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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not complain about nursery handing our daughter off to a man they haven’t seen before

180 replies

DefendingPan · 21/05/2025 20:55

So background: my father in law is a silver tongued fox and very personable.

He was visiting the area and decided to pick my daughter up from nursery on the way in, I arrived at the nursery to see him in the doorway, holding her hand and saying goodbye to the nursery staff.

My wife thinks we should complain because they didn’t know him from Adam but I think if we complain they’ll just say that they wouldn’t have let them leave until a parent got here cos he was still technically in the nursery and the nursery is attached to the school and I don’t think kicking up a fuss is the best first impression with the primary school.

Any thoughts? AIBU for not wanting to complain?

OP posts:
Tbrh · 21/05/2025 21:01

I would lose my absolute shit. Surely this is just one of the very basics

pinksquash13 · 21/05/2025 20:59

Poor form from nursery if they expected you. Bit weird that your FIL would do that without telling you. I wouldn't complain, I don't think, because it wasn't a problem. I don't think they'd let a child go off with someone they didn't now. Presumably your child expressed a wish to go to grandad.

saveforthat · 21/05/2025 20:57

Mmm. Maybe not go in with a full on complaint but definitely ask about how a stranger (to the nursery) was allowed access to children.

Abitlosttoday · 21/05/2025 20:57

If this really happened, you should 110% be complaining. Reporting, in fact. It's insane.

CharSiu · 21/05/2025 20:57

If this is exactly what happened it’s a safeguarding issue and I would be speaking to FIL to find out exactly what happened.