Child Benefit Rival Claim Ex Partner Earning Loads!!!!! part 2

I do have a question.

has he put in a cms claim yet for both boys?

Will you when you see the boys tell them he’s making you pay?

I do think hes right that youre pursuing him unfairly. This wasnt grunt work, you had a family and made choices. You will never know whether your career would have been more successful if you didnt have them.

And tbh it does sound like he paid fairly, its just then he wasnt as well off as he is now. You cant say I deserved it then, his circs and yours were different.

But I agree, while I think hes told them the truth. I dont think he should have told them at all. I hope youre able to rebuild with them, but I dont think saying to them I feel "owed" for the "grunt work" will do you any favours.

If you do feel in hindsight you should have behaved differently over the maintainence and CB I think you want to base anything you say around that.

I hope you can put it all behind you, accept you made a big mistake chasing money you weren’t entitled to and focus on rebuilding your relationship with your children. Good luck

*is not alienation

You're not owed anything. When he had the children less he was paying you £1000 a month. That was what you were owed.

When he had the children half he was paying you £300 a month. He was also allowing you have both of the CB claims giving you another £180 a month that you were not owed all of. You then went for even more.

Many of us have been in exactly your position so your repeated "you'd do the same" is self justifying bollocks.

Your greed and absolute determination to ignore anyone who urged caution caused this whole saga.

And giving your teenage children a truthful appraisal of why he'd taken the stance he had isn't not alienation.

Teenagers tend to want to know stuff that concerns them. This does. As long as he was honest about the situation, I can't blame him.

But, as previous posters have pointed out time and again, legally you are not ’owed’ anything. You admitted yourself that your ex has both children more than you, therefore in the eyes of CMS and the child benefit team, he is seen as the primary carer. If you’d just accepted what people were saying, taken the advice on board, and possibly approached things in a different way, your ex may not have felt the need to share this information with your children (I do agree that he shouldn’t have, but that’s by the by)

All you can do now is focus on rebuilding your relationship with your children. Forget about the money aspect.

Pages and pages of people telling you they don’t feel the way you do.

you are the problem. He can tell his children the truth if he wants to. You have done this all yourself.

the delusion in all of your posts is amazing and so frustrating to read.

You decided to be a parent you are owed nothing he paid what he was meant to when he did. You could have left the children with him and fucked off and paid just maintenance if you wanted too.

The children will of asked and likely seen and heard your attitude for many years.

Although I've been critical of the decisions you've made that have brought you to this point, I'm still sorry it's come to this. I hope you manage to rebuild your relationship with your children.

If I’d behaved the way you have I’d accept whatever comes my way from that OP. You were warned here, repeatedly.

He has told the truth to your children, if you don’t like how the truth makes you look then the only person you have to blame is yourself and your own actions.

@ProlongedAffair I'm really sorry your children have completely moved. I am also sorry that you didn't realise what a good position you were in. It's easy to look back and regret, but I'm sure you really did believe that you deserved more. I hope you can repair the relationship with your children and that you continue to have reliable work.

Yes there is that. Many op’s would not of come back to admit how shit the outcome became for them.

Though I still think we may be missing something as most children don’t suddenly move out because mums money hungry from dad so guess she’s been in their ear a lot and dads provided evidence contradicting her words over possibly years.

Maybe as adults this can be fixed ops going to have to be on best behaviour and I’m not sure she will be able to get over her feeling of it not being fair she did the “hard” years and he got the “easy” years.

I'm sorry to hear that OP. Unfortunately that's the risk when you upset the apple cart. Nothing is set in stone, ket them know you want them to visit as often as they want and money doesn't come into it.

@ProlongedAffair what carnage this has turned out to be.
I respect your honesty in updating the threads. Parenting is rarely truly equal whether together or separated and you've fixated on what you consider past inequities to justify going after more money now. You've alienated a generous EXH and your children in the process and now paid a very harsh price.
Perhaps if you reflect on all this and can admit to your children that you now realise you were wrong and are genuinely sorry you might have a chance of rebuilding a relationship with them. I wish that for you.

So he told them the truth then?🤣

I have said I take responsibility but he has told them I was unfairly coming after him for money etc, which has just completed turned them against me

So he has told them the truth

You were completely out of order in your greed. Until you accept that and admit that you'll likely continue damaging your relationship with your children.

For their sake, and your own, accept responsibility- full responsibility- for your greedy fuck up.

You were warned if this numerous times.

Yet your post still takes no responsibility.

You got greedy and it has cost you greatly.

If only hundreds of posts could have predicted it

So there you go you lost your children over some money he didn’t owe you. Slow clap. Well done.

Which you were doing. So…

But… you were unfairly going after him for money, weren’t you?!

But you were unfairly coming after him for money?