Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

But why would YOU be entitled to anything anyway?

CMS is meant to be a payment from a parent who does less than their fair share (50%) to a parent who does more than their fair share to cover the increased cost of raising a child for the parent who has them more. So if you do 70% and he does 30%, he would have to pay you a sum to cover the children’s costs for the 20% you do that is more than your fair share.

In a 50/50, both parents have equal expenses so it doesn’t matter who is registered at the doctors! You’re not being paid by your husband to raise your own kids!

It just doesn’t seem very fair that I’ve done most the raising of the children for all of these years, he’s swooped in as they’ve got older and it’s been 50/50, now I am not entitled to anything.

You were receiving £170 odd CB and "a few hundred" in voluntary maintenance from your ex for children you have 50/50.

TLDR: WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

She said in her other thread that he does take the kids to the appointments and fills out the forms from school when the kids are with him, and she does it when they're with her. It's literally only that the kids are registered with the doctor at her address. She's not doing all of the legwork.

But he was paying you before. And the money is not for YOU, it's for your CHILDREN. Please think of your DC and end this amicably while you have the chance. This is not meant to be a windfall for you to profit from, the children are the ones who need support

This is a lesson in greed

Why don’t you work on the bit that sounds like it frustrates you most- that he doesn’t do the leg work on the day to day grind- medical appointments, school meetings etc.

I think you are holding tightly on to control, and you need to let go a little. Let him do the dad work. Stop trying to have everything your way.

Accept the new arrangement and make it work for your dc sake. They don’t want to grow up knowing their parents are at loggerheads and can’t be invited to the same event. That’s an awful state of affairs.

I'd be surprised if they made you pay CMS payments to him for one child but not the other way around. They will either make you both pay, or neither usually.

I can't believe you thought you had a leg to stand on. You have sabotaged yourself. Have you taken any legal advice at all? Because a solicitor would have told you outright going after CM in a 50/50 residency situation would be a fool's errand.

I'd drop it if I were you.

Because when I actually spoke to them, they deemed me the primary carer.

You gave them inaccurate information.

The calculator is simply a rough guide. It all depends on full disclosure of accurate information.

You were advised repeatedly that your ex allowing you to claim CB for both children, despite being 50/50, was the only reason the calculator and CMS deemed you eligible for maintenance. You were advised repeatedly that if he claimed CB he would win and that would stop your CMS claim.

You are not the primary parent. You are 50/50. And actually recently if you were to be pedantic he is the primary parent based on time. And time is what matters for CMs. Not doctors appointments and paperwork.

That he is still willing to be amicable, even now, says a lot for him. You'd be very wise to at least take some steps to protect your co-parenting relationship as this current determinedly destructive mindset you have cannot be positive for your children

Do you? Personally I get the impression that OP is so completely lacking in self-awareness that she's not actually embarrassed by this tragedy of errors, hence why she's happy to continue to update and still very much convinced she's done nothing wrong.

Based on the information you provided which (a) wasn't true at the time and (b) has changed (since you lost one of the child benefit payments).

I also admire your transparency and coming back to update the thread.

A lesson indeed.

But we told you that wasn't correct.

You do know that when you call CMS, you generally get through to an overworked, underpaid call handler with very little training? They regularly don't know their own rules. You were told that as well.

But you were sent the link to and screenshots of the page which clearly states on the CMS there is no payments to be made in 50/50. Why did you not listen?

But you told CMS you’re the primary parent? If so, then you told them it’s not 50/50.

Seems you have made a big mistake, and now the CMS system and HMRC are involved, whereas before you could have just continued to get on nicely enough and probably left things as they were.

If you have 50-50, there really is no primary carer.

Because the system can't easily tell whether you actually are 50-50, they use who receives child benefit as a simple way to tell who is doing more of the parenting than the other. But it's really a secondary way of measuring things - a quick and dirty substitute for the actual truth because that's harder to figure out.

HMRC will quite commonly award a child benefit to each parent when there are 2 children, so now he and you are basically completely equal in terms of what CMS looks for. So neither of your will get CMS from the other.

What part do you think is unfair? He earns more money, and presumably spends more during his 50%. You have the option of going and earning more money too.

He actually has them slightly more than she does.

Wow. You really haven't learned anything. You were wrong, you were told you were wrong, you've been proven wrong, and you're still refusing to give it up. FGS, tell him you're extremely sorry and had a bout of insanity and be ready to take whatever offer he makes you to sort this out amicably or you're going to end up in a huge mess.

I wouldn't think it over too long, you don’t want him to retract his offer.

You should be trying to do damage limitation at this point.

Yes, he will be able to put in for a claim of maintenance against you for the one he has CB for and CMS will award him it as they have done for you.

Can I ask, has what's been going on between you and you ex, impacted the DC at all? Presumably as they aren't young DC they've picked up that there is now an issue between you and their dad?

I’m not sure yet, I’m trying to think things over without reacting immediately.

You should be biting his hand off for the offer of doing things amicably

Will they allow him to claim maintenance off me?

Yes. He'll be able to claim maintenance for the child he has Child Benefit for

It's baffling that, for the sake of your children, you appear to have no interest in resolving this amicably.