To think uninviting a child to a party is exceedingly rude

*the party organiser, not neighbor!

You could do with a plan for managing the situation if your son comes home and says the party-child told him he wasn't invited anymore etc. It's good to have an alternative plan for while the party is happening but the distraction only works fully if the other child doesn't know about the situation.

The other mum isn't rude for making a mistake and no one has even hinted that she is. She's rude for kicking the op out of a WhatsApp group in front of everyone and uninviting the OP's child with no apology.

It makes perfect sense for the OP to point out such obvious rudeness, giving the other mum a chance to offer a solution or alternative playdate or something.

The other mum clearly doesn't feel she did anything wrong since she hasn't done any of those things and hasn't given a proper apology.

They are therefore clearly very different people with nothing in common and there's no reason to stay in contact.

I agree with the op, life is much too short to play nice with people who are rude to you. And I suppose the other mum doesn't rate the relationship either, given her actions, so I doubt she'll be trying to get in contact.

Nobody gets uninvited for no reason, especially to a large house party where numbers haven't been confirmed.

I expect your neighbor is telling you that it was a 'mistake' to avoid getting into the real reason.

Mistakes happen, sure, but the way the mum of the birthday boy handled it is jaw-droppingly rude.

With craft activities at home (especially as a teacher with experience with kids) it should be easy for her to add an extra child.

I agree with the op that there's no point dealing with people like that. Better to block and move on with your life. The kids can play together at school but I wouldn't be encouraging playdates at that woman's house - she clearly has no sense of normal, acceptable behaviour or of how children's feelings can be hurt by careless words.

I will admit I would be interested if party invite Mum showed up on the thread, yes! Would definitely be worth microwaving some popcorn.

I ballsed up a few years ago and invited the wrong ‘Bob’. I realised my mistake when Bob 2’s mum RSVP’d yes. I simply sent out an extra invite to Bob 1 and had both Bobs. Cost a bit more but I couldn’t bear to be so rude as to uninvite and upset a kid whose fault it wasn’t.

Did get into a slightly awkward situation where my child was then invited to Bob 2’s future birthday parties, when it was clear neither they nor Bob shared any interests or friends. And I then had to invite Bob 2 back out of politeness. Maybe uninviting in the first place is the right idea…!

Do you actually care that much if I am or not? 😂I love that some posters cannot comprehend that there's more than 1 person who disagrees with them.

I am not actually, I would never host a child's party in my own home for a start, but on an anonymous forum, I could be anyone anyway.

Awful of the inviting parent. How cruel

You haven’t explicitly denied being the party invitation Mum…

The bonkers thing is she is a teacher!

OMG you buried the lead there! Does she teach at your child’s school?

She’s been an absolute bitch and I think you have responded completely appropriately.

That’s outrageous. I might be tempted to push back and say sorry you’ve already told your son about the party and obviously it would be terrible to tell him it’s a mistake so I think given the circumstances she needs to make it work.

Parent WhatsApp groups shouldn't exist. Full of c u next Tuesdays

It's a 7 year old child - this is very odd and cruel.

It's not someone going round the playground badmouthing a child or their parent, is more comments you get. I have been told "oh you are brave!" by people when I invited some children as part of large groups 😂

Some people ARE difficult, it's not taking a "dislike to" a child, it's plain and simple fact that either the child can be "difficult" to say the least, and/or other children do not like them. Same with parents known to be too dramatic.
It's easy to see which children are always invited, and which ones less.

I see your point entirely but just one thing - You have to bare in mind (if I remember right) the Mum deleted her message and then kicked her off the group before sending her the message.

So that contributed to the - this is really rude.

I mean it's pretty humiliating for the OP to reply - 'my son would love to come' in front of all the other mums only to have that happen.

Regardless which Mum saw her message. I'd feel pretty humiliated in that context.

If it's crafts at home it wouldn't make a difference if it was 13 or 14. If a child was invited it's rude to uninvite them.
OP I'd avoid someone who was thoughtless like that too.

My reply said 'X would love to come' which I thought made it pretty clear he was aware of the invite and would like to come.

Yeah, but people write that whether they've asked their child or not. I think that's exactly what I said last time DC was invited to a party and I definitely hadn't asked him!

A lot of the time those parents who pretend to agree think they are a wanker and tolerates them. They have to show pretence for their child's sake not that they agree with her point of view of the parent or child they have taken a dislike to. When I heard the playground gossip I only listened I never gave my opinion.

Like PPs, I would probably just have included the child and not said anything. If I'd already had my kid draw up a guest list and he'd said he didn't want your kid, I would probably have chosen to have an awkward conversation with my child rather than social awkwardness with you.

But in the interests of trying to imagine that not everyone is a total bastard... Not all parents actually ask their kids if they want to go to a party or not. I would ask if my DC didn't know the child that well (child of my friends, not his friend) or if it was an activity I thought he might not like. But if it was someone I know he likes on a date that worked for us, I'd just accept on his behalf. If the inviting mum does the same, it might not have occurred to her that your child would already know about the invitation. In which case I'd say it's a bit rude, but nowhere near as bad as inviting the child directly and then telling the child they can't come.

If I were the inviting mum and I'd done this, if I messaged you that it was a mistake and you said 'well, I think you're being really rude', I'd find that a bit weird. If you said 'oh shit, that's awkward because I asked DC if he wanted to come so now he thinks he's invited', I'd try and squeeze him in.

Not just rude but downright unkind to a child. I would be very hurt on m child's behalf. You just cannot uninvite a child (or anyone)