Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

You’re right that it wasn’t 50/50, because he actually had/has them more than you do.

You will be liable to pay him back what he has overpaid. If you refuse he can legally enforce the judgement (a CCJ against you, and the debt can be recovered through an attachment of earnings, for example, or through bailiffs). Whining that ‘it’s not fair’ will get you nowhere, although I doubt you’ll ever manage to get your head around that given you’ve ignored every piece of good advice, that if taken would have prevented this, you’ve received so far.

@ProlongedAffair and yet you’re still in fantasyland and refuse to take accountability for everything that’s happened so far. People warned you and you thought you knew better.

You said on June 29th that he emailed you and told you that you could come to an amicable agreement and if you didn't then he would be filing a counterclaim. That was less than one month ago. And several people, including possibly me, told you that you should take that offer. Sounds like you didn't, is that right?

Diddums

The court is not really going to be interested in what happened months or years ago, they will only want to know what’s happened since the date of your claim.

I think a good starting point would be to start at the date of the claim of CMS. You are going to waste your own and court time trying to argue about your primary carer role before the CMS claim. They don’t care about this you must drop it.

Lots of people have tried to help you understand that the CMS website doesn’t have any nuances, so what happened is that they allowed you in good faith to make a claim based on information you provided to them that you did more care and had more responsibility than he does, plus you didn’t know his earnings. They made a claim based on what you said, and he made a counter claim based on his view.

The concern is that you may have given them fraudulent information.. he doesn’t agree with you as he can prove he had your kids MORE, which you have admitted to so your ex was given his own opportunity to counter claim against the untruth that you claim to be the primary carer. It’s his right to do that, and when he did win the child benefit this is pretty clear cut.

The case is going to be expecting you to prove you are primary carer, but your proof is very flimsy and easily disputed and you have very little chance of winning. He had them more nights than you and the admin seems negligible. This is why people are suggesting you call a truce and end this now because you could actually get into more debt and issues fighting him is that what you want?

you need legal rep it’s very obvious you don’t have any

Wait for it.....'will the court consider me the main carer?' 😂

Well what do you want us to say? it's not like you weren't warned what would happen.

You know, if you'd just accepted that care was 50:50 and not gone off on one, you'd still be getting £300 per month and both child benefits. You've really shot yourself in the foot.

OP have you read many other MN threads about child maintenance? Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a unanimous view that the man is being reasonable and shouldn’t pay?? I once saw a thread, started by a man who had just got full custody, where posters were genuinely arguing he should still pay maintenance to help his ex “get her life back on track”, and that even if he didn’t pay maintenance he’d be an absolute scumbag to consider claiming it against her. That wasn’t the majority view, but it was there.

The fact you have a unanimous opinion on MN that you are unreasonable to go after this, and highly unlikely to get what you want, should show you something.

Your greed seems to have overtaken any sensible thought process. You reap what you sow, and I don’t blame your ex at all. I wouldn’t give you a penny now either if I was him.

That's hardly surprising given your attitude toward him at various points in this process.

You had umpteen chances to end the stupidity and sort it amicably and didn't.

Good for him. You want to know why he’s been forced to do that? Take a good long look at your own behaviour.

Good for him. You have shown your true money grabbing colours and he has reacted to protect himself. FAFO in action.

Just to reiterate something I said at least 3 times on the old thread..

CMS has NO investigative branch. They rely on the accuracy of the info given. So when you told them you got child benefit and were the primary parent.. they accepted that from you. Them saying it was NOT a value judgement on the accuracy of the position.

I would like to say to you fair play for coming back to update the thread. You got a lot of stick (reasonably in my opinion) but I do respect you for coming back to update.

I also do have a degree of sympathy for the position that historically it has been far from 50/50 but you really need to let that go now. All that matters is the present. And you absolutely can't win at Tribunal.

If there is a prospect of out of court settlement you should really try for that.

Have you forgotten that children are involved here? Or do you not care?

Your ex offered to do this amicably despite you spitefully trying to claim more of his income because you 'believe' you're owed it.

You are the poster child for cutting you nose to spite your face and you are so delusional despite people (too kindly in many instances) gently explaining how wrong you are.

