Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

Ok. But literally what would I gain by giving him the child benefits and not fighting him for it?? He’ll just open another child maintenance case against me. I may as well just battle him for it and hope they keep the second child’s award with me!

You'll not waste a load of energy, everyone's time (including the staff paid by the tax payer to judge your claims) and can move forward focussed on your children?

You cannot win this when the facts are that your children spend more time with him.

Are you even remotely sorry that you started this shitshow?

But they won’t, because he has the children more

🤦‍♀️ are you not listening to anyone?!!!

Thanks, exactly my point, there’s no point withdrawing my application or just giving him the child benefits! The best I can hope for is I get to keep the youngest benefit so I need to at least push back on it and challenge his claim.

You cannot challenge his claim though. Not without lying.

At least if you stop now you can apologise and hopefully redeem your relationship with your children. Something that you don't seem overly worried about.

If anything, I think OP's ex needs to join Mumsnet.

There are a lot of women on here who could probably benefit from his insights about how to resist manipulation or taking any shite from greedy ex-partners.

But all that time when you had then more, he paid. And you got the CB.

Now that he has them 50:50 things must change. You seem to think that because you used to have them more you should forever be paid what you were paid then. That’s such messed up thinking.

that’s like saying ‘I used to work full time and got paid for it. Now I’m part time but because I used to get a full time wage I think it’s unfair I don’t now’ 🫤

The ONLY REASON he went after one CB is because you got greedy and wanted more of his money. The only way he could protect himself was to ensure he was deemed to be 50:50 by claiming one CB. He didn’t do it for the money or to spite you. He did it BECAUSE it was the only thing he could do to legitimise the FACT that he does 50:50. Well more actually.

and no. He isn’t behaving amicably is because when he was you leapt in and tried to grab more and stopped being amicable.

YOU caused this. Everything going wrong for you now is YOUR fault.

Fucking HELL.

You expected to be automatically believed when you told CMS that you were doing more.

@ProlongedAffair why, given that you do not have the children more than your ex, do you think you stand any chance of being given the child benefit for your youngest?! Previous posters have explained time and again that whoever had the child/ren more (even if it is only 1 night a month) would get it… you will not be allocated the money for your youngest just because you consider you ex to o my have them ‘slightly’ more than you do. All they will look at is the numbers, and the numbers say you have them less. You would be much better off putting your energy in to the time you have with your children, instead of trying to get as much money as you can from their father/child benefit

That is NOT what they’re saying! They’re telling you to STOP!

@ProlongedAffair

Thanks for continuing to post in this thread. I've found it to be very interesting.

I do agree that you might as well continue this to conclusion. You've already lost the voluntary payments, one child benefit and the official CMS. You're going to lose the other child benefit and potentially have to pay him CMS if you sit back and do nothing.

With that being said, I don't think you've got much chance of winning.

Your best bet is to work on your relationship with the kids, get it back to true 50:50 and then resubmit a claim for one child benefit. I think that's the best you can hope for at this stage.

Op, maybe start redirecting all this effort into getting a job, or a better paid job. You are coming across as very grabby and just need to focus on sorting out your own finances, relying only on yourself. Stop looking for ways to lie/fiddle things to your benefit

I think op needs to spend some time with grippy socks. Because she’s making zero sense logically.

WHO/WHAT are you answering?

I know we can’t do a TAAT, but can we do a wee poll within the thread?
”thumbs up” this if you (too) think the OP is off her rocker on this & her ex sounds like a fucking saint!

Surely the ‘best you can hope for’ is to spend quality time with your children and work back to 50/50 custody again? You haven’t once said anything about being upset at losing time with them, only the money you are missing out on…

If this thread is anything to go by, I’m really not surprised your ex-husband won’t talk to you anymore, it’s like banging your head against a brick wall

No the best you can hope for is to have a relationship with your children still, currently that’s going down the pan.

From your own posts you are not entitled to CB or maintenance.

Can you imagine what it’s like having a conversation with her in person

I am soooo confused. I think…
is OP taking any advice given onboard? Thinking at all of her kids? Or just grubby grabby? It’s baffling!

A slight split is still a split even though it isn’t slight. They don’t care what happened before they just want factual figures.

If dad has the boys 18 nights and you have them 13 then dad gets the money it’s really that simple. Cms isn’t there to do you a favour or be nice or be kind. It’s who had the most over nights. They are the main parent. Done.

You are still being too pig headed over money that you can’t or refuse to see you are pushing your children away from some senseless view that you deserve something you are not entitled too.

Yes, because hoping has worked out brilliantly for you so far. He wouldn’t have opened a maintenance case if he didn’t want money. That you (stupidly) haven’t paid anything will cost you in arrears that I do not doubt he will pursue.

It isn’t a ‘slight split’, no matter how much you want to gaslight yourself into believing that. He has both of them for a solid majority of the time.