adored. But the Dad is pretty tired! (And constantly mistaken for her grandfather.)

@Flamingoknees I am nearly 62 and have a 16-year-old. It's fine. (DH is younger though).

Depends entirely on your health and your ability to provide for mother and child if you were to pop your clogs before the child is able to support him or herself.

Mortgage paid off or mortgage insurance policy paid up.
Large amount in savings.
Life insurance for a large amount and very few exclusions.

Will made and in good order.

After that, it's up to the woman whether she wants to have a baby with you.
Obv there are situations like mail order brides that are unacceptable/ exploitative and should not happen.

I don't understand the post.

What does "Ok yo become a Dad" mean?

And what does "i really hope so - I only live at 55" mean?

Yeah this. Already abdicating responsibility for the poor kid.

average life expectancy for 57 year old man is 84 - so by then half the fathers would be dead. Not a great idea.

I was 36 and DH was 53 when we had our DS. I guess it all depends on what he's like. My DH is very fit and has alot more energy than I do even though I'm younger. Obviously if it's a 57yo who acts like an old man and has many health issues then it's not really fair to the child or it's mother who will end up doing everything for the child. If he's fit and healthy then no it's not an issue at all

Our ex MP is becoming a father at 58 so we were actually discussing this the other day.

My husband and I are in our 50s but are younger than him but we were both horrified at the idea of a new born again at our age.

There's a few blokes i know who have started second families in their 50s. More than one and they become a bit broken esp if grandkids involved

Oh that's a good joke actually 👏👏👏

Sorry, but I wouldn’t. I think it might turn out OK for the child if the mother is very significantly younger.

My parents were both 45 when I was born and it was hard, really hard for all of us, Dad had his first heart attack when I was seven and died when I was 18. My Mum was very disabled by arthritis and dementia by the time I was at university (I went at 21 due to failing my A levels) and couldn’t from then on take an active part in my life, she died when I was 30.

My DH is 54, same as me and his parents are fit and active 80 year olds. It absolutely amazes me how much more successful and even normal every aspect of his life has been due to his parents being younger.

I'm thinking the same.
A 57 year old dad needs better Dad Jokes 😂

No I don't think it is OK. But as it's already happened, what can we do?

Parenting is physical labour. Children need to do sports and activities, go camping, ride bikes etc. Schools are more than ever reliant on parent help and input. Is a 70 year old man going to want to spend 8 hours every weekend driving the kid to football / rugby, standing for hours in all weathers, joining in with the dads tournament, carrying the gazebos at the summer fair? Is a pensioner going to have the money to put down on school trips, university fees, new phones, driving lessons?

It’s the age when people would be grandparents rather than parents.

I can’t say I’d fancy getting child benefit and my state pension at the same time!

I'm holding up my hands here - I married a man 20 yrs my senior and hoped for motherhood. It would have meant that he would have been a father at about that age, and I agonised over how it would affect future children. As it turned out, I only ever miscarried.

On the other hand, DH's daughter had a partner with the same age difference. He was, I think, 55 when he became a father again. (His first two were grown.)

He was a SAHD while the daughter worked. (She had a high earning job; he was offered redundancy/early retirement.) He prided himself on how 'young' he was.

He died of a heart attack about 9 years later. He hadn't even thought to make a will, really leaving my stepdaughter in the mire for a while: they had finally decided to get married and she'd handed in her notice, intending to have a couple of years off work.

By contrast, my late husband made his will and also organised life insurance to cover his funeral. If the dad in the OP has any sense, he has to sort out a will etc.