Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

And Rod Stewart!

ExDP was 54 and 56 when the DCs were born. He’s 76 now and still working full time. He was absolutely useless as a parent but that has nothing to do with his age and everything do with his narcissistic personality.

I don't understand the question at all

What on earth is going on

One of my daughter’s friends has a Dad who must have been in his fifties when she was born. He’s been “retired” since she reception in the way that a lot of tradesmen are “retired”, ie he still picks up the occasional job if he likes the look of it and can do it on his terms. He does all the school runs, is always planning activities for his daughter (only child). Yes it is likely she will have to deal with the death of a parent much earlier in life than her peers, but right now she’s getting a fantastic relationship with an amazing dad. Given the awful situations many children have with their dads I honestly think there are far bigger issues with some men becoming fathers than their age.

You…wouldn’t happen to be the much younger British girlfriend of a certain infamous 57-year-old American who’s just been resentenced from life without parole to life with parole, are you?

My father did this at 60, with a woman of 38 that he barely knew and who proved to be vile. He died 12 years later from a rare form of dementia. It was a profoundly selfish thing for them to have done. I actually wonder if he was already suffering the earliest effects of the dementia when he did it.

@WetBandits play doesn’t have to be running around. It can be reading a book, going out in the pushchair and going to see things. It might be watching a video, playing with building bricks on the carpet and similar. Not everyone is past it at 57 or even 60.

It’s because they didn’t really tell it properly. The old joke goes something like:

I’m having the best sex of my life at 67! It’s a shame because I live at 22.

My dhs dad was in his late 60s when dh was born and died when dh was a year old. Having said that dh had a happy childhood and his dad left enough that his mum was able to care for him etc. Its not ideal but im certainly glad he was born!

No way. My friend’s DH is 60 (she’s 42) and they have a toddler. He has grandchildren older than his youngest daughter. He admits he cannot keep up with a toddler, and it’s sad because she is missing out on playtime with her Dad, and he will likely be dead by the time she reaches early adulthood.

I know parents can die at any age (my mum was only 53) but I think it’s too old purely based on the fact you’re unlikely to know your kids into adulthood. My own dad was very close to my son (whose own dad is a waste of space) and he was only 18 when he died. It was heartbreaking as he was his main father figure and very close.

It’s mad. Grandparent at 57, sure, but parent of a newborn? Just no.

It’s weird when Hollywood millionaires do it, never mind normal people unable to hire endless staff.

My son has a friend whose dad is as old as most grandparents. As the mum works, the dad has the boy most of the time. His dad has a dodgy back and knees and just hasn't got the energy or ability to keep up with his son.

May be not!

I had ds in my 20’s and his dad disappeared and we moved back to near family. I worked so ds went to and from school with a CM.

my dad use to collect ds from school sometimes and people thought he was his dad! He was in his 50’s!!!

My dad was 48 (turned 49 the week after I was born). I’m now in my early twenties.
In the last 5-10 years most of his friends (same age) have had serious health issues (cancer for example), several have died. My dad is in pretty good physical health and works out regularly; but there are definite worries there, especially with regards to cognition. He’s no longer a safe driver.
We recently had the chat about inheritance and power of attorney etc, I think this would be pretty tough to do with a young teenager. He’s also now past the age when both his brother and his dad died so it’s quite worrying.
I think having a kid at 57 is going to mean your child is very likely to have to deal with you being seriously ill, or even dying, before they’re 20. It may also result in caring responsibilities from a young age. And maybe consider whether you would be physically capable of caring for a disabled child, (Which is more likely due to your age if it’s biologically yours).

This thread's a little bit like pulling teeth OP.

I can't help thinking you'd get a better discussion if you weren't being so mysterious.

Well you’re right you can be ill and not need medication. I am one of those.

And yes many people ARE ill/unhealthy very early on. And this has a knock on effect as people get older.

In the case of type 1 diabetes, peoole have a reduced life expectancy kf about 10 years (this will obviously depend a lot on how do,igeant they e been with their own treatments). So in the OP’s case, this would be significant

As I said, I know what the joke is supposed to be. But as presented by the OP it doesn't work.

My dad was 52 when I was born, far too old IME. As well as all the practical limitations caused by his age I was also bullied throughout my school years about my "grandad"(my actual paternal grandfather died of old age before I was born).

It's not ideal but I suspect the majority of men who become fathers in mid 50s would rather it wasn't the case and are either appeasing their younger partners, or were unlucky in life or love and are now taking their opportunity for happiness, but with the regret that it hadn't all worked out differently when they were 35.

I had my first (and last) child when DH was 50, and it’s been really hard on him to start over. He doesn’t have as much energy for parenting a toddler that I think a parent should have, and generally he takes pretty good care of himself, health-wise. But I think that’s where it’s really an individual issue— I’ve met men older than DH who seemed much younger and more lively, and men who were younger who were much worse off than DH. So if you’re full of vitality at 57, you can still be a good parent to your youngest.

Though, it is important to consider mortality and the length of time you’ll be in your childrens’ lives. I recognize DD will probably have her dad in her life for significantly less time than average, and that’s not really fair to her.

The pros to having older parents? They can impart greater wisdom from their life experience, and they’re generally more mature and financially secure.

Anyone can die young. A mum I knew recently died at 39 of cancer. We are thinking of trying with our last embryo soon. My husband is 54. Obviously I am younger in my thirties.

I think in general it’s a bit old, I mean going to be 80 ish by the time they graduate uni. Some people are sprightly 80 year olds but it’s not guaranteed. Lots of people will develop care needs/ dementia in their 70s. I think it’s really unlikely you’d see them marry or have grandchildren tbh.

No it's bonkers. You are lying to yourself if you think there is no physical and cognitive decline at 57 versus younger ages. Yes, some people age better or can make steps to slow it down, but you are nowhere near a 40 year old that has comparable lifestyle in terms of energy levels.

When the joke is told the don’t say the guy lives at 57 just the guy at 57 has become a dad. The audience then think the joke teller is referring to his age but the next line I live at 55 is the punch line.