To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

I HAVE had to uninvite a child after they had a massive falling out. But obviously the invited child didn't want to go anymore either. They made up afterwards and we had a trip with just the two of them. However, I chose the more tactful route of talking to the Mum and explaining that they'd clearly had a row and so DC didn't want them to come anymore. I was extremely embarrassed and the Mum was lovely.

If I'd invited a child in error, I'd have just made room.

What type of party was it. If it was an activity with a strict limit then I could see it as very disorganised and embarrassing for the person rather than rude

None of that excuses rudeness.

You make a mistake, you live with it.

I was in that whatsapp group. I don't think there was any malace, she did say in the initial invite that it's only 13 children going. She mistook your name for another mums name on the class WhatsApp group as there's one letter different.
Doing craft activities is quite hard to manage with lots of children.

Incredibly rude, even if I invited an absolute horror of a child by mistake, or it was going to cost me an extra £50 for an extra party place (appreciate that’s not an issue here) I’d just suck it up and put up with them for 2 hours rather than uninvite a child!

when parents point blank refuse to involve a child, it's either because of the child or because of the parents, and others tend to know it, and more often than not agree. That's just what I was trying to say.

You are the one making a drama, telling someone she is rude for making a mistake, and blocking her. It's bizarre, and I don't need to know the other woman to guess she is not bothered - or she would have just kept the invitation instead of backtracking so fast. With no fixed number, there is a reason surely.

I would love to know the reason, but she does, and you are forgetting when she is telling others, they will know why too.

If you like to call me bonkers, go for it, goes well with the rest😂

I wouldn't be surprised if that poster is the obnoxious mum.

You don't know if HER PARTNER is aware? 😂 how more patronising can you get.

I have no idea why the idea of your child at her house party was such a no, and why she just kept him on the invitation list after her mistake. It's unlikely there's no reason at all.

I wonder if she has told her partner or anyone else about this, it might give her some insight into her behaviour.
I still think you got that part completely wrong, and you are naive if you think she can't tell her friends in a way that is not flattering for you - just being factual, she made a mistake and you are throwing an absolute tantrum about it. The more drama you create, the worst you appear. It's up to you.

Just awful. People are horrible. I would tell your son that you've just remembered that you have plans already - and plan something - rather than say he's been uninvited.

yes, get rid of her, you were dead right to block her. Life is short, don't waste it on wasters. Imagine a scenario where you as an adult are invited to a party and then the invitation is rescinded as a mistake. How cutting, how ignorant, how ridiculous. Why is it any different for a child?

It's not just rude. It is cruel and unkind. I would have nothing more to do with this parent of the child. Absolutely vile and hurtful.

Totally rude! Especially given your kiddo wanted to go (it wasn't a case of him being utterly confused and not liking the kids in question). If I'd accidentally invited a child I would of course still invite them!!! With one caveat: if the child that had been accidentally invited had been bullying my child or was for some reason someone my child really was upset being around. Though, in that case, I would suck it up and tell the kid's parent the reason for the uninviting.

It's horrible thinking that people don't want to actually spend time with you. I remember my little sister being really excited about getting an invite to a birthday party once...she was at a new school and was so happy to be invited. It turned out that she'd only been invited to make up numbers (the activity that was planned required them to pay for a certain number of kids). And the nasty little snot who's birthday party it was told my sister that this was the case once she was at the party. It was so humiliating and cruddy. And of course back then there were no cellphones so there was no way for her to call home and ask to be picked up. So she just had to put up with it (the little snotty brat in question went on to become a GP - so just goes to show that there are indeed some rotten apples in the NHS - I feel bad for anyone who gets her as a doctor...)

Long way round of saying: it was shitty of them to uninvite your son, but i am glad he wasn't subjected to a situation of being somewhere where he wasn't really wanted. From now on don't bother inviting that other kid to anything.

Firstly, it's not hard to just not fuck up something as simple as getting the right kids invited to a party.

Secondly, it's how you handle your own mistake that matters. I would never uninvite a child and hurt their feelings because I fucked up. Its one small child attending an at-home party. Its not like the mum invited the whole class by mistake.

She was careless and if she thinks she's handled it fine then she shouldn't worry about other people talking about it, should she. She hasn't done anything wrong in your opinion so she won't have anything to worry about. I'm sure noone will empathise with the "petty" mum, as this thread shows.

If I was in her shoes and I absolutely couldn't accommodate, I would have grovelled and flattered a bit, saying I'd gotten confused and was having two little gatherings and had added DC to the wrong invitation day. I'd then organise a smaller playdate and suck it up because we all make mistakes but it's how we handle them that counts.

please don’t tell your son. make up an excuse why you can’t go

I used to give out verbal save the dates as often my child would omit an important friend due a falling out. It was always done in good humour. I think once the falling out was bad enough an invite wasn't given at all however. We also used to have to alternate two friends in junior school because they couldn't stand each other 😂.

It was rude but the Mum is probably trying to juggle and indulge the kid a bit too much.

That is being a doormat.

7 is also more than old enough to learn to stand for yourself, and that you don't have to be pushed to spend any time with someone you don't like, and that it goes both ways.

It's healthy to teach children to have boundaries with some people and stick with them.

We should stop forcing our children to invite people they don't like.

In his case, it was a mistake, I am aware!

They are 7, this is the age they need to be taught empathy and owning your mistakes. If mum had invited OP's boy by mistake, mum can explain this to her son and say that it is unkind to uninvite OPs dc now. She can say to the birthday boy "imagine <insert name of birthday boy's friends> invited you and then said you can't come, you'll feel upset wouldn't you? I don't think we should make <insert OPs dc's name > feel like that". If the birthday boy doesn't want to play with OPs dc then he doesn't have to. There'll be other children that OPs dc can play with.