Also one last time, if you answer a tick box saying 'are you the primary caregiver' with yes, THAT is the one reason they label you as such. It's clear you are no longer that. Spend this energy on finding additional income sources to boost your own finances, stop trying to steal your exes.

Op could you go to mediation now and both agree to drop both cases?
See if he will give you anything at all?

Also, has he now taken over dentist doctor homework shoe shopping haircuts etc for 'his' child?

Do you remember when you couldn’t believe that your ex would get one of the CBs, because his earnings meant he would pay it back? And we all told you he would, and you kept insisting that would be unfair/illogical? And - lo and behold - he did get it?

Maybe learn from this…?!

But you lied to them that you were primary carer when you wasn't. You can't exactly provide proof that you had them more than 50/50 as you working it out determined that he had them more than you. So where is your actual proof OP?

Omg op, how many times are you going to say that CMS said you were primary carer?!

Just this information alone is no longer the case. So you need to get over it! You are NOT the primary carer. You have a 50/50 arrangement with your husband and you now only have 1 child benefit claim. Your ex had gone for CMS so that may cancel out your claim.

Can he go for money back? Yes probably.... Should you keeping fighting?.... Definitely not! Should you talk to your ex and arrange things privately like he's asked.... Yes definitely. I don't know why you still think you have a case. You do not. Your ex has won... You were incorrectly told you were primary and have held onto that even though it was incorrect... Let it go.... You have lost ... Now get over it and readjust.

Yeah that pot is for if they bollocksed up, and as a result you had extra costs like overdraft charges. But thats things like, they processed your claim outside their agreed turnaround times, or you can prove you provided info they ignored or didnt act on.

This isnt what happened. CMS didnt make a mistake.

They have acted promptly, based on the info they had at the time. Your circs changed when ExP successfully put in a rival child benefit claim, which shows you were overpaid and his child benefit claim will have potentially been backdated to 12 weeks prior to the date he put the claim in. Youre lucky HMRC aren't also asking for 12 weeks of that back too. CMS couldnt have known he would challenge the child benefit and prove it was 50:50 at each stage they've acted on the most up to date info they had.

If he needs paying back, its not fair to expect the tax payer to cover it. I dont want to pay your ExP back for your greed. You'll have to pay him if it goes that way

Its not CMSs responsibility if you need to pay it back.

Its like if your employer under taxes you, its not necessarily your fault but its your responsibility to repay the money.

Because when you opened the claim, you were getting Child Benefit so you met their standard to be "Primary carer". They based their advice on nothing more than your word and the child benefit.

You are no longer getting child benefit for one child so they have changed their view. Based on the change of circs.

Its fair because the advice you got aligned to your circs at that point in time.

Youre saying "its beyond amicable" but this whole time you initiated and pushed. And hes still said, he would sort it out privately. Despite the fact he is likely better off if this continues. For example if hes getting child benefit for your youngest, there will come a time where you might owe him CMS for DC2 but as DC1 is over 18 you get nothing back. He has said it doesnt have to go this way.

I dont understand why you keep having to put your hand in the fire. With every update you give more of us advise you how to limit the damage and you ignore it and say its unfair.

1 time, at 1 point in time CMS agreed you were primary carer. Based on your word and child benefit. And at that time that was accurate. But today he gets child benefit for 1 of the children, HMRC recognises you as 50:50 CMS now disagrees based on new information. Its not "unfair" its a different situation.

Honestly it will be so so so much better if you ring him and ask how he suggests you resolve it

Did you get any legal advice OP?

I don’t think you can keep challenging anything prior to the 50/50.

Here are the facts ok.

You willingly accepted a private CMS arrangement from your ex when you were primary carer and didn’t have 50/50. You did not take it to CMS.

Some years later you moved to 50/50 and he cut your private arrangement from £1000 to £300, based on that he had the DC equally

You then opened a case against him for more money as you thought he earned a lot. The rationale for this was that you wanted to be compensated from the years before 50/50 when you accepted the private arrangement.

However, that time has passed now and it’s been 50/50 for a while. You are now an equal parent

You want the CMS to uphold this based on what was the case years ago, and not now. But they have a cut off period for a back claim and you have missed it. So you are trying to make a backdated claim underhandedly. To do so you want to prove you were primary carer for years until recently. Am I right?