Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

@ProlongedAffair really none of this is panning out in your favour. The dc now spend more than 50% of their time with him (regardless of past arrangements). The fact that you don't have a formal order won't make any difference. It seems inevitable that you're going to lose the second child benefit, won't be awarded any child maintenance and possibly even be required to pay some to your exDH. He's obviously dug his heels in, having previously been very generous but clearly alienated by you pushing for more. Might be worth preparing yourself for that financial position, anything better will then be a bonus.

I do question this,

Even the most deluded person can’t keep clinging on to being a primary carer when they don’t even have their own children half the time anymore. Slowly as the thread progressed OP lost more money and time with her kids yet still going to court with their dad about money. She will end up with nothing

This thread is definitely real.

Oh my god OP I really think you need to have a long think about the benefits to you of keep bending the truth. I know you think it’s not lying but this will not go well for you.

If the info is the truth it won’t be conflicting

If you submit incorrect information then that’s a lie

at the end of the day if there is conflicting evidence it may be that a court would go with the the most credible person. And that might not be you, if he can prove you are a liar

But there’s no court order in place so it’ll only be him saying he’s had our youngest more so why would he be automatically believed?

Because unless you contradict him they'll have no reason not to believe him.

And tbh, given his previous dealings with you over this, he'll likely have good evidence of when the youngest has been with him to prove things just in case you decide to lie

It depends on what the information is, how significant it is and how it conflicts.

What conflicting information did you have in mind?

But surely they'd only get conflicting evidence if you deliberately lied by pretending your youngest was with you more than he actually was. Are you seriously considering lying to a government agency to get money you're not entitled to?

If they ask your ex how much he's had your youngest over the last few months and then they ask you, are you going to tell the truth or are you going to lie?

The youngest child has spent more time with him over the last few months, and it’s over 58% in his favour. He’s put another claim in for the youngest child’s benefit. What will they assess this time?? As it’s my word against his and there’s no court order in place, will they take the youngests benefit from me because he has had them a bit more recently??

Yes, if the child is there more then he will be entitled to the CB.

You really have made an absolute mess of things for yourself

Any court date set yet?

She's just clutching at straws. He does far more. Like she thinks a piece of paper for a school trip makes her the main carer 😂

Actually I'm going to have to unfollow this because she's seriously doing my head in now. Poor bloke, I can understand why he won't engage with her anymore. The woman is absolutely impossible to reason with. It's like bashing your head against a brick wall 🧱 🧱 🧱

I got the impression that she was talking about things like permission slips for field trips or whatever the equivalent of that would be there. Like papers that come home from school that you have to fill out and send back.

How many things are your children registered with? If you mean doctors and dentist, that's a one off thing, once they're registered they're registered. Their Dad takes them to appointments if necessary on his time. He also has private healthcare for them, arguably that takes admin time because he needs to renew it annually. What do you actually mean by registrations and admin?

I know. OP, genuine question. Have you ever had any kind of assessment done for autism? Your bloody mindedness, lack of any insight into your own behaviour and complete inability to accept anything other than your own view really isn’t normal.

Dictionary definition of f around and find out

Talk to the wall Folks.... cos the OP ain't listening... again!

Each post is more infuriating than the last. She just doesn’t take any responsibility for anything.

CMS advised you based on you only presenting evidence that supported you getting what you wanted. You didn’t tell them that he actually had them more than you, and that you weren’t in fact their primary carer. You were the one that misled them, not the other way round.

That’s on you. It won’t be CMS reimbursing him, it will be you.

You played yourself, completely. You had an amicable co parenting relationship, and he was quite happy to let you claim
both child benefits in addition to making entirely voluntary payments of £300 a month to you. Instead of appreciating that you got butthurt over his pay rise and went after even more money you weren’t entitled to. It’s now blown up in your face as you were explicitly and repeatedly told it would. Stamping your foot, whining ‘it’s not fair’, and blaming anyone but yourself isn’t going to get you out of this situation that you have created. Take responsibility for yourself, and for fucks sake stop making it worse.

@ProlongedAffair it's about time you took some responsibility for this mess that you have created and stop blaming everyone else. CMS aren't at fault or responsible. You are 100%.

You said why would you take legal advice from MN, but you've not taken legal advice at all have you? Probably because deep down you knew what what 99% of posters were telling you, including myself was correct.

You were told repeatedly in your very first thread that for 50/50 no child maintenance was due, if I recall you ended that by saying you had sought advice and we're not going to claim because as everyone told you it was due on 50/50.

You then made a 2nd thread where you had in fact claimed CMS and were shocked because your ex put a claim in for one of the CB. You have been told over and over that he would win that that CMS base their decision on what you tell them not evidence. You were told that he would likely put in a claim for CMS and will win it just like he will win in court and that you would have to pay back every single penny you received under your false claim.

Throughout this you have obsessed over the kids being registered to your address with GP and Dentist etc. They don’t allow registration at more than 1 address, just because ex let it be your address didn't and doesn't mean you do more.

Your ex was paying you a generous sum of money despite not needing to, he LET you claim both CB even though he was entitled to claim 1 of those.

You've admitted that you earn well and you don't need extra from your ex to live that it would be good for savings or holidays. Your greed and bitterness towards your ex has led you to where you are.

Maybe start putting the interest of your children first instead of trying to line your pockets from a man that owes you nothing just because he earns more. It isn't his job or obligation to fund your lifestyle.

You need to take a long hard look at yourself and how you live your life and stop blaming everyone else for the choices you made.

You can’t bend the rules to fit your narrative, your ex let you keep the child benefit to help you. He didn’t need the money but he also didn’t realise that you could, or would take advantage of his kind nature by making a CMS claim against him. Had he known this, he likely would have taken the CB off you much earlier. You have left him NO CHOICE but to do this now, he asked you to stop the claim you continued!

CMS is not giving you free legal advice on your financial and custody situation, come on you cannot expect this? You are too tight fisted to get legal advice so you are just blindly blundering through this and you will end up in serious financial problems.

The onus is on you as a fully functional adult to understand the systems and get a lawyer if you need one. CMS is not there to ‘advise’ you of anything - it’s a claim system when the co parenting relationship has broken down! if you lie to them or your documents or circumstances change, and they find out, your payments will change in response. CMS do not owe you a full breakdown of every single scenario - the onus is on each person to either a. Communicate with their co parent or b. Get your own legal advice

You did not take money from CMS, you took the money from your ex. He is a real human person, who cares for your children and was amicably helping you… but you are acting like he is just a cash machine? I think everyone finds your approach to this situation incredibly childish, selfish and distasteful.

You took a gamble. You lost.