To think what is going to happen to all the children that are ND

I feel exactly the same. I get tearful when i think how my daughter will cope with adult life, especially when we’re no longer here to look after her.

There was this in the past, just more unseen and not talked about and they aren’t all heartbreak stories op, there’s care homes that are a far cry from the books we read and there’s family members that don’t see them as a burden. When my mum goes my brother will be with me until the end because he’s a great guy and deserves it. I think the future can seem scary and we need to prepare them for being as independent as possible if that’s possible but outside of that just one foot in front of the other and don’t spend your whole time worrying x

I'm really hoping this will be DD. She's 16 now, hasn't been in school for years, took English and maths classes this year, but hasn't been able to sit the GCSE exams. I would love to think she'll thrive once she gets a bit older.

I think the school environment just isn't a great environment for helping some children thrive

I don't know what schools are like now because I don't work in that area and I'm not a parent, but I can state with surety that it was a total nightmare to be an autistic child in State school in the 70s and 80s.

Expected to fit in, cope, conform, and participate in all the things that cause me immense distress, and universally viewed as "the problem" when it led to breakdowns, no interest in participating, truancy, refusal, contempt for consequences etc.

Absolutely no recognition that there could be any other explanation than me simply being a "difficult" pupil.

Our hope is that my DSs is able to live in some sort of assisted/supported living setting when we’re not able to care for him, either because we’re not here or because we’re physically unable.

We try now to do some work on independence skills. He won’t work, but in an ideal world he’ll be able to make a sandwich, put a wash on, wash independently.

It’s a pipe dream at the moment but we have progressed to getting his own yoghurts and spoons so maybe!

I don’t know, OP. I’m the parent of a child who is severely affected by Autism. I don’t know if she will ever be able to work or hold a conversation or write her own name. The worry is indescribable.

DSD didn't cope well in school, didn't cope well with friendships or many aspects of life.

Then at 19 she got her first job,.a very basic entry level job. And she has flown! She's already had a promotion, she's happy and confident and saving hard.

I think the school environment just isn't a great environment for helping some children thrive

Autism and ADHD run in my family. A lot were only recently diagnosed but were just described before that as difficult, anxious, useless, 'different' and lots of other lovely things. A family member was nonverbal and very significantly ND but never formally diagnosed with autism - is working and living independently now though.

So, taking it one at a time:

there have always been people with autism. Kanner’s autism paper was in 1943 and although he called it infantile schizophrenia it was fully recognised by many doctors that what he saw existed.

children with classical or severe non verbal autism had a number of options post world war - some parents kept them home and looked after them, employing carers etc. Others (or the same parents for older children) placed them in long term mental institutions.
they lived there for most of their life.

this is pretty U.K. specific by the way.

many of the big mental hospitals closed down in the 80s and the push was towards “care in the community”.

by that point some therapies that helped improve social communication and develop alternative methods of communication (PECs etc) had started to develop and you start in the 70s to get special schools or as they were called then schools for the educationally sub normal.

as special schools spread and the therapies spread many children with autism develop on a path that brings them closer to being able to cope with everyday life.

so some live at home with parents. Some live in 24 hour residential care - there is a place near me that is a small home for young adults who can’t live independently where carers are provided and meals are cooked but they can go out and about around the village and socialise either by themselves or with a carer.

one of them sings in my choir.

whether the increase is due to an increase in diagnosis or is a true increase the jury is still out on a bit but it seems to be both in part.

Alot do "catch up"

My step brother attended special schools, wasnt entered for GCSE's, couldnt be left alone in his teens, has a lot of SEN/ND needs. However at 32, he has a degree, owns a house, and works full time. Yes he required support to get the house, additional support to get into uni and didnt go at 18, he was much older, and has needed support in learning to manage his income and priorities, but he has done it and is successful.

My eldest is SEN, attended a mainstream school but barely passed his exams, he went to college but hated it. Now he is working full time. The job role is min wage but he loves it. He still lives with me but is gradually learning to manage his income and im moving bills over to him gradually, and he has to pay me rent which i s reduce as we move things like his phone over. Hes now 22 and hopefully in the next few years we can get him set up on his own.

I was diagnosed AuDHD in my late 30's. when i attended uni. I spent my 20's doing dead end job with no direction or ambition. In my early 30s i decided what i wanted to do and did it, started uni at 36 and qualified as a nurse at 39, now i have a role in emergnecy nursing which i bloody love and will continue to progress in. It took me a while, but i got there and foiund something i love.

Theres some who will never move out of live unsupervised, but theres also facilities popping up all over. I live near a cafe that employs SEN/ND people. Alot of the staff have autism or DS. They only do 1 or 2 days a week, but they are working, and the local community attends the cafe (even though the prices are atronomical in comparison to other places).

But i think most ND kids do find their place eventually, it just takes them longer sometimes

Single parent here, only one child who is autistic. I have sleepless nights about who will look after her when I’m gone. It’s heartbreaking