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Original poster

Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

665 replies

ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 14:44

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

I can’t write on the previous thread anymore, so I’ve created this one for people interested in the outcome of the CMS case. I’m committed to telling people what the outcome is regardless of whether it goes my way or not.

Page 31 | Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! | Mumsnet

Me and my ex share 50/50 of our two children, it’s not court ordered but has been in place for the past few years. A few months ago I put in a claim f...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5294980-child-benefit-rival-claim-ex-partner-earning-loads?reply=144269354

OP posts:
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7
myplace · 29/06/2025 07:35

I’m sorry you are having a hard time.

Doing things amicably is always better if possible- it’s just so unpredictable once you are in a hostile situation.

ARichtGoodDram · 29/06/2025 07:35

He has since emailed me saying we can still reach an amicable agreement about finances, or he will open a counter claim against me for the child he now receives the benefit. He will also continue to challenge the CMS case for the second child. He also intends to continue the court process if I don’t agree.

Hopefully you've had the sense to agree to this?

CMS has repeatedly told me I am primary carer too, it’s not just me being indignant as someone else said.

You still don't seem to be understanding that CMS only viewed you as the primary carer because of the information you gave - primarily the child benefit. Not because you were the primary carer.

Original poster
ProlongedAffair · 29/06/2025 07:31

Update: I did say I would update the thread, let this serve as a warning to others in a 50/50 situation.

My ex used the child benefit for one of the children to get them removed from my CMS case and backdated to when HMRC decided he was entitled to it. They’ve taken all the money he paid for that child off my current case for our second child. Obviously this also puts me at a massive disadvantage, as he is also challenging in court the basis of the whole CMS claim, which I only opened a couple of months prior to the child he’s now managed to remove.

He has since emailed me saying we can still reach an amicable agreement about finances, or he will open a counter claim against me for the child he now receives the benefit. He will also continue to challenge the CMS case for the second child. He also intends to continue the court process if I don’t agree.

In a 50/50, even if you believe you do more and CMS initially deems you primary carer, be very careful. CMS has repeatedly told me I am primary carer too, it’s not just me being indignant as someone else said.

OP posts:
ThisOldThang · 17/06/2025 17:06

Have there been any developments? Do you have a court date?

ThisOldThang · 01/06/2025 15:52

Following with interest. Thanks for starting the new thread.

MrsSunshine2b · 29/05/2025 12:41

Any updates?

RadioWhatsNew · 25/05/2025 16:14

ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 16:29

So I might as well just continue challenging it and take it to court and see what happens

Show quote history

@ProlongedAffair are you aware you could end up being worse off defending it in court? Not only will you need to repay the CMS to your ex, he could ask for interest and it's likely he'll ask for you to pay his court costs which, if he's using a lawyer could run into the thousands.

I am genuinely baffled as to why you keep insisting that you are the primary carer because of some paperwork, arranging some appointments and saying that CMS have deemed you as such when you've been told that CMS do no investigation or checks they simply take what the claimant tells them as factual.

Have you sought any sort of legal advice yourself?

Original poster
ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 16:29

ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 16:29

Yes I would have been better off in the private arrangement with the child benefits on top but that’s long gone now and he’s said if he wins in court he won’t be paying anything ever again

Show quote history

So I might as well just continue challenging it and take it to court and see what happens

OP posts:
Original poster
ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 16:29

ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 16:28

With the loss of child benefit and if he manages to get one child removed from the CMS I will still be slightly better off, if he starts claiming off me then it’s negligible.

tbh I know what most people think, that’s it’s ‘equal’ and I’m not primary carer but I have to disagree. I’ve been primary carer for years before 50/50, my name is registered to more things and the CMS deem me as the primary carer.

ive Only created this second thread because people have asked me up update what happens and I’ve said I will, just as I updated what happened with the child benefits even though it was a decision I don’t agree with and that went against me.

Show quote history

Yes I would have been better off in the private arrangement with the child benefits on top but that’s long gone now and he’s said if he wins in court he won’t be paying anything ever again

OP posts:
Original poster
ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 16:28

myplace · 22/05/2025 15:24

Ah, so 1 CB was awarded to him, and CMS was awarded to you. Was it more than he was already paying, out of interest?

The impression that I got before was that you were incredibly angry that he was effectively ’winning’ more than anything else.

You tried to get extra CM from him, because you feel you do more and he earns more, so it would be fairer if he paid more.

