Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

When it's 50/50 they will split the CB. CB is based on the current time - in some cases it chops and changes quite regularly.

I've never heard of HMRC preferring the status quo - the family courts yes, but HMRC just go with whatever information they have to determine the current position.

I don't have any particular insight into this, but logically if the circumstances changed it wouldn't really be fair to continue with status quo.

OP DID GET BOTH CB BUT ACTUALLY XP HAD EVERY RIGHT TO GET AT LEAST ONE OF THE CB ON A 50/50 CARE SPLIT

Do they typically split kids like that in cases where someone has already been claiming for all kids for several years? Genuinely curious. I thought HMRC were fans of keeping the status quo?

Don't forget paying above the required amount of child support before it was "50/50."

Oh, and in spite of all that’s happened, he’s still choosing to be generous towards you by not claiming from you the maintenance he is legally owed. All he wants is reimbursement of the money you fraudulently claimed.

Of course you won’t acknowledge that either.

What, the injustice of him allowing you both sets of child benefit and £300 a month when you were entitled to neither?

You allowed yourself to be governed by what you feel you should be entitled to, rather than accepting the actual reality of the situation (a reality that was already very favorable to you, mind you). That was rank stupidity.

He’s got a case open for me but I haven’t paid anything because he said he didn’t want any money he was just opening it to protect himself!! I also don’t see why I should given I shouldered most of the costs and sacrificed my career for all those years whilst he was swanning off.

You've previously stated he paid you £1000 a month when you were the primary carer.

You're re-writing history in a bid to convince yourself you are hard done by.

For the sake of the children I truly hope this is a troll post because if not you are on a path to completely alienating your children forever.

The money is meant to pay for half of the extra living expenses that the CHILD incurs by living with you. Higher energy bills, food costs, clothing for them, school stuff. £1000 a month is more than enough to cover half of the living expenses for two kids.

It's not payment for parenting them.

It's completely unworkable to suggest that the NRP should pay the RP for every minute of parenting time.

Agree.

They probably sensed the fact they are walking meal tickets to you OP.

OP, if you had started a thread saying 'My XP now has the kids 50.50 but didn't for years, he does still pay me some voluntary CM but it doesn't make up for the years he didn't do much and my career took a back seat, just wanted to have a vent about it being unfair' - you would have got a fair bit of sympathy. But that's not what your threads were about.

You tried to financially penalise your ex by claiming additional CMS that you were not entitled to, and you have cost him a lot of legal fees fighting you

He did not start this, you did

^OP the first time she was warned to step off the path she was hellbent on going down.

These particular children are very familiar with being raised by their father, given that he already had them more than 50% of the time when she decided to pursue maintenance from him. Despite this, he was happy for her to claim both sets of child benefit and give her £300 a month entirely voluntarily (this apparently doesn’t count as ‘compensation’ though).

The CMS gave her advice based on the information she gave them. This isn’t a case of bad advice, but of bad information. When everything started to blow up in her face she was repeatedly told to stop, or at the very least speak to a solicitor. She did neither.

OP’s kids are teenagers, and were well aware that something was going on given the complete breakdown of what was an amicable co-parenting relationship. Their father decided to be honest with them as to the reason why (tbh I’m not convinced that OP wasn’t making barbed comments about their father, as she saw it, failing to financially support her them). It’s not like he would even need to spin it in his favor for them to form a negative opinion of OP’s actions/OP, given that people have done that on here with OP trying to spin it in her favor. He chose not to lie to, or hide information from, them in order to protect their mother’s reputation. He hasn’t alienated them from her, she has.

OP’s injuries are entirely self inflicted. Based on her unwillingness to take responsibility for her own actions and the result of them, she will undoubtedly continue to inflict them going forward.

I re-read all your posts on this thread and your other thread and I think it’s very sad that your desire to avenge your ex for swanning off and dumping you with the kids has resulted in this outcome and you still can’t let it go or see your role in it.

you set out to punish him and it backfired on you

you do not seem overly upset about the kids.. still mostly upset about your ex. Sometimes I question if this is a real thread or a made up scenario because can anyone be this pig headed?

when you were left with the kids and your £1000pm and 2 x CB you have never mentioned anything about if the kids found this hard to miss their dad, just you found it hard and resent it. Perhaps the kids are making up for lost time with their dad and he has realised what he missed out on and tried to fix it with them before it’s too late.

could you not be happy for the kids they had both parents in their lives equally?

