Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

He was paying you maintenance out of principle. He was paying £300 when you were owed none, so £300 more than required. Yet you still wanted more.

And he paid you £1000 a month when he had the children less.

So telling the children - teenagers who are old enough to ask questions that need answered - that he's always paid his way and you went after more isn't twisting things. It's just accurate.

Your steadfast refusal to listen to any advice other than that that agreed and refusal to accept the chances offered to you by your ex to back down with you has been your downfall. You'll never rebuild your relationships until you accept responsibility

But, as he has the children 100% of the time, surely you should willingly give him maintenance. Out of principle.

It cant be so simple as they wont speak to you because you wanted him to pay more ? Kids are not usually that involved in the money side . Well they shouldnt be anyway .
Must be more to why they wont speak to you .
I hope you can get it sorted.

But as posters have said, time and time again, it’s not about what happened in the past. CMS is based on what is happening now.

You’re the one who took things too far. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

By the way, are you giving him maintenance now as it’s no longer 50/50?

There was no twisting.

You pushed for more money and even when he offered an out you still wanted to be proven right and well you were proven wrong and lost both your children.

He was already paying you when he clearly did not need to, you already got the child benefit. You were greedy. You scarified your children for cash.

can’t twist that.

Even if my ex had tried to get money from me when he wasn’t really entitled to, do you think it would have been appropriate for me to say hey kids, your dad is trying to scam me out of some money for you kids and start slagging him off? That’s my point, this kind of stuff should be kept between waring parents and not drag children into it. They are then obliged to take sides and always the case that they are influenced one way and don’t get the full picture. Leave children out of adults business. That is my point. I don’t care who is right or wrong with who should pay whom what. Kids shouldn’t know anything about that.

You don't know that he did any of this. My ex thinks that I "poisoned" our kids against him, but I've never said a bad word about him to them. They saw his behavior and made their own judgment, which resulted in them not having a relationship with him. OP had proven herself, at the very least, to be an unreliable narrator.

Deleted as not read updates

OP was told that she could claim. There is misinformation on the CMS webpage, and needs addressing. Why allow claims and give out incorrect advice.

Even if my ex had tried to get money from me when he wasn’t really entitled to, do you think it would have been appropriate for me to say hey kids, your dad is trying to scam me out of some money for you kids and start slagging him off? That’s my point, this kind of stuff should be kept between waring parents and not drag children into it. They are then obliged to take sides and always the case that they are influenced one way and don’t get the full picture. Leave children out of adults business. That is my point. I don’t care who is right or wrong with who should pay whom what. Kids shouldn’t know anything about that.

You could but only if you completely ignore the fact that before you went on this fool's errand he was happy for you to claim all the CB plus he was voluntarily paying you £300 a month.

But that wasn't enough for you. And even when you started down this path and he gave you more than one chance to back down, your greed blinded you to reality and you only listened to what you wanted to hear.

I'm genuinely sorry that your children have turned their backs on you but this is a consequence of your choices.

he hasn’t turned his children against the OP. she did that all by herself. She’s the one who destroyed her relationship with them but clearly because she’s a woman you want to blame him.

Sorry but OP didn’t put her DC first she put greed first. She’s the one with awful behaviour but as I said you’ll stand by her purely because she’s a woman and therefore can do nothing wrong. Shame

That’s so sad that it’s come to this. I do hope you can re-build your relationship with your DC one day. My ex paid me a big fat zero over 15yrs (until I put my foot down and he gave me a lump sum) but do you know how much of that my kids knew? None of it. As i’d have never said to my children that the father they loved never paid a penny for them directly to me. So not sure why people are justifying this dad turning his children against OP.

Children don’t need to be dragged into this kind of thing. My ex even moved overseas 3 times and do you think I used that to point score and make the kids believe their dad didn’t care as much about them as I did? Absolutely not. I’d have been so upset if my children’s relationship with their dad broke down. Sorry but this dad is not putting his DC first and just using this to point score. Awful behaviour.

I'm not surprised this was the outcome. I followed both threads and it's clear the money meant more to you than the wellbeing of your children.

OP, CMS may well have advised you poorly.

But it was you that doubled down when poster after poster and thread after thread, you were told “it doesn’t work like that”.

You could have chosen to drop your claim and apologise to your ex for quite a while, but you refused to believe you were wrong.

And you didnt give them the rest of the relevant info.....

I also thought you may have reflected on your behaviour and be ready to accept responsibility but no, you're just here to whinge again.

NOTHING will change until you bloody well realise what you've done.

Im out, I'd get more sense out of a concrete block.

Literally nothing is ever your fault is it?

I thought you came back because, after a period of reflection, you were ready to accept responsibility and tell everyone we were right.

Looks like you just came back to further whine about the repercussions of your own actions and continue to blame everyone except yourself.

Good luck!

Do you actually want a relationship with your children? Because if so, you need to find a way to stop repeating this and, at least, pretend to accept responsibility.

CMS advise on info YOU give them. You told them you were primary carer therefore they advised based on that. You omitted all the other relevant circumstances that were pertinent. Which is what you stubbornly refuse to see, and which is what landed you in this mess. You'll never admit it, so the whole woe is me wailing is grating to those who offered you advice and pointless for you to be doing.

Only 1 person is at fault here. Its not CMS, its not your ex, its YOU

It was YOUR fault. Not CMS and not your ex. Accept that and maybe you'll be able to move forward with your children one day.