To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

A lot do, yes. They shouldn't be there but can't get another job.

Scum

You’ve done the right thing, she was extremely rude and should be told that.

My DC handed out invites to their class once and someone’s parent who DC didn’t know (not in their class) replied, they couldn’t come (probably because they didn’t even know who my DC was) but if they would of said they were coming then that would of been fine, I’d never tell them they were invited by mistake. This child does play with your DC which makes it a lot worse.

@arcticpandas

Your son handled that so well.

You obviously don’t have kids.

Want to add - I hope this other parent is in mumsnet and reads this and sees what everyone here thinks as it’ll be eye opening for them 😂

My cousin is a teacher some people goes into teaching because they can't find another job. They don't know what to do with their English or History degree so they go into teaching. She probably hates her job and slags of the parents as well.

No way should OP grovel to the other mother! She kicked OP out of the WA group and deleted her messaging thanking her for the invite. That is brutal. OP is right to maintain her self-respect and keep her blocked.

But he was invited and regardless of whether he'll remember the date, he'll definitely remember whn he heads others talking about it.

Make sure you let her know your child already thinks he's going and she's a twat for it. Please please don't tell him he's been uninvited. Make up some excuse.

Agree it’s shocking from the other parent. I think I’d make them squirm by saying ‘oh I’ve already bought the present and reorganised an appointment so XX could attend! What’s the issue??” And await their response.
if they say they’ve invited too many kids etc I’d offer to pay for my child and I’d try whatever to avoid my child being hurt / let down etc.

Id also blacklist that parent for life. What a twat!!

Very rude but I had a similar ISH situation happen with my 7year old. I took him to a play area called Flip out for the day and he didn't even care that he missed the party because he had so much fun. See if there's a fun day you guys could do together that day instead possibly?

But the other parent doesn’t care about the child, hence the uninviting. So by explaining all this to them it isn’t going to really achieve anything as they ultimately don’t care. Plus the op blocked them and can’t see if there are any replies. Also don’t think Op mentioned anything about the child knowing yet he’s not upset at this moment in time.

That is incredibly rude. What is wrong with people?! I wouldn’t block just because it can be seen as an act of aggression. I’d just ignore. But who the hell does that to a child?!

No, explaining the consequences of their total lack of care for a child’s feelings (as a result of their own mistake) and offering them the chance to take responsibility and do the decent thing.

Yes it makes it even worse this has to be pointed out so explicitly to them - any good parent would have realised and felt it too bad to upset the child like that.

I wouldn’t try and force her to change her mind but Jesus I’d find it hard not to send her a message and let her know what a bitch I think she is.

so emotional manipulation?

That's absolutely horrible. Rude, callous behaviour.

I'd have to book a great day out and tell him "I'm sorry, I thought you could go to x's party but forgot I'd booked (great day out) for you".

Then spoil him rotten.

TBH, I would rather my dc not go to a party they were not invited to. As by that age or any age if a child did not want another dc at their party they could make it obvious and your dc might feel worse. It was a mistake and sure it is crappy, but these things happen. Once someone else's email was in the wrong spot for the class list so I invited another child my dd was not friends with to her bday party by mistake. But it was an obvious mistake since the invite email was addressed to the child it was intended for. The mother responded straight away to let me know wrong email and I apologized saying there was a mistake on the class list and that was that. I would just explain to your dc that there was a mix up and perhaps a little white lie could be given to spare your dc's feelings. I would say you forgot you already made plans for your dc (and arrange a play date for the same day with another child to do something fun).

This is awful!
Easy mistake to make but you go with it! Unless the child doesn’t like your son which clearly isn’t the issue, you’d just let them come! This is so mean and your response was fine! I’d block too.

Look, you tagged me, you then objected that I responded, which is frankly ridiculous IMO!

You’ve told me your opinion, I’ve said I don’t agree, move on? Stop tagging me, then saying I’ve got “beef” with you.

I hope said parent who made the mistake does not become or is not one who will defend their child against unacceptable actions.

yes because of course you’re more right than me..

The other parent needs to take responsibility and honour the invitation and your kid should know nothing about any of this.

God, no! Don’t do this, op.

Have read all your posts @Exaltedmalteaser.

YANBU. Really awful behaviour. More than rude: unkind. If you invite a child by mistake and it’s a party at home with a lot of children, one extra makes no difference whatsoever, unless they need a great deal of extra supervision.

Even if your own DC says: “I don’t want Johnny there because he causes bother”, you say: “Well, I’ve invited him now, so it’d be unkind to say he can’t come. I’ll make sure he doesn’t bother anyone”. Then, if necessary, ask the parent if they mind staying, or ask an extra family member/friend, to help supervise.

Even if it’s a limited number party, and you can’t pay for an extra place, then you profusely apologise and offer another birthday treat (e.g. cinema, bowling) to compensate.

I wouldn’t block them. But I wouldn’t be impressed.