To put things right you need to let go of all this resentment and accept your situation, and make peace with the decisions that led you here.

Well that certainly makes me stand by my original comment that I imagine this was the straw that broke the camel's back when it came to your children moving in with their father.

Arrrgghhh this is so frustrating to read! You aren’t getting it are you?! You misrepresented the situation to CMS, got one possible scenario from them and are now blaming them and refusing to take any responsibility for your terrible decisions.

the scary thing is that even now you are obsession over money and your ex (who is very much NOT the narcissist out of the two of you) rather than the sad consequence of your greed which is you are losing a relationship with your children, you seem completely indifferent to the emotional impact of all this.

frankly you sound like a grabby, entitled brat who deserves everything you get here, not that you will ever be self-aware enough to realise it! Awful behaviour.

I also don’t see why I should given I shouldered most of the costs and sacrificed my career for all those years whilst he was swanning off.

Because, for the 101st time, it goes on the situation NOW, not what happened in the past or on what seems fair or common sense to you.

The bald facts are, the kids now spend more than 50% of their time with him, so he is the RP, you are the NRP and he could very fairly claim maintenance.

Have you actually read or taken in a single comment on your threads about this? At all?

OK, but....

1. who does the child spend most of their time with when they are not at school, nursery or childcare - THIS WAS 50/50
2. who pays for most of the child’s clothes and meals - PRESUME MEALS WERE ALSO 50/50. CLOTHES MAY NOT HAVE BEEN
3. who arranges and pays for any childcare costs - NONE, AS DC ARE TEENAGERS
4. who is the usual contact for the child`s school and, or child-minder - PROBABLY OP
5. whose GP and dentist is the child registered with and who arranges appointments and accompanies the child - SEEMS OP DID A BIT MORE BUT XP DID THE PRIVATE MEDICAL SO MAYBE 60/40
6. who has the greatest involvement with the child`s recreational activities and is responsible for paying for them - SOUNDS LIKE BOTH PAID TOWARDS EG SCHOOL TRIPS SO 50/50
7. who already receives any fnancial support for the child, such as benefts or local authority assistance." - OP DID GET BOTH CB BUT ACTUALLY XP HAD EVERY RIGHT TO GET AT LEAST ONE OF THE CB ON A 50/50 CARE SPLIT

@Shefliesonherownwings others have explained it to you but OP also tried to leverage the fact that she did more than her ex previously in the decade or so before he changed his work schedule to have the DC on a 50/50 basis.

She has become entrenched in believing that he owes her from these previous years prior to 50/50, and took this action to try to compensate herself historically.

The mistake she made was the time difference technically, as by the time she tried to claim from him, he already had the kids 50/50.

She continued to pursue it believing he owed her money from the last 10 years and this was how she would recover it. This is why everyone told her not to do it, because it was out of date by this time, and that he would win based on what their situation is now.

She didn’t listen

It transpired he had been paying her £1000pm maintenance the entire time anyway, and when it went to 50/50 he was still paying it - just less than before at £300pm.

So she went after him for MORE money as she felt the reduction was too much. Following chasing him for more CMS, he applied for and won 1 x child benefits for their child leaving her with 1 (1 each). This angered her even more so she continued to pursue him and now here we are

I don't think the OP remotely got bad advice - I think the Op only listened to the parts of the advice she was given that backed her opinion that she was the primary carer and went with that.

For all she says CMS advised her incorrectly they will have been advising based on what she was telling them. Someone telling CMS they have the CB, they have the children more of the time, they do all of the work with the children regarding school, doctors, dentist etc will be told they're entitled to maintenance. However, that was simply the OP's interpretation of the situation based on historic timings rather than the reality at the time.

I meant advice from real life places. Not the information she was given on mumsnet. I have not read the previous post but it sounds like she had the plan before she even posted on mumsnet about it .