He felt that he does as much as you, has the dc the same amount as you, so why should he? So he retaliated with the CB and is now challenging the CMS as well.

I’m not going to comment on the technical stuff. However, I would warn you about your DC. They are teens. They can choose where to go. Don’t get so focused on being angry with their dad that they start to feel uncomfortable at home with you.

Your DC need you to be making and keeping a warm loving home for them. If you get distracted by your anger at their dad, they may vote with their feet and stay with him full time.

With the loss of child benefit and if he manages to get one child removed from the CMS I will still be slightly better off, if he starts claiming off me then it’s negligible.

tbh I know what most people think, that’s it’s ‘equal’ and I’m not primary carer but I have to disagree. I’ve been primary carer for years before 50/50, my name is registered to more things and the CMS deem me as the primary carer.

ive Only created this second thread because people have asked me up update what happens and I’ve said I will, just as I updated what happened with the child benefits even though it was a decision I don’t agree with and that went against me.

OP posts:
myplace · 22/05/2025 15:25

And you know what, is this costing the tax payer money? Because it sounds like a pointless tit for tat squabble and it’s using up resources better spent on vulnerable women and dc.

myplace · 22/05/2025 15:24

Ah, so 1 CB was awarded to him, and CMS was awarded to you. Was it more than he was already paying, out of interest?

The impression that I got before was that you were incredibly angry that he was effectively ’winning’ more than anything else.

You tried to get extra CM from him, because you feel you do more and he earns more, so it would be fairer if he paid more.

He felt that he does as much as you, has the dc the same amount as you, so why should he? So he retaliated with the CB and is now challenging the CMS as well.

I’m not going to comment on the technical stuff. However, I would warn you about your DC. They are teens. They can choose where to go. Don’t get so focused on being angry with their dad that they start to feel uncomfortable at home with you.

Your DC need you to be making and keeping a warm loving home for them. If you get distracted by your anger at their dad, they may vote with their feet and stay with him full time.

Original poster
ProlongedAffair · 22/05/2025 15:18

myplace · 22/05/2025 15:13

I found your last thread a really hard read, as your indignation got in the way of the information.

Can I summarise and you can say if it’s accurate?

You had 2dc and claimed child benefit, and your ex paid CM as the DC were with you most of the time.

The DC are now 50/50 so he reduced his CM. You didn’t want him to reduce it as he earns a lot, so you put in a CMS claim.

He has now put in a retaliation claim for Child Benefit and may be awarded one child’s CB leaving you with the other.

You are angry because you will lose CB and he won’t receive any money because he earns too much, so it’s a waste.

We are waiting for the outcome of the CMS claim, and the CB claim.

Is that right?

I have lost one of the child benefits, he has been awarded it.

He has now used this to challenge CMS (awaiting outcome). Meanwhile, I’ve received a letter from court that he is challenging the CMS decision to award me maintenance and its going to tribunal.

CMS has deemed me primary carer and this is what he is arguing. I’ve been asking what do they classify as primary carer and what sort of evidence do they look at.

OP posts:
WhereIsMyJumper · 22/05/2025 15:18

myplace · 22/05/2025 15:13

I found your last thread a really hard read, as your indignation got in the way of the information.

Can I summarise and you can say if it’s accurate?

You had 2dc and claimed child benefit, and your ex paid CM as the DC were with you most of the time.

The DC are now 50/50 so he reduced his CM. You didn’t want him to reduce it as he earns a lot, so you put in a CMS claim.

He has now put in a retaliation claim for Child Benefit and may be awarded one child’s CB leaving you with the other.

You are angry because you will lose CB and he won’t receive any money because he earns too much, so it’s a waste.

We are waiting for the outcome of the CMS claim, and the CB claim.

Is that right?

Don’t forget the part where the OP kept telling us she is the primary carer even though she isn’t

myplace · 22/05/2025 15:13

I found your last thread a really hard read, as your indignation got in the way of the information.

Can I summarise and you can say if it’s accurate?

You had 2dc and claimed child benefit, and your ex paid CM as the DC were with you most of the time.

The DC are now 50/50 so he reduced his CM. You didn’t want him to reduce it as he earns a lot, so you put in a CMS claim.

He has now put in a retaliation claim for Child Benefit and may be awarded one child’s CB leaving you with the other.

You are angry because you will lose CB and he won’t receive any money because he earns too much, so it’s a waste.

We are waiting for the outcome of the CMS claim, and the CB claim.

Is that right?