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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

363 replies

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 16:26

My child (7 years old)got a party invite via a WhatsApp group. I asked him if he wanted to come, he did, and I replied saying he would love to come on the group. So far, so normal.

I then was removed from the group, and received a message to say that his invite was a mistake.

AIBU to think regardless of mistakes, you don't uninvite? My child has been in nursery/school with this child for years, they play together, and it's not a small party either, or one where numbers are critical or pay per head (just a party at home, which is also fine, and I know they have a good size home and garden).

I don't care that he isn't invited, just that he has been invited, when he is aware of the invite now. He will now be hearing kids talking about the party at school, thinking he is going, but not able to go.

OP posts:
Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AutumnLover1989 · 21/05/2025 18:48

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Maybe read the thread properly before commenting?

TortolaParadise · 21/05/2025 18:46

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:39

Nope but you can call them out on it.

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I agree with calling it out however resilience can still be built alongside. Both are life skills.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:46

supersop60 · 21/05/2025 18:36

No, the OP admitted nothing of the sort. She called out the other parent as rude.
There was no explanation, other than 'it was a mistake', hence the block.

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Op said herself she was rude to her. Look back at the comments she made. Can you not read?

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:45

thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 18:43

it's not brave, it's childish.

We would all have loved to tell some other parents what we think of them, especially in Primary school, we all could. It's just not necessary, you move on and ignore them.

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No, you call out bad behaviour in the hope that they will
learn and think twice before they do it again.

No one needs to be a doormat to that type of behaviour.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:44

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:43

You sound really annoyed. Are you okay love? When you try and be pedantic you know you are losing a fight 😂 so immature.

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immature … oh lovely that’s very silly now!

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:44

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:34

😂 you think you could make me angry over a comment, behave love. I’m not an entitled parent.

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You seem very invested in this thread, lots of arguing with posters. All quite strange…for someone who is not “angry”.

You really are coming across as irate and angry.

I wouldn’t be describing you as calm, unfazed or laidback for sure.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:43

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:30

Should she have made HALF a thread about it?

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You sound really annoyed. Are you okay love? When you try and be pedantic you know you are losing a fight 😂 so immature.

thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 18:43

LauraP32 · 21/05/2025 18:42

Think you did everything right OP. You've made it very clear where she stands with you now. Hats off to you! I'm not sure I would be that brave.

it's not brave, it's childish.

We would all have loved to tell some other parents what we think of them, especially in Primary school, we all could. It's just not necessary, you move on and ignore them.

LauraP32 · 21/05/2025 18:42

Think you did everything right OP. You've made it very clear where she stands with you now. Hats off to you! I'm not sure I would be that brave.

thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 18:41

No one is saying it wasn't "rude", but it was a mistake.

The over-reaction, calling her out, blocking her? Is it really necessary?
You say you have other children, surely it's not the first time you are faced by rude behaviour from another parent. You can think they are rude or whatever, but going on a war path about it? You blocking someone only affects you, no one else actually care. At most, you are doing her a favour.

I don't know what her reasoning was when she messaged you immediately when you replied and she realised your child was invited by mistake - but it cannot be anything good, can it.

A place with number? she would have just explained (mistake, numbers strictly capped, already have the number of guests..). At home when it doesn't matter?
Obviously there's a reason.

if it's not the child, it's the parent. It's not uncommon to tell kids to stay away from some kids because the parents are a known nightmare and who has time for that.

Namerequired · 21/05/2025 18:40

I have never heard of that and I have 5 kids. I accidentally invited the wrong child once, I wouldn’t have dreamed of uninviting them. There has to be a very strong reason why she did that, or she is completely clueless.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:39

TortolaParadise · 21/05/2025 18:36

I agree with what you. However, you can not control the behaviour of others.

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Nope but you can call them out on it.

AMillionTomorrows · 21/05/2025 18:38

The parent’s behaviour was really, really bad. I don’t blame you for blocking her. I’d want nothing to do with her. Hope you can find a nice treat for your poor son.

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:38

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:38

Group admins which the parent would’ve been, can delete other peoples messages.

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Sorry was obviously typing whilst you were editing!

Orangepeony · 21/05/2025 18:38

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 17:57

Nope. Just someone who thinks op is making a massive deal out this and needs to deal with it.

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She’s making a massive dea? You’ve posted more than anyone 😂

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:38

Noodlehen · 21/05/2025 18:34

you can’t remove other people’s messages from WhatsApp groups?

ignore me I’ve just remembered it’s a group. If she was admin she could I guess. So did she add you then invite you, and then remove you?

what a cow. Probably be a crap party anyway, hope you and your son have a lovely day instead

Edited
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Group admins which the parent would’ve been, can delete other peoples messages.

supersop60 · 21/05/2025 18:36

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:25

You’ve made a whole thread about it and openly admitted you were RUDE to her and then BLOCKED her without giving her a chance to explain. Instead of trying to sort the situation out you made it about yourself and how you feel rather than what’s best for your son.

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No, the OP admitted nothing of the sort. She called out the other parent as rude.
There was no explanation, other than 'it was a mistake', hence the block.

TortolaParadise · 21/05/2025 18:36

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:31

Or work on inviting the people you want to attend in the first place?

Just an idea?

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I agree with what you. However, you can not control the behaviour of others.

TatteredAndTorn · 21/05/2025 18:35

People go on about women stopping the whole “be kind” thing yet when they do it they are piled on! I don’t blame you at all OP. Unbelievably rude, with absolutely no insight. Your poor DS. Don’t blame you for blocking her. I probably wouldn’t be brave enough to but would want nothing more to do with her or her child. Horrible woman.

Noodlehen · 21/05/2025 18:34

Exaltedmalteaser · 21/05/2025 18:19

Yes this is exactly it. Before removing me, she also deleted my response (just saying 'X would love to come')

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you can’t remove other people’s messages from WhatsApp groups?

ignore me I’ve just remembered it’s a group. If she was admin she could I guess. So did she add you then invite you, and then remove you?

what a cow. Probably be a crap party anyway, hope you and your son have a lovely day instead

IberianBlackout · 21/05/2025 18:34

Uninviting a child is horrible and not offering any reasonable explanation beyond “it was a mistake” is even worse.

I don’t see anything wrong with blocking her unless you announced it. Then I would see it is a little bit dramatic, but understandable given the situation.

I agree with everyone else, book something fun for the day so he won’t even think of the party.

Donthaveacowman45 · 21/05/2025 18:34

TooGoodToGoto · 21/05/2025 18:23

Word salad 🥗

I would guess typed in anger and not really making a lot of sense….

You will see the people that have made them comments have no morals

Just what does that actual sentence mean?

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😂 you think you could make me angry over a comment, behave love. I’m not an entitled parent.

Orangepeony · 21/05/2025 18:32

AJ20 · 21/05/2025 17:36

I'm saying you are bring dramatic. If being disinvited from an event at 7 years old haunts you, I'm not surprised you are having this reaction to a post where we have very little information on the actual story of WHY he may have been uninvited.

I would never have anyone in my house I didn't want there. Adult or child, simple. And I would not be extending pity invites out of a mistake or courtesy.

I can quite believe that courtesy isn’t a motivator for you

hazelnutvanillalatte · 21/05/2025 18:32

Unbelievable. She will have to learn to change her behaviour or she/her child will lose many